It’s official — M is done with daycare/preschool as of May 1. The last time I went in to pay our bill I spoke with the admin who told me that the summer daycare signup forms were going out soon, and when ours arrived in the mail, Mac Daddy and I confirmed that we were ready to take her out for the rest of spring and summer. She’s starting kindergarten in September so these next few weeks will be her very last in daycare!
Why now? I decided there’s really no time like the present. A is old enough that he doesn’t need me to watch him literally every moment, and the two of them can interact without me being worried about someone accidentally getting smushed (that being the baby). He’ll be, ideally, able to sit up a bit more, eat solids, and do other bigger baby things by the time we get into the routine of M being home, so he’ll be more ‘fun’ for her, and because it’s warmer weather, there are actually things to do around town so we won’t be stuck at home, or we can just head out into our own yard. It’s a much better setup than being trapped at home through winter!
And, we could use the break for our wallets. We’ll be saving a decent chunk of money by keeping her out of care, and because she will need to be in after school care once kindergarten starts, we could definitely use that payment-free time to save up, or at least pad out our accounts after the financial hit of daycare, me being off work, and winter utility bills. I wish I could just sign her up for after school care once I go back to work in November, but there’s a big waiting list so we needed to put in for it for the whole school year.
Truth be told, I’m anxious. I have never been a stay at home mom of an older kid — I stayed at home for M’s first year, and am staying at home for A’s, too, but aside from juggling parenting and work and childcare when Mac Daddy worked shifts when M was a toddler, I have no experience, here. If it were just her I’d feel confident, but I truly don’t know how I’m going to keep her entertained, keep A from melting down without a quiet house for naps, and keep myself from withering of exhaustion. A’s sleep has been terrible and I am tired all the time as it is, with just him in the house on weekdays. I worry that I’ll give into too much screen time, the summer will get away from us, M will be bored and nobody will have fun.
But I’m also excited. I haven’t been able to truly take advantage of some of the summer programming and events and opportunities for kids because M as a baby was too young, and when she was older, she was in daycare. I’m looking forward to exploring our little town with the two of them, trying new things, and spending concentrated time with the two of them, because it’s likely not something I’ll get to do again, once I go back to work.
While I know I can’t really prepare, I’m trying to prep a little bit. I have a few Pinterest boards with ideas for outdoor activities, indoor activities, and easy snacks and meals for kids. I have talked to M about what her preschool days are usually like and am going to try to keep up some of the timing of that routine. I think we need to strike a good balance between scheduled and going with the flow, and we should be okay.
If you stay at home with a baby and an older kid, do you have any can’t-miss tips or tricks for me?
cherry / 141 posts
We have hot summers so outside activites aren’t easy BUT I plan to get outdoors in the early early morning if I can. I have a almost 5 year old and almost 18 month old so I feel you.
I’m debating about joining a gym where they have activities for the kiddos to do while I workout. BUT I’m weird about having people I don’t know really well watch them so I’m on the fence. The gym I’m talking about is part of our city and so they are deeply discounted for city residents. They also have swim classes, tennis classes and the like.
Trying to include academics in weekly normal activities is good. No pressure for them but they still keep learning or at least keep a strong academic base. Like having them count certain things on walks or car rides. How many white cars can we count? etc. What does this word start with?
Crafts from Targets $1 section is great. You can find simple crafts for $3 usually. We’ve dug out gems, painted a stepping stone, planted a watermelon (I see no signs of life), painted a birdhouse all from that section. goodluck!
cantaloupe / 6131 posts
I am not a SAHM but I was at home with an infant and toddler last summer during a 10 week gap before DS1’s preschool slot opened up.
1. Set up an awesome outdoor play area. We invested in this space because I did not think I could keep up with a sprinting toddler in the park with a baby in the Ergo. I have a covered patio and we put down green fake grass outdoor rugs and placed a water table, a small slide, some ride on cars, an inflatable pool that doubles as a ball pit with balls (we also got a pool cover to keep it covered), a kiddie picnic table, a sandbox with sand toys, and an old card table with folding chairs for the adults. This year we have further pimped it out with a tool bench, a little play/mud kitchen area, a cheap battery powered bubble machine, and a tiny cheap wireless Bluetooth speaker so I can blast my son’s jams. We also have a spare PNP we can pop open out there and let the baby hang out too. Most of the outdoor toys we picked up super cheap (i.e. Goodwill or super sales) so it’s no big deal if they get thrashed. It’s also great to be able to feed everyone out there too when the weather is nice. (Love our IKEA Antilop chair to pop back and forth for the baby). We also invested in some sunshade material to hang like a curtain on one end of the patio where the sun really beats down when it’s hot and got an ultraviolet insect zapper thing to keep everyone comfortable out there.
2. Gardening. On the edge of our patio we planted two containers of strawberries. My son loves being able to pick them as they get ripe. We also have a grapevine that he likes to pick from in the summertime. This year we also planted cherry tomatoes, cucumbers, and green beans – all things he can pick and eat straight away when he wanders the yard. You can get a small watering can and ask for help to water too.
3. Stations. We set up stations around the house that got designated for certain activities. It made it easier to transition him from one activity to the next. Breakfast table was for coloring and stickers. Kitchen island was for playdoh. Picnic table on the patio was for painting. Books in a little reading nook we made. I could keep baskets for those materials (plastic bins from the Dollar Store) and pull them out as needed.
4. Schedules. Honestly, I’m a schedule mom, so this may only partially apply, but I needed a schedule. My baby had to get his naps in and it wasn’t fair to make him take crappy naps on the go all day. So I made sure to try to lock down the morning nap at the very least. So all my structured activities in the morning revolved around my baby’s nap. Baby goes down, I grab the monitor, and my older son does his quiet stations or plays on the patio. If there’s a morning activity I can do before the baby’s nap, like a walk, great, but otherwise nope. Baby gets up, it’s time for lunch, and then afternoons can be a little more ad hoc.
5. Make a list of all the activities you can do, print them out, and put them on the fridge. A lot of times you are frazzled with screaming or whiny kids and you can’t think of what to do and the TV becomes default. Much like a menu plan it’s helpful to glance at a list of possibilities, pick something, and move forward.
6. Structure chores so it becomes a toddler friendly activity. It kills time and helps teach stuff and you have to do it anyway. I would ask my toddler to help me sort dirty laundry into the baskets and then I would ask him to help load it into the washer. Unload the dryer with me, then sort each person’s clothes into small baskets he can carry or push to their rooms. I can fold and hang things and he can throw stuff into drawers or bins. If I’m cooking, I have him “chop” things with a butter knife, shred rotisserie chicken, or sprinkle things, etc. We plan for interactive menus like make your own pizza, or help me make a big salad, or make a layered casserole he can help sprinkle things for (we make a ravioli lasagna and he can sprinkle ravioli, then I spread the sauce, then he can sprinkle chopped spinach and cheese, repeat). He can also dump things for crockpot meals in the pot for me. Then I make a huge fuss at the table about how DS made dinner (it’s especially nice if we have friends over for dinner and they all thank him profusely for the meal).
7. Which leads to this: invite people over! We routinely have our friends come over for dinner, especially on the weekends. They can interact with the kids while I get food in the table, we eat, they can watch one while we bathe another, etc. We look forward to the visit all day and can structure the day around prepping for it too. Setting the table, making food, picking/making dessert, cleaning up toys, making centerpieces or decorations if wanted, etc.
8. Rest time. Even if your kid is beyond napping, I would institute a quiet rest time in their room. DS1 still naps but even on days he decides to not sleep, he’s expected to hang out in his room until nap time is over. He just lays in his bed and plays with his stuffies and sings (loudly). This allows for you to get a break or to get some one on one time with the baby. Same thing when the baby naps – I would make sure to have intentional one on one time with the big kid.
9. Get a sitter. We had a Mommy’s helper come around for a few hours a week to give me extra hands. Usually I sent her off with the big kid to run hard at the park while baby and I took a nap. I was just really tired with both kids and I needed a break. Sometimes she would watch both kids so I could take a long hot shower and have coffee in peace in my bedroom. I was going without mani/pedis, hair, makeup, and clothes, so I felt like this was my self care budget.
10. Build in eating out once a week to not deal with dinner one night. We did Chinese delivery once a week and I got enough to have leftovers for a second meal.
wonderful pear / 26210 posts
I used to use the time to travel to see extended family…I would go to the coast for 2 weeks at a time and my husband would fly down to meet us and fly home together.
blogger / clementine / 985 posts
These are all really helpful — thank you! We are definitely planning to do some travel, which is part of why we’re pulling M out. I’m so thankful for your suggestions!
coconut / 8472 posts
OMG, I can’t believe M is going to kindergarten next year! Declan won’t go until 2019. In our school district you have to be 5 by 9/1.