Hellobee

Recently jennlinn821 had some questions about our lives in the Philippines, so I opened it up for you guys to ask away. I’m happy to share about our experiences living abroad with kids aged 7 and 9!

Q: Could you do a post about cultural differences?

The Philippines is a unique country in Asia because of its strong Western and Asian influences. It was colonized by Spain from 1521-1898 (377 years) and then by the US from 1898-1946, with the US maintaining military presence in the Philippines until the 1990s (100 years of presence). As such, there are many Western influences that remain today – the vast majority of Filipinos are Roman Catholic (the largest Catholic population in Asia), many have Spanish last names, they speak English, and I don’t think any country in the world loves old school American love songs like Filipinos! This was an interesting post I came across recently that explains why Filipinos are both Spanish and Asian, and perhaps Pacific Islanders too.

Filipinos are some of the friendliest people on earth, and they are generally very warm toward foreigners. I’ve had countless questions about where I’m from, and despite my perfect English, they always see me as Korean and not American because of my physical appearance. I suppose that happened to me in the US too. Filipinos are always smiling, and literally cannot control singing or dancing when they hear a song they like. Their joy is infectious! They’re also ridiculously talented performers if you ever watch American talent competitions. And despite having “less” than most Americans, they are definitely happier. It has put my former life of abundance into perspective, and though I’m not immune from missing some of the things that are so easily accessible in the US, I truly prefer living with access to less. It makes me appreciate everything and think about the things that are essential.

Filipinos have a deep respect for elders like other Asian countries, and of course they take off their shoes before entering their homes! The extended family is important and they often live together in one house. They are very social and prefer being in the company of friends and family, and do not like being alone. We had to make adjustments to our management styles when moving here as Americans tend to be much more direct and communicative. Filipinos can be very shy and nonconfrontational, especially in an employer-employee situation. That said Filipinos are also passionate people who can get extremely mad and show it!

One of the biggest adjustments living here has been “Filipino time” because I was so punctual when I lived in the US. Everyone is late here, foreigners and locals alike (it’s definitely island life), but I’m so used to it, it really doesn’t bother me. I guess that’s why Filipinos are so patient! I’ve never seen anyone get mad or impatient in a long line, and there are a lot of long lines here! One time a guy got in line behind me when I had two cartfuls of items and I suggested he go to the shorter line in the next aisle. But he didn’t mind waiting at all, whereas I always look for the absolute shortest line. I think the laid back culture here has been a good respite of the fast-paced city lifestyle I had in New York, especially for an anxious person like me.

Q: What is public education like? I’m also very curious about the language, does everyone speak English, or are your kids bilingual?

Public education unfortunately isn’t that great on our island. Classes are overcrowded (60+ kids in a class) and resources are severely lacking. There are no public libraries either, so the only books most children have are textbooks. Expats here usually send their kids to private school, but even then the options are very limited, or they homeschool/unschool. Schools — public and private — are taught in English, so most Filipinos can speak English. In fact, the Philippines is the 4th largest English speaking nation in the world after the US, India, and Pakistan. My kids are not bilingual, but you really have to make a big effort to learn the language because everyone speaks English! Even many Filipino kids can’t speak Tagalog, which is the main language spoken here, because their parents speak different dialects and communicate in English.  Cuyonon is spoken on the island we live on, and they wouldn’t be able to converse with someone in Tagalog and vice versa. Overall there are over 150 dialects as the Philippines is comprised of over 7000 islands.

Q: What do most adults do for work (maybe a little bit more about money/costs)?

Most foreigners that live on this island tend to own their own business, or they’re scuba instructors. Most locals are farmers or work in the tourism industry, except in the capital city where all the government offices for the island are located. This is a pretty big island (280 miles long) with majority farmland, except for a couple of tourist destinations. I’ve been tracking my expenses all week and will share my expenses as well as monthly budget tomorrow!

A unique thing about the Philippines is that there are over 2 million OFW’s (Overseas Filipino Workers) that work abroad and send money back to their families here. One of the most common professions is nursing, as Filipinos speak English, are naturally warm, and it pays much more abroad than in the Philippines. Working for call centers is also a very popular job here. But of course Filipinos have every type of job under the sun! The Philippines is actually one of the fastest growing economies in the world right now (it’s set to become the 18th largest economy in the world by 2037). That said there is a stark contrast between the wealthy sector of the population, and the large number of people that remain in poverty. The Philippines is still a developing country, and there remains a big divide between the lower and middle classes.

Q: How difficult is it for expats to fit in with locals?

Local could mean someone who grew up in the capital city of Manila, which is like any other major metropolitan city in the world. It could mean someone who grew up on a provincial island like the one we live on now, without much electricity or access to modern conveniences. And it could mean someone who grew up in the mountains and still retains the native culture.

a native mountain tribe from our island. their blow dart skills are sick!

There are so many smart, successful, well educated/traveled/read locals here. Most of my friends are Filipino business owners, who grew up near the country capital but moved here for a simpler life. They are pretty similar to my friends in America. We have quiz nights, we go hiking, we have book clubs, and we drink wine.

Most of the locals on this island had a much more provincial upbringing and many did not have education beyond the elementary level, either because they couldn’t afford to attend school or they had to start working. Someone I met recently told me that she had to walk over 2 miles to her elementary school every day, and we have a rainy season here where there are downpours! I have heard many stories of abject poverty, but somehow locals remain optimistic and positive.

Getting along with locals is easy because they are genuinely interested in foreigners, whether we’re tourists or expats that live here. I think the Philippines is definitely one of the friendlier countries to foreigners, given their long history with Spain and the US, and as long as you make an effort to understand the local culture, they will welcome you with open arms.

Q: I agree with you on your last post about the frustrating and sad state of American politics. But I am wondering about how Filipino politics affect you/your community? My in laws are Filipino and we have lots of family living living there and hear about Duterte a lot.

Duterte has been compared to Trump, and Trump has praised the great relationship he has with the president of the Philippines. Duterte is very popular in the Philippines, with a 81% approval rating, thanks in part to a booming economy. He has come under international criticism for human rights violations with his war on drugs, but it is largely concentrated in Manila (the country capital) and on locals, so it does not really affect our daily lives in Palawan, the island we live on. It is not my place to criticize the government as a foreigner (and the president forbids it). But I feel perfectly fine living here. Where in the world is safe anyway? The US with its insane mass shootings and refusal to implement gun control? Major European cities with terrorist attacks? I always said New Zealand was one of my safe countries, and that isn’t either anymore. Iceland here we come?

Q: How long did it take for it to feel like “home” there?

I don’t think it truly felt like home until I moved to the island capital 8 months ago. There are many reasons for that: 1) We were living in the middle of a resort with absolutely no privacy (our front door opened into the resort front desk) so it never felt relaxing and it never felt like home; 2) I planned to leave the Philippines, but now we’ve committed to staying at least another two years and have set down more roots. That intention goes a long way in making a place feel like home; 3) Most of the expats living in El Nido plan to leave, so there isn’t as much of a community. In the island capital, I have made so many good Filipino friends that are here for the long haul and have established such a wonderful community. Even after we move away from this island, I am sure I will come back to visit time and time again.

Q: I’m really interested in hearing from you or others about getting to a place where you can move abroad. Your post on what you don’t miss or have to deal with about the US really resonated and I’m always battling a feeling of “wouldn’t it be better to just live somewhere else?” I’m curious about the reality of it for people with typical US 40-60 hour/week jobs and student loans (if there are any unicorns out there who have somehow made it work!).

I have a teacher from the US moving here in less than a month to home school Charlie. Charlie’s teacher says the teaching degree she got really opened a lot of doors for her, as it provided opportunities for her to exchange her teaching services and live in Tanzania and Wales with her 5-year-old daughter. It’s pretty easy to get a job teaching English or tutoring kids online, and you usually make about $20/hr. I would suggest joining Facebook groups for whatever you’re interested in doing (unschooling, worldschooling, etc.). The members are generally very helpful and transparent about expenses and what kind of work that do, savings they have, etc. that enable them to sustain that lifestyle.

Some people rent out their homes and apartments, especially if they live in expensive areas like San Francisco, New York, Hong Kong, and Singapore, and use that money to travel or live in a cheaper part of the world. An Australian mom I met here realized that it would cost her less money to travel around southeast Asia for a year than live in Australia, so she put her house for rent and made extra money with freelance writing gigs. I met her towards the end of her year-long trip, and she didn’t want it to end.

Another of my friends is a digital nomad and can work anywhere in the world. The cost of living is definitely much lower in places like Southeast Asia. But as anyone who has lived abroad will tell you, there is a steep learning curve adjusting to the way things are done in a new culture, making friends and business connections, and just settling in. It’s never as easy as you think it will be, and you will be challenged and frustrated and learn and grow. But one day it will feel like home and you won’t be able to imagine going back to the home you once knew.

Q: How does your family in Los Angeles about the change? How often do you see them? Talk to them? You’ve talked about moving back to the US someday, is that still the plan? Do your kids ever talk about moving back to the US? Your recent posts have made it sound like you all really enjoy living there.

My family would love nothing more than if I moved as close to them as possible. I really don’t want to live in Los Angeles (I lived there for 22 years), but I feel very guilty because my parents are getting older and I want all of us to spend more time with them. My mom flies out here once a year and we fly out to Los Angeles once a year. I am the worst person in the world about making phone calls, but we talk once or twice a month and regularly send texts and pictures. As far as moving back to the US, I’m sure it will happen one day, but the US will always be there. My dream has always been to move to Europe. I want to travel as much as we can and experience as many cultures as we can, and that’s difficult and expensive to do while living in America. My kids don’t talk about moving back to the US even though we go back every year and they have a fantastic time being completely spoiled by my mom. They love every destination we go whether it’s the US, Korea, the Philippines, or somewhere new. And I don’t blame them because there is no destination I’ve been in the world that I didn’t like.

it’s currently jellyfish season, but these don’t sting

Q: I’m extremely insect-phobic – are there dangers there like snakes, spiders, animals that you worry about?“

Nature is wild here, and I’ve never been afraid of it, so neither are my kids. They can touch jellyfish, geckos, frogs, worms, snakes, no problem. Of course there are tons of mosquitoes, but we only get bites very occasionally. When I used to visit before we lived here, I would get massacred by mosquitoes. But I think somehow your body adjusts when you live here and you either get less bites, or less reaction to them. Geckos are perhaps even more common than mosquitoes because they take up residence in your house! But they eat mosquitoes so they don’t bother me. Mr. Bee killed a poisonous snake once, and our staff has killed a couple as well. I just found a scorpion in our house this week, but have only found maybe 10 scorpions total in our time here, only 2 of them in the house and they were both babies. There are tons of stray dogs here, but I have absolutely no fear of them. They can sense that, so they never attack me. I’m just not scared of animals of any kind! I’m raising wild kids and I love it!

Q: Please more about homeschooling especially since I think you said you are importing a teacher. I think about Homeschooling my child but his ADHD drives me batty when trying to do homework or make up work.

I have too much to say on this so it will be a separate post!