Hellobee

All of your “to not preschool” reasons are why I wish I could work part-time. I had an uncomfortable conversation with our preschool teacher today about having more outdoor time, which ultimately came down to her saying they’re permitted to use the outdoor space at the school during X time (they take walks to a big park in the summer thankfully). They’re 3 and they do worksheets almost daily which is ridiculous. We can’t afford Montessori or the fantastic Waldorf school near us. I feel exactly the same about her being in full-time kindergarten relatively soon, especially with her being young for her grade (Halloween birthday) and kindergarten being the new first grade. If we can afford it financially we’ll have a third child when our current youngest is about 3-3.5, and I would not send her to preschool.

If we only had 5 days I would not do preschool. I’ve loved the 2-3 days we’ve done though. This year (pk4) we did 3 days – 2 just morning and 1 day of lunch. I feel like I have lots of time with her (and the siblings have lots of time) but she gets good things socially and makes friends. Its a very low key preschool too. Very thankful to have this option.

We’re SUPER lucky that we have a preschool across the street that emphasizes learning through play and being outside/getting dirty whenever possible, and that we can afford it. As a SAHM I struggled with feeling selfish or like a failure if someone else is looking after my kid, but he genuinely means learns & experiments in different ways when I’m not there, and as an only child with no cousins I really want him to get to flex those social skills. My thought is that being with me is valuable, but being in preschool has benefits I can’t give him, so trying to provide him with both is the best for his development.

… And I’m looking forward to getting a couple of hours back a week too! (though he’ll only be doing 4 hrs/3x a week, so I won’t be writing the Great American Novel or anything)

I never considered skipping preschool, but I did have very specific wants in terms of the programming. I wanted something part time, with the option to choose as many days as I wanted at the beginning of the school year. I also wanted something that was either play or nature based, and I am fortunate that I found something that checked all those boxes. I wish that were the case for every family out there, especially low income families, because Kindergarten really is the new First grade and kids are expected to know their letters, the sounds they make and be reading by the end of the year.

My boy starts pre school in Aug. it’s 2 hours a day for 2 hours. maybe something like that would tick more of the boxes on your pro and con list.

I stay home with my kids (all but one day/week) so I struggled with whether or not to send my son to preschool too. I ultimately decided not to send him this past fall and wait until 4 year old Pre-k starts at our public school next fall…
Then winter hit. I felt like he was getting bored playing with his little sister and I, plus the winter whether hindered our usual plans, so he started just 2 mornings per week. He’s very attached to me and didn’t want to go, but I think it’s good for him and he does enjoy the time he’s there. We’ll see how the transition to 5 half days goes in the fall…I’m a little worried about it!

I have had this internal conversation so many times! We are lucky that where we live there are plentiful preschool options with part time hours (Big P went 2 days a week for 2 1/2 hours as a 2 year old and now goes 3 days a week as a 3 year old). I still feel conflicted about it though for many of the reasons you outline ~ preschool mornings are more stressful and his curriculum is more structured than I think is ideal for this age group. That said, overall I think it’s been a good choice for our family and we did ultimately sign both our boys up for preschool next year.

Also ~ this totally resonated with me: I’m trying not to make any fast decisions knowing full well that winter time blues always put me in a “change everything” mindset that rarely has any follow through.. A few weeks ago in the dead of winter I decided we should sell everything we own and then it warmed up and I was like “actually never mind our life is great” :).

We just out my 3yo in prek 3 days a week for 3 hours. It’s been awesome, pick up is 11:30 and then she still naps at home. I don’t think she’s doing much traditional learning but it’s been great for her to listen to other adults, take turns and interact with more kids. After drop off they focus on a certain subject (i.e. Abraham Lincoln for Presidents’ Day) have a story and song then do a snack and play outside.

After much of your same thoughts, we decided to do 2 afternoons a week for my 3 yr old. I’m also expecting #2 in August, so I think I will be needing an afternoon nap with baby twice a week! But, if I didn’t absolutely love the program we found (a mix of Montessori and Reggio) I would have skipped it.

At two my son had a difficult time transitioning to two or three days of daycare (basically pre k) a week. By four he was ready ready ready for five days a week and complains when I pick him up early! With two I have zero time for any enrichment activities except the basics (hiking, playground, etc.). So taking him somewhere where he has the full attention and support of someone all day is wonderful for me. The hardest year of my life as a parent was when I had an infant and a 3 ear old at home and no regular childcare. Their routines were staggered and the demands were endless. Now that my older one is moving toward five I can see some beauty in that time but being completely honest, I’m the type that is easily depleted and I’ve been much happier since I started incorporating childcare into my routine. I agree that I don’t know if the academic elements are necessary. I do think the socialization is worthwhile, if the teachers are empathetic, push them to stretch themselves, etc. We did a public Montessori when LO was two, did a break from 3-4 when I had my second, and full day preschool once he turned four.

@Becky: it was surprising to me while researching the preschools that the majority only have a half hour of outside time during the 4 hour window they are there!

@Mrs. Peas: haha! I love the sell it all! After a particularly rough, snowy weekend I began looking up plane tickets to somewhere tropical- just for me, no husband, no kid!

@gotkimchi: that place sounds wonderful! Playful learning!

@sojellybean: I haven’t heard much about Reggio, I’ll have to look into that!

@Mrs. Sketchbook: good to know your rough ages, exactly what I’m going into!

Most of the options near us are 2 or 3 days a week and for only 2.5 hours which is perfect for three year olds. Our church preschool believes kids learn with their whole bodies and a big emphasis on play. I never considered no preschool because I think the socialization is key!

With a little one on the way I think you might enjoy the time with just a newborn but if you don’t like schedules, then maybe it’s not worth it. Good luck with your decision!

The preschool we have LeLe at starts at 2.5 and goes up to Kindergarten age, so the youngest kids go two days a week for 2.5 hours, the middle aged kids go three days a week for 2.5 hours, and the oldest kids go 5 days a week for 2.5 hours. The idea was to transition them slowly into a school setting and then gradually increase the amount of time they are in school so when they start Kindy, they don’t have such a huge transition.

Also, LeLe loves it and would be thrilled to be going more than 2 days per week.

I think it all depends on the school. I am not at all a fan of traditional preschool with emphasis on t aching kids holidays, and god forbid, using worksheets. We had our daughter in a far too adult led, structured program at 2 and are so much happier in a Reggio inspired school at 3. She goes 3 days a week in the mornings .Also, we have a 6 month old and I cannot imagine not having any preschool for our older– it wouldn’t be enough stimulation for her and I need the break! Something to consider as it can be hard to anticipate ahead of time

Just reading the other comments it seems what most consider preschool is just a few hours at a time a few days a week. I would probably do that to get some socialization if my children were at home with me the rest of the time. Since many families work though we unfortunately can’t control how many hours a day our children spend doing various activities at school. Reading some other comments I think some parents would be horrified at what kids do at all-day daycare but the reality is most parents go back to work and unless you are fairly well-off you don’t get much say. I’m not sure how it is elsewhere but it would be over $10,000/year for us to have just one of our kids in Montessori or Waldorf because we would have to do full time.

We are skipping preschool. We registered for 4k in the fall (3 hours a day), we’ll see how that goes. She’s 3, we do lots of learning together, right now she loves being active with me and the baby, and we are happy being together. We’ll see how it goes in the fall!

I agree with everything @Mrs. Sketchbook: said. Before I had my second, I had time and energy to do enriching activities with my toddler. But when the baby came along I was just so tired and stretched so thin, and with conflicting nap and eating schedules, I felt like we were just inside all the time and I couldn’t set up any of the fun craft or learning activities I thought I would do. Preschool has been so good for her. And one thing she really needs work on is the socialization part of it, even though we have done regular play dates since she was 6 weeks old. Plus, I lov having a little bit of one on one time with the baby, since she mostly just gets carted along to the preschoolers activities. We all benefit from preschool!

That said her school is only 2 half days a week at 3 years old. I’d be happy with 3 mornings a week too, but 5 would seem like a lot. And it’s very much play based, I have never seen her do a work sheet. She’s just learning to be in school and interact with other students and teachers.

We have loved preschool. It has given me the freedom to continue working from home without a nanny, and it has been so great for Little CC. It has helped him so much with socializing and with learning. We did start at 2.5 with 3 days a week, but they are fairly long days, at a little over 5 hours. Now he is four and in preschool 5 days a week and loving it.

That said, do what feels right for you. If you aren’t ready to let your child go to preschool, then maybe the time isn’t right. You could also skip the first year and have him in preschool for only one year.

I don’t understand the wait unt il he drops a nap comment. Our preschool half days are over around lunch time and they are usually so tired afterward that taking a nap isn’t a problem.
A lot of the comments here are really grating to me. I’m a public educator living in a relatively rural area. There is no Montessori, Reggio, etc, and my kids go to public preschool and do some worksheets. They also go outside 3x during their four hours. I don’t feel that learning to write their name or doing worksheets is inflicting any psychological damage to them. They actually seem to love preschool! Some of us don’t have the variety of choices that others do, and some of us work outside the home and HAVE to send kids to preschool. I don’t usually get worked up about posts on this site but this one struck a cord.
As with most issues, the kids will probably be all right.

@Eminthevalley: The dropping the nap really just had to do with the fact that I would be ready for a break in my interaction with Eli, rather than I worry about him taking a nap. I understand the frustration with the variety of educational options now being offered, as the daughter of a public school kindergarten teacher, it’s hard to break out of being worried that Eli has no interest in letters yet. Our area seems to span a lot of different ideas about education. We have some Montessori along with a very expensive and highly touted “prep school” challenger that has kids reading in preschool. Meanwhile, statewide kindergarten is not a requirement nor is it a full day kindergarten. My feelings about preschool or not mainly stem mainly from that, my feelings, am I ready, what work best for our family schedule, etc.

@Foodnerd81: the one on one with the baby is definitely something to consider! I had so much time to soak up Eli that I know will be hard to find with the new babe.

@Eminthevalley: I can only speak for myself, but as a stay at home mom sometimes I feel like I need to justify why I would send me kid to preschool when I’m already home, not earning money. There is no public preschool for 3s in my town and the 4s preK is actually more expensive than her coop that we go to. Just to provide a little background to my response, that could be relevant for others too.