It’s been a while since I’ve updated on our house selling/buying saga…but the good news is, we’re all moved into our new home! We love it here so far—the house may be smaller than our previous digs, but it is full of charming quirks and we can’t wait to personalize it to our own style. Our new neighbors couldn’t be friendlier, and there are tons of kids on the block for Little Cotton Candy to play with. We even set up a short play date at our house yesterday (more on that below)! Believe me, getting Little CC’s bedroom set up in time was not easy, but we’re all so happy he has a place of his own to play and sleep now.
Living room progress
I naively thought that once we got into the new house and were done with packing and cleaning our former residence that life would magically be awesome and stress free again. What was I thinking? On Monday evening, after the move, I walked right into a huge mess. Boxes piled in every room, nothing clean (the house isn’t gross or anything, just in need of a regular deep clean), and I had no idea where to begin. Each day since then has been a roller coaster of emotions as I simultaneously feel the accomplishment of getting things unpacked and organized—and despair that we still have so much to do and not enough time to get it done.
As I’m writing this now, I have 12 days until my due date. How did that happen?! I know people who have moved and had a baby in practically the same day, so our situation isn’t unique. But dang it feels hard sometimes. I’m still technically working two freelance contracts through either the end of the month or until I go into labor, though they are both fairly chill about letting me ease up when I need to. Plus, of course, there is Little Cotton Candy to consider—he needs constant attention, even more so now that he is dealing with his big feelings relating to our move.
Master bathroom progress
How is Little Cotton Candy adjusting to the move?
He is handling it like a rock star, but I know it isn’t easy. He misses his friends from our old neighborhood, and he is still adjusting to his new preschool, though it is going really well so far. The new school, which I got him into by the skin of my teeth (thank goodness for the person who moved and forgot to tell the preschool, opening up a spot for us!), is only four hours a day four days a week, so it doesn’t leave me a lot of time for getting home projects done. Then again, third-tri insomnia has me sleeping less, so I’m trying to make the most of the times when I just can’t sleep to knock out a few tasks.
Luckily, I was able to schedule a quick play date for Little CC with our new next-door neighbors for yesterday. They’re seven and 12 to his four, but they seemed excited to come over and play/hang out. Little CC was shy and didn’t really want to talk to them while they were over; instead, he got hyper and started doing silly things like hiding under the bed, and then more destructive things like taking unpacked items and tossing them around everywhere. The play date ended before it got out of hand, and I think overall he was happy to get to play with the new kids. Today, he spent some time just sitting out on our front porch, watching a big group of neighborhood kids play. I know he will warm up more eventually, and he’ll be best buds with everyone soon. I think getting the house organized and getting back to our regular routines will help him adjust as well.
How are we deciding which tasks to complete first?
With the ticking time bomb that is my uterus, it feels like we have to carefully plan which tasks need to get done sooner and which can wait until after baby is here. I polled one of my Facebook mom groups this morning, and the consensus seemed to be something along the lines of:
- unpack kitchen
- unpack master bedroom and bath
- unpack older kid’s bedroom
- unpack living areas
- get any necessary cleaning done.
I thought this was great advice. Tackle the areas where you’ll be spending the most time first and get them unpacked and set up so that they function for you. Then tackle cleaning tasks. For us, the cleaning priorities are dusting all the blinds, ceiling fans, and furniture; cleaning all the windows; and renting a carpet cleaner to shampoo all the carpet and rugs.
Of course, I also have to make time for tasks such as packing our hospital go bag (completed as of earlier this evening!), installing the car seat, and pulling out the newborn clothes and diapers. I’m juggling all of it, at some moments better than at others. Mr. Cotton Candy took off an extra day of work at the end of the week, and we were able to bang out a ton of little projects that added up to make a big difference.
How to ask for help.
Being 38 weeks pregnant with a baby who has noticeably dropped, I’m not able to do a lot of intense moving and cleaning labor. Fortunately, Mr. Cotton Candy has been doing the bulk of the physical labor, while I help with organization and logistics. In practice I have probably been doing a bit more than I should, but I am taking frequent breaks and listening to my body.
Normally I have a hard time asking people to help me out, but desperate times call for desperate measures, and I have been relying on my mom more often than usual to help with cleaning/moving tasks, as well as with taking care of Little Cotton Candy so we can focus on the move. She has been amazingly helpful, and I am so grateful for it. We’ve also asked some friends for help in order to get important stuff done. For example, we asked some of our friends who we moved closer to if they could have Little CC over for a play date tomorrow while we attend a hospital class on infant CPR. I’m trying to remind myself that there is no shame in asking for help when you need it and that there will be plenty of opportunities to return the favor in the future. Or in the case of my mom, to show my gratitude in other ways. It’s not always easy, but it’s an ongoing process.
Have you had any major life changes happening around the birth of your child? How did you cope with the stress?
persimmon / 1390 posts
My first pregnancy was a surprise. I had just moved back across the country, was finishing up my masters mostly online (I had to fly from NY to CO once to do a presentation), was in between my two interviews for my first real job, we were looking to buy our first house, and we were planning our wedding. I was 5 months pregnant when we moved so nbd, and almost 8 months pregnant when we got married. A few days before our wedding our tenants toilet line (clean water) burst upstairs and tore a massive hole in our bathroom ceiling. I was home alone and had been running around putting buckets and pots and pans all over he place because water was leaking all along the beams, before resorting to holding up the kitchen ceiling fan while waiting for the plumber and my in-laws to arrive because I didn’t want 2 massive ceiling holes, all the while nervous because we had recently had a lapse in our homeowners insurance. There was SO much going on that I had zero time to be stressed–I look back at that time as exciting and full of expectation.
At 35 weeks into my second pregnancy I spent 3 nights in a hospital bed with my 2.5 year old who had RSV. Like most kids she reacts terribly to steroids and Albuterol and I got no sleep. We had to leave the hospital one of those days to close on our new house. We moved into the house about one week later, and less than one month later baby 2 was born. The move was super easy–and I lugged a ton of huge boxes I shouldn’t have been lugging both at home and during a concurrent move at work. This wasn’t super stressful either–I just regretted not having time to think about the baby I was currently cooking. I worked full time throughout both of these moves, the second time as a supervisor and grant manager.
I’ve had staff take days off to move and it might sound terrible but I have no sympathy for that (but also support their personal time as being theirs to manage). We knew we had to get everything moved and out of the way and neither my husband nor I could put up with there being boxes around so we just banged it out. Relatives did paint for us the week between closing and moving in because my husband was out of town, and all I really had to do was trim and some shelves (he left the day my older daughter was discharged from the hospital–I actually had to cancel a big work trip). We were completely moved in in under two weeks with not a single thing left to put away. I had been so nervous reading threads about people taking 3-6 months to unpack all their boxes and I have no idea how it could take that long.
I definitely sweat the small stuff more (too much!) and am the kind of person who pulls through when something serious or important is happening.
guest
Becky, don’t know how you did it but kudos to you.
Mrs. Cotton Candy, you have a lot on your plate and sounds like you are doing awesome! Got a good game plan, and the help you are asking for is totally normal. There are so many times I offered play dates etc to new moms with older kids and just wish they would accept because something relatively easy for me can make a big difference to their situation for a few hours!
persimmon / 1390 posts
Oops I did mean to say staff with NO kids take off to move!
I did flex my schedule some in the week we had before moving in: I would go in early if I could so then I could go home and unpack for an hour or so before picking my daughter up.