I’ve suspected that Charlie has had ADHD since he was 3 or 4 years old, but it’s difficult for doctors to make a diagnosis before kids are 6 years old. We moved to the Philippines shortly before he turned 6, and by the time he turned 7 his behavior had improved immensely. I chalked up his behavioral challenges to maturity, the stresses of city life and a competitive school. Once we moved to an island, I put ADHD out of my mind for a while.

The reason I always suspected ADHD was because Charlie was so similar to my brother, who was diagnosed with ADHD at a young age — this was over 30 years ago. Two of my close friends also have sons who have taken ADHD medication since they were in first grade, and both moms report that it has had a hugely positive impact. Once Charlie’s mood swings and anger seemed to be under control, I noticed that he still struggled with impatience, fidgeting, and impulsivity. So I looked up the symptoms of ADHD once again.

Children with ADHD show signs of inattention, hyperactivity, and/or impulsivity in specific ways. These children:

  • Are in constant motion
  • Squirm and fidget
  • Do not seem to listen
  • Have trouble playing quietly
  • Often talk excessively
  • Interrupt or intrude on others
  • Are easily distracted
  • Do not finish tasks (via webmd)

For Charlie the symptoms manifest themselves as follows:

Fidgeting. This becomes most apparent when we are out. He has to touch every surface and object he encounters and it’s nearly impossible for him to be still. It’s like an uncontrollable desire.

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Speaks loudly and talks excessively. We constantly tell Charlie to lower his voice because he is very loud. He also always talks for Olive, and because she is much quieter she lets him. They actually had to be separated in a private tutoring class they took in America because he wouldn’t stop answering for Olive.

Impulsivity. Charlie sometimes hurts Olive accidentally because he is always jumping and moving around. We constantly have to tell him to be careful, but he really has trouble controlling his movements and impulsivity.

Interrupts others. This is a big one. Charlie constantly interrupts us no matter who we’re talking to, and though we’ve discussed it a thousand times, he still does it constantly.

.  .  .  .  .

While many people correlate ADHD with an inability to focus, people with ADHD can actually hyper focus on subjects that interest them. For instance Adam Levine of Maroon 5 and The Voice has ADHD, but he can completely immerse himself in music. Likewise Charlie can easily read for hours or anything else he’s interested in, so the image of a child in constant motion or unable to focus can be incongruent with what many imagine ADHD to embody. Though the rest of the classic symptoms fit Charlie, inattention is admittedly not a huge issue for him.

When we recently visited Los Angeles, I asked my mom to observe Charlie to see if she thought he had ADHD. I was just a year older than my brother when he was diagnosed as a child, so she had better firsthand experience with the symptoms. Her verdict? A resounding yes.

T R E A T M E N T

Charlie has gotten in trouble for talking too much in every class he’s ever been in, not staying in his seat, and somehow he always befriends the naughtiest kid in every class. But he was also always the youngest kid in class with a December birthday, so it’s hard to tell what is normal behavior and what is problematic when they’re so young.

ADHD can be difficult to diagnose as there is no definitive test, and often it’s done in collaboration with parents, teachers, and doctors. Treatments include behavioral therapy and drug therapy, both of which are not available locally. For now we’re working on educating ourselves on ADHD so we can best address Charlie’s needs. I think living a simple, stress-free life on an island has had a tremendous positive impact on Charlie, and it is one of the main reasons I want to continue living here for the time being. I can’t help but think if we lived back where we did in Brooklyn, he would need to take medication. For now I’m hopeful because most kids tend to outgrow ADHD as they grow older.

M E N T A L  H E A L T H

When I look at Charlie, I see a mini me of my brother. ADHD is the least of my worries — depression, anxiety, OCD and biploar disorder also run in my family. One of the things I most wished for as a parent was for my kids to escape these things, as these mental disorders have undoubtedly been one of the biggest challenges that have affected my  immediate family. But because I have firsthand experience, hopefully I’m much better prepared to deal with them in my own children.

Has anyone dealt with an ADHD diagnosis for your child?