Hellobee

I have good news to share… I am pregnant!  I’ve already reached the halfway point and am 20 weeks pregnant this week. I tried to keep the news fairly private until about 16 weeks because my last pregnancy ended with a miscarriage at 15 weeks. It honestly never feels like I’m in the “safe” zone despite being this far along, but I do feel better with each passing day.

This was the first picture I took of myself being pregnant at 16 weeks.

This journey to pregnancy was quite different from my previous three pregnancies. With the other pregnancies, I was able to get pregnant after 1-3 months of TTC. I never thought that I would have struggled with secondary infertility given my previous history. However, after 16 months of TTC, we decided to move forward with fertility treatments. Those 16 months felt long and painful so it is such a relief and joy to be where I am today. I remember reflecting back on 2018 and telling Mr. Pizza that it was the saddest year of my life. I know that sounds overly dramatic, but when I was in the middle of it, it was hard to stay hopeful and see beyond my circumstances. The monthly disappointments were overwhelmingly discouraging.

After about a year of TTC, I went to a fertility clinic to undergo testing and see if there were any underlying issues that I wasn’t aware of. The doctor didn’t find any concerns in the testing but did notice a few uterine polyps. I underwent a surgical procedure to remove the polyps and then we tried several more months of TTC naturally. Finally, Mr. Pizza and I agreed to move forward with the next step that was recommended for us, which was to get an IUI with Clomid.

It took some time for Mr. Pizza and me to be in agreement with moving forward with the IUI. I was devastated every month I got my period and wanted to move forward with an IUI as soon as the doctor had suggested it. However, I knew that just because Mr. Pizza didn’t sense the same urgency as me, it didn’t make it the right time for us to move forward.  It’s a very personal choice that requires both you and your partner to be in agreement. It was a struggle for me, but I knew that if I had thought differently, I would have wanted him to be patient and understanding of me too. Thankfully, it was a fruitful time for us to communicate our struggles with each other and when we were both wanting to move forward with the IUI, it felt right for both of us.

After our first round of IUI, we were able to get pregnant. I remember the phone call from my doctor and asking her to repeat what she had said to me, “You’re pregnant!” I continued to go to the fertility clinic every week for the first 12 weeks of pregnancy. Every week from week 6 to 12, I got an ultrasound before I started to go to my OB-GYN. Since the reason of the miscarriage was inconclusive, I have been going to the doctor every 3 weeks (which is a little more frequent that my previous pregnancies) and have been getting ultrasounds during every visit to monitor the baby closely. They have also been checking to see that I do not have cervical incompetence which was something that was considered as a possible reason for the miscarriage.

During my first trimester, I was extremely tired and experienced nausea throughout the day. Thankfully, I wasn’t throwing up, but I just did not feel great all day. Sometimes the nausea would lead to headaches. As soon as I entered second trimester, I started to feel much better. I haven’t had too many cravings (which Mr. Pizza was actually looking forward to) or aversions to food. For a while, I did really enjoy Jimmy John sandwiches and anything spicy. I even finished an entire jar of jardiniere all by myself during the first trimester.

While I have my share of worries during this pregnancy, I am so grateful to be carrying this baby. I can’t wait for the day that I can hold my sweet baby in my arms!

Hello baby! (20 weeks)