I have to start this by saying that I am slightly embarrassed at my reaction to this, it’s really not in my nature to make a big deal out of these kinds of milestones. But here we are, a few short weeks away from LeLe starting Kindergarten. And I am internally freaking out.
For some reason, the thought of her in this huge new school, with new kids, new teachers, new everything really freaks me out. I can picture her at the preschool and she was so comfortable there with people she loves and that love her. And now I am sending her to this school where I don’t know a single teacher and we only know of one other kid that she will know. I have not felt this much anxiety before in regards to her starting something new.
I think the biggest thing I am worried about is how she is going to get along with other kids. LeLe is a very social little person and she needs the interaction with others to fill her cup. I worry that she comes on too strong and that new kids will think she is too pushy or aggressive with her attempts to befriend them. And I worry that she will be rejected by the other kids, which will potentially break her little heart. And if I am totally honest with myself, I worry that she could potentially slip into a mean girl because she has a tendency to want to be popular and this sometimes equates to her being unkind and not thinking about her actions in relation to others.
I worry about her being able to navigate the halls of a school that is quite literally ten times bigger than her old school. This place is giant in comparison and I am worried that she will get lost or feel uncomfortable with being in a place that is so large and has so many confusing hallways. I’m worried that her teachers won’t like her or understand her. She loves all her teachers so much and she craves their approval, so this is particularly scary for me. And I’m worried that she will regress if this does happen. I’m worried that full days are going to be too much for her. She is still a little kid and 7 hour days sounds crazy to me. I’m worried about her riding the bus home from school. I’m worried about her eating lunch at school. I’m worried about seeing her less and having less time with her. I’m worried about so many little aspects of this transition.
I really thought this would be an easy one for me. I felt relieved that I would have one kid in full time school, which removes a burden of child care and transportation for me. But the reality is that this transition is bigger than I originally thought. When I picture her in this school, I get super sad because she is growing up and pretty soon she won’t be my little kid anymore. And she won’t adore me as much anymore. These life transitions where you are watching your kids grow up and thrive are the most bittersweet of all the moments. I want her to grow up and love life and be independent, but I also want her to want to snuggle at night and to want to tell me how her day was immediately when I arrive home. It feels like it is moving too fast for me, and I just want it all to slow down a little.
I know we will adjust and by Christmas break our routine will feel normal. It’s just now, with the unknown looming, that I am having a hard time. I wish I could protect her in a bubble of my love for her whole life, but these are the moments where that just isn’t possible.
pear / 1565 posts
Oh mama, totally share some of the same feelings! Esp mine has a late birthday and as confident and I am in our decision to send her, I def have my doubting days. My girl has the opppsite problem; she isn’t very social and likes/needs alone time, so I worry whether she will make friends too. And totally feel you on the general anxiety of starting anew when we had been so comfortable at her current school where she has been since she was 10 months old!
We have been so busy/chaotic this summer for me go REALLY worry but I’m sure I will kick that into gear closer to Sept!
guest
As a mom of a soon to be second grader I want to share my ahaha moment. When I was talking to my daughter before kindergarten she told me “mom, stop talking, you’re making me nervous.” She literally said that. I was projecting all of my worries and anxiety into her. So I stopped my thoughts and replaced them with “I know she will make friends” and “she’s going to have someone help her find her way around” and even “ I bet her teacher will think she’s as great as I do.” And I’ve never looked back-my hubby has helped coach me when I couldn’t figure out the wording. But no more worries. I start
clementine / 911 posts
My daughter is starting pre-k at public school in just a couple of weeks, and I have similar and different worries. She’s attending pre-k at the same school where she’ll attend for K-5, so I feel like this will be the bigger transition for us than kindergarten. I worry that going from a small daycare with 3 total classrooms where she’s been since she was 11 weeks old to a full-fledged elementary school with several hundred kids will be a tough transition for my sensitive girl who generally doesn’t like change. We do try to hype it up to her and only talk about the positives, and I do think that overall the structure and routine will be better for her once she settles in. It’s just the transition period that I worry about.
pear / 1622 posts
My LO is starting a new school in a few weeks and I am also anxious for both him and me but at the same time I feel like there is so much going on that I haven’t had time to get too worked up over it yet.
Definitely don’t think she will adore you less as she gets older. I loved my mom so much – as I got older that did not change. I know as kids get older it is different but she will still adore you.
pomelo / 5621 posts
I was on maternity leave for kindergarten and was glad to be there for these changes but it went pretty smooth with only four half days a week.
I’m more nervous for this September as DS1 starts grade 1 for full days and catching the bus to/from daycare to school. DS2 will be starting full time daycare as I’ll be heading back to work. This is all going to happen in a week time and it just makes me nervous/worried.
We are going back to the same daycare, so that does help some and I just have to keep thinking of the good & positive.
pomelo / 5084 posts
I am in it with you! My son is 3.5 and starting pre-k in a totally new school in a couple weeks where he’ll stay until sixth grade. I often think time is flying by and worry about “how much longer I have” when he snuggles me and wants to be with me 24/7
blogger / kiwi / 626 posts
I feel like I should clarify that I am not relaying any of this to LeLe herself. I am only using excited tones when talking with her, because despite being terrified, I am also super excited for her. And I can see that she is super excited too, which does actually provide me with some hope rather than dread.
blogger / nectarine / 2043 posts
I have so been there! LeLe sounds very similar to my daughter and I worried endlessly about her making friends. She’s very talkative, doesn’t have many boundaries or pick up on social cues so she can come off forceful. And she’s an only child so she doesn’t have to share space with anyone. And her mother is a major introvert who sucks at making friends.
Now that we’re on the other side of kindergarten, I can tell you with certainty that it will all be ok. On the first day of kindergarten, I literally paced the house all day until it was time to go get her. I worried she’d be bored, that she’d get lost, not eat lunch, not make friends, you name it. And none of it was true. She leapt with excitement, she couldn’t wait to talk about her amazing day, and pretty much every day after that was the same way. She got to know kids and yes, she had some challenges but they turned into great opportunities to talk about empathy and interacting with others effectively and managing disappointment and tough situations. This is very much a part of their learning journey and ours and you and LeLe will both do great.
guest
I felt the exact same way as you. I just couldn’t articulate it in such an eloquent way. Thank you for giving voice to my own feelings.
My daughter is now headed into first grade, and, looking back, I can definitively say that Kindergarten was so much better than we ever expected. I wish the same for you and Lele!