One of the biggest differences between life in the Philippines versus the Western world, is that full-time domestic help is the norm here for middle class families. The minimum wage in our province is ₱283 Philippine pesos for an 8-hour day, which is $5.53/day. The work week is 6 days so a month’s wages comes out to ₱7358, or $143.74 US dollars. Most people pay ~₱300/day, which comes out to $152.37/month.
I have a part-time cleaner (15 hrs/week) and part-time driver (25 hrs/week) because my Western self enjoys privacy and doesn’t want someone in my house all day. My Filipino friends, on the other hand, grew up with domestic help and big families so they’re used to a house full of people. Most of my friends have full-time cleaners, drivers, cooks, and nannies if they have younger children. 4 full-time staff comes out to $600/month, which is less than it would cost to hire 1 staff part-time in the US!
A couple things to keep in mind is that everything takes longer to do here, like having to pay bills in person, and not being able to get anything delivered, so there is much more work that goes into running a household. Life is definitely not as convenient as the Western world. There is also a pretty laid back island mentality when it comes to work. Of course it’s nice to have help though! I don’t have to worry about cleaning the floors or bathrooms, or doing school drop-offs and pickups. Since we live 3 minutes from Olive’s school, I even send a hot lunch with my driver every day at noon.
So what do I do with all that free time that I don’t spend doing chores and running errands?!
When you have free time, you find ways to fill it. I do all the grocery shopping (which takes a long time because you have to go to so many different places, at least 3x a week because of availability), I cook every meal (we rarely eat out and my kids eat best when I cook), I cook food and clean up after pets and strays (8 dogs, 9 cats, 2 rabbits), I do a lot of animal fostering and rescue, I run 4 different local Facebook groups, we travel back and forth between El Nido (where Mr. Bee lives) and the island capital (where we live) twice a month 5-6 hours one way, I do a lot of things for the resort (purchasing, payroll, etc.), I run Hellobee, I homeschool Charlie, I solo parent, and I’m starting an Airbnb next month and writing a guidebook. I very rarely watch tv and feel like my days are jam packed. I’m always wondering where the day went!
I’ve thought a lot about women’s mental load since I last wrote about it. What if you had much less of a mental load because you had a lot of help, like I do? If you add up all the hours you spend in a week cleaning, cooking, driving, doing childcare… that’s a lot of hours! I can imagine that an uneven division of housework causes a lot of battles in the home (ahem mental load carrier here). Because I don’t do much housework (ps I still do a lot of it), am I happier? Less stressed?
I guess I’ve adjusted to having help as my new norm. I don’t feel any happier and I don’t feel any less stressed, but this is a particularly difficult period in our lives right now if you’ve been following along with what’s been happening in our lives the past couple of years. Personal challenges as well as massive work-related ones means that we have plenty of things to worry about and keep us busy. Of course it would really suck if I also had to clean bathrooms on top of that. 
A lot of my expat friends that move back to the Western world say that the thing they will miss most is domestic help. But I honestly don’t think I will miss it much when we leave. Living in a third world country has many pros and cons. I’ve loved the pros — a much simpler life, a deep connection to nature, a tight knit community — but there have also been cons. I think I’d give everything up to live closer to my parents though as we all get older. And I can’t say that I’m any happier here than I was when I was living in the US, despite the fact that I haven’t really had to clean since we moved here.
If you had full-time domestic help, do you think your life would be easier? better? happier?
pear / 1565 posts
You are one busy bee! I also grew up in Asia and my sister & I grew up with live in nannies and you are right, it’s totally the norm, and affordable for most.
We currently don’t have any hired help except for landscaper in the summer months. Daycare bills is already an arm & a leg, but my life WOULD be easier if I can afford a weekly house cleaner!
guest
I was born in Asia and have family still living there. When I visit, it is nice to to have full-time household staff take care of all the cooking, cleaning ,driving, etc. But, you still have to manage that staff, and that adds a layer of stress. Dealing with requests for salary raises and advances, finding replacements when staff go on vacation (or just ghost when they find a new job), finding solutions when staff don’t get along–that’s would be a nightmare for my introverted self! So, yes, it does make things easier, but there could be complications, too.
grapefruit / 4584 posts
I went from having full time live-in domestic help (living in Asia) to not having it when we returned to the US, and not having a similar replacement. Here we have a weekly cleaning lady, and occasional babysitters, and that’s about it.
I’ve been back for 4.5 years, and I still miss my helper. Primarily it’s just the extra pair of hands – i.e., someone can run to the grocery store or get older kids at school while the baby sleeps, but I also really miss frivolous things, like getting to do the cooking myself, but not having to wash the dishes afterwards.
I agree that in most US communities, a helper is less necessary because of online shopping and bill pay services.
clementine / 948 posts
This isn’t the same – but we had an au pair join us in September. So that’s 45 hours/week of help – I work about 30. So I have some flexibility in scheduling date nights, or asking her to go to the grocery store, or exercising when the baby naps etc. admittedly I still feel guilty scheduling myself any me time – still prob only get mani-pedis every 4 months. But I can do one on one time a the kids, give them special time, which is nice bc she can watch the others
It’s made life much more manageable
We also have cleaning ladies that come every other week and landscapers weekly.
guest
My husband is in the Navy & we are currently living in Bahrain in the Middle East. Domestic help is the norm here, especially among the locals. We have a once-weekly cleaner and I do feel happier & less stressed because I never have to feel guilty about choosing my hobbies over housework, which was a constant mental battle for me before. Lots of our friends have live-in help and our house has a maid’s room but I don’t like the idea of a total stranger living in my house, no matter how helpful she might be. But I will miss the affordability of our cleaner (who also moonlights as our babysitter for more frequent date nights!) when we move back to the States.
guest
We had a a cleaning lady twice per month after we bought our first home-before kids- and we both worked 60+hours each week. Then we did it ourselves, had a kid got her back. Then I became a SAHM and I suddenly became responsible for it all. Like even taking my vehicle for an oil change, mowing the lawn & landscaping all. After my husbands made executive I got my twice per month cleaning lady back-in another state and a smaller home. She only cleans, no laundry or errands. She’s been a breath of fresh air, and has provided me enjoyment of my home back. I really really find it unenjoyable to clean. I LOVE shopping of all sorts-and in fact SHIPT shop for others-and I also don’t mind laundry so for me it was taking the worst part and making it hiring it out for the win! Then when I was preggo we Hired the mowing and that continues, too.
pomelo / 5628 posts
We have a cleaner bi-weekly, landscaper and pool guy weekly. And we also have a nanny in the morning who does all kid-related stuff and some shopping and laundry. I feel guilty about having the ability to have a nanny! It’s definitely not the norm. The help is extremely nice and takes a huge load off.
blogger / apricot / 275 posts
i’m finding it to be such a burden and I really dislike being a homemaker. i know some people love it and my mom was great at it but really don’t and i fell into it because i could’n’t work after my brain injury and i’m so tired. we are just figuring out all the childcare, moving back to the US and trying to get me working more since i think i’m capable of it at this point. this week is the first one this year that we’ll have a cleaner once this week and childcare for a portion of the day 5 days a week and i’m excited just to collect myself.
admin / watermelon / 14210 posts
@em – you know my pain girl! all that and more!
GOLD / nectarine / 2884 posts
This is a great post because it reminds me that we always adapt to our luxuries. in my mind I know this is true but emotionally there are times I wish we had more money for the luxuries in life, especially to be able to pay for services like lawn care and a house cleaner. right now we are trying to save money like crazy so I house cleaner isn’t in the cards. What I have found that helps me is giving myself as much time as I need to clean. In the past I would get frustrated that I couldn’t get the whole house clean on an open afternoon. Now I acknowledge that it takes longer than one afternoon to clean the whole house so if I end up spending three afternoons doing it then so be it. Because I don’t have a house cleaner I am having to encourage my kids to help. This summer my son has learned how to sweep, how to do dishes, how to start laundry, how to water the plants. He’s only six so I think this is pretty good!