When people hear that I am a foster parent, I am often asked why.

There are so many reasons that we decided open up our home. One of those reasons spent a year in my classroom, and his story touched me so deeply, I was forever changed. I knew then that this was something I was supposed to do *someday*. When you know their stories and see their faces, it is harder to look away.

Many years later, little things just started pointing us in this direction. I led a staff training at the YMCA on Adverse Childhood Experiences, and in the process learned so much about how children learn to trust after trauma. I saw the documentary Removed about what being taken from your home is like from a child’s point of view, and ugly cried for an hour. Then I stumbled on the AdoptUSKids website and found myself captivated by these sweet children. There are So. Many. Children. that need a stable home and a forever family. When you know their stories and see their faces, it is harder to look away.

So we changed our plans, sold our house so we could build one big enough for our family to grow. We went to the information meeting “just to see,” and we knew it was time. We took the classes. We prepared our home and our hearts.

The holidays are coming, and I am reflecting a lot on where we were a year ago. We had just completed our home study, so we were waiting and praying for the children who would eventually join our family. We were excited, and brokenhearted, and joyful, and a little terrified. We were ready, but you can never really be ready. Those feelings are all so raw still. In a way, I feel them even more deeply today.

And then I start thinking about where our little people were at this time last year, while we were waiting for them. I don’t know a lot of their story, but I know enough to imagine. It breaks me every time. For them. For their sisters. For their parents. For a world where foster care even has to be a thing.

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This is National Adoption Month, and to every person who has said to a foster parent…”I couldn’t do it… I would get too attached,” I say this: What if you could? What if you could provide for the most basic needs of a child who needs so little. Shelter. Food. Safety. Most importantly, love. If foster care is too scary because you are afraid of letting go, I get it. But if adoption has ever tugged on your heart, there are currently over 180 children from my home state of North Carolina alone waiting for a family, all of whom are legally free for adoption today.

If this is ever something you have considered, I am always here to answer questions or to try to connect you with the people who can. It isn’t nearly as scary as you would expect, and it is a whole lot more joyful than you can imagine. ❤️

When you know their stories and see their faces, it is harder to look away.