I have a friend staying with me right now until she gives birth. Her due date is January 15th, but because she lives in a remote town 7 hours away from the hospital, she’s staying at my house in the island capital, close to her doctor. Most of my closest friends, including me, all gave birth a month+ early after all!
She’s a 26-year-old first time mom-to-be, and will not have her parents, who live in Holland, here for the birth. I’ve been trying to prepare her for what to expect as far as labor, postpartum recovery, breastfeeding, sleep, etc., as she hasn’t done much research. I’m really trying to provide breastfeeding support as she hopes to breastfeed, and given that access to gear is limited here, it would be much easier on her if she can breastfeed.
It’s already been over 7 years since I last give birth, and at the time I wrote this post on new mom tips — it’s amazing how little I knew about being a mom until I actually became one!
Whether it was reading birth stories, knowing what to expect postpartum, breastfeeding, infant sleep, etc. What do you wish you had known as a first time mom?
pomelo / 5621 posts
I wish I’d known more about newborn/baby sleep. This is something I didn’t really read anything about. This time around, 5 years later, I was a little more prepared.
wonderful kiwi / 23653 posts
I feel like I “knew” a lot particularly thanks to HB, but the difficult thing is probably that every experience is SO different, you don’t really know what you are dealing with till you’re there! For example, pushing just didn’t come easy to me both times, tho I fared better at 20 min vs 2 hrs the first time!
apricot / 424 posts
I wish someone had told me about the sweating at night after giving birth. I ended up laying out 1 or 2 changes of PJs once I smartened up so that I could easily change mid sleeping in the weeks after giving birth.
Oh and losing my hair so that for the next year or 2 I would have all those short baby hairs around my face.
grapefruit / 4144 posts
I wish that I knew that some women – no matter how hard they try, how many times they cluster feed/pump, how many galactagogues (natural herbs or medications such as Reglan), how many specialists they see, or what they do – milk supply will not increase sufficiently and supplementing may be necessary. (Some women have dense breast tissue and only a few milk-producing glands/alveoli.)
I tried EVERYTHING with DD (while crying non-stop) and my supply completely dried up at the start of 3 mos. With DS, I was luckier and made it to the end of 6 mos, but I could only get 4 oz (combined both breasts) at most. Atleast with DS, I was prepared and comfortable enough with supplementation to do so. No shame as while I yearned to breastfeed for all the right reasons, I knew in my heart “Fed [anyway possible] is best.”
pear / 1622 posts
I didn’t come across HB till after I had my first.i wish I knew how difficult recovery would be as well as breastfeeding and pumping.
cherry / 247 posts
Babies change so quickly! Once you figure them out, they change. If a particular phase is really hard on you, just know it won’t last very long. And keep an open mind because you’ll need to change your parenting tactics right along with them- constantly!
apricot / 264 posts
I don’t think you can ever truly prepare for the complete shock becoming a mom can be. I wish I would have just relaxed more and enjoyed the newborn days because they pass so quickly. Just hold and cuddle that baby!
wonderful pea / 17279 posts
I wish I understood more why people get the belly band and formula in the hospital while your milk comes in is a great thing for your baby.
pomegranate / 3973 posts
I wish I had known that giving formula in those first few days does not doom breastfeeding. Everything I read said not to give a bottle. When the pediatrician told me I had to give formula the first day we got home I bawled. It was FINE and we breastfed for 14 months. With DD I gave her that bottle of formula the first night we got home and rejoiced in a solid 3 hours of sleep!
Also, take it easy post-birth! I made the mistake of vacuuming after DS was born and paid for it later. And your body will be rearranging itself for a couple weeks and it hurts! (I called my OB the week after because of horrible cramps, thinking it was something worse, it wasn’t.)
clementine / 948 posts
“Awake time” intervals by age. Like currently my 5 month old has an awake time of 1.5 to 2.25 hours. There’s a good chart that I always share w my first time mom friends
Def warn about baby blues/post partum sumptoms by telling a personal story too – doesn’t feel as taboo or intimidating to talk about then
clementine / 948 posts
Oh and totally agree with formula occasionally until milk comes in recommendation. I also hated all of the lactation consultants that I met in the hospital so warn friends about how aggressive and sanctimonious they are.
clementine / 874 posts
@RonjaL7: Soooo many baby hairs! They just look awful!
I wish that I’d known about allergy symptoms earlier. DS projectile vomited every formula I tried and I thought he just didn’t like it. Nope. Allergic to all dairy.