Hellobee

Recently I was called brave. It is not usually a characteristic I would assign to myself, in fact quite the opposite. I love being comfortable and safe and don’t often go out looking for excitement. Typically I consider myself kind, loyal, caring, and hardworking. If you are a Harry Potter fan, I am a Hufflepuff through and through, Gryffindor no way. But becoming a parent has brought out some other traits in myself that I did not expect and don’t often give myself credit for. Motherhood, in fact, has made me brave.

Here is how this epiphany all came about. I was having a conversation with a coworker who is a 20 something, unmarried man with no kids.  He was telling me about how he was afraid to go to the dentist but that his girlfriend really wanted him to go. I told him how I hated the dentist and didn’t go through all of college, but when I had kids I started going back. He asked what made me go back, and I told him that I didn’t want my kids to be afraid to go so I started going regularly as well. He said, “Wow, I guess that’s what being a parent is all about, facing your fears for your kids huh?”

I hadn’t really thought much about it at the time, but I just knew that I wanted to set a good example for my kids. I still have a difficult time going to the dentist. The scraping sound of the teeth cleaning makes every muscle in my body tense, but I go.

Recently, we went on a hike in Utah where my husband’s family took us to Red Cliffs. There is a part on one of the trails where you have to use a rope and footholds to swing yourself around a rock and get over a stream. The temperature was about 35-40 degrees, so although I didn’t test the water temperature myself, I knew it was pretty cold. I love being outdoors and hiking but I am also afraid of heights and have pretty horrendous balance. I looked at the rock we were about to cling to and I was nervous. Then my one of my boys looked at me and said he didn’t want to do it. He was too afraid.

My fearless daughter had no trouble tackling the rock, while I sat there nervously watching her cling to the wall.

I know that it sounds harsh, but I looked at him and told him there was no choice, we were doing it and he needed to do it. He is a very nervous kid but is always excited after he tries and succeeds. While I was trying to convince him how easy it would be and how wonderful it would be to see what was on the other side, in the back of my head I was thinking, “what if slip off this rock and fall into a cold stream?”

Well after some pep talks I took off over the rock. He wanted to go in between me and his Great Aunt. I got to the other side with no problems and threw the rope back over to my son. He grabbed it and started to climb. Of course he made it and I reached out my hand to help him with the final step. We made it and got to enjoy the rest of this magnificent canyon together. We talked about being nervous and how it’s OK to worry but that we can’t let it hold us back.

Enjoying the rest of the canyon after the rock climb.

As a mother there are tons of times when I have been afraid for my kids. Everyday when I send them to school I think about lock down drills and what they are preparing for. But they come home each day telling me about what they did in school and I know it’s worth it. I think about teaching them about strangers and how they should never go with someone they don’t know. And then I let them ride around our neighborhood alone and they come back and tell me what they found. I think about taking them on hikes where they could get hurt or amusement parks where they could get lost. Each time we share wonderful experiences that came from me overcoming a fear.

Being a parent really is about facing our fears for our kids. I face my fears so that they can experience life. Motherhood has made me brave.