It’s amazing how much parenting has changed in just one generation. I’m from the last generation to grow up with an analog childhood and a digital adulthood, and you probably are too. When I was a kid, everyone played outside until the sun set without any adult supervision. Perhaps it was the internet that changed everything. Suddenly we had a world’s worth of bad news and things to fear at our fingertips, despite it being much safer today than it was back then. It’s not like this in some other countries though; the Dutch have a tradition of dropping their preteens off in the middle of the forest at night; in Japan young children run errands and ride the subway by themselves; in Korea I’d regularly see 5-year-olds taking the public bus to school by themselves. Then again, all those countries have much lower crime rates than the US. The UK seems to have similar attitudes toward modern parenting, and this article about a field trip gone wrong is my favorite example of how times have changed in one generation.
I had a lot of independence as a child, and it certainly wasn’t unique to me; all my friends did. I was left home alone from a very young age. I would rollerskate miles away from home in elementary school, and my parents never asked me where I went or what I did as long as I got home before it was dark. That freedom enabled me to take risks and understand my limits, as well as foster a lifelong sense of independence.
While I’m nostalgic for the good old days, times are different now. It would be illegal to leave my kids home alone in many states in the US, but in the Philippines it’s not taboo. We used to come to the island capital once a month to run errands, and it was so much work to drag my kids from stop to stop. So starting from when Olive and Charlie were about 5 and 7, I would leave them alone in the hotel room for an hour at a time. If anything went wrong, I told them to go to the front desk. They’re 8 and almost 10 now, and I occasionally leave them home alone to run an errand for up to an hour. I also leave them to eat alone in restaurants in the mall while I run errands, and let them go to stores alone to purchase something (clerks never bat an eyelash).
This chart with guidelines for leaving your child home alone suggest that a child between the ages of 8-10 can be left alone up to an hour and a half during daylight and early evening hours. Every child is different of course, and that needs to be taken into account when deciding whether your child is ready to be left home alone. Olive is a very mellow child that would never get into mischief while I was gone. Charlie hyperfocuses on whatever he is doing at the moment (reading, drawing, etc.), and always stays on his best behavior. They both also feel comfortable being home alone. I always tell them to be good, not to cook, to stay inside, not to open the door, and to go out into our yard (it’s gated) if there is an emergency like a fire. I think I will get Charlie a dumb phone though, so he’ll have family, friends and emergency numbers at his fingertips.
I want my kids to have at least some of the independence I had as a child, and I try not to worry too much, though I’m certainly not immune from it. My kids really aren’t so little any more though, and I trust their judgment. Talk to me again when they’re teenagers though. That’s when I became bad. 
What age were you left home alone as a child? When will you let your child be home alone?
clementine / 948 posts
Yes- I was left home in charge of my younger siblings by 9 yo (though just quick sub 1 hour errands). I was babysitting others in 5th grade, when I was still 10 (though my mom was right across the street, which I’m sure reassured the parents).
I’m not sure when I’ll leave the kids alone. I’m more worried about being labeled neglectful rather than any harm that will occur. My oldest is about to turn 6 and he’s verrrrry responsible. I’d see leaving him by the time he’s 10 and the youngest is 4. My main concern is the 15 month old – needs to get out of the constant danger phase
guest
We were just talking about this for our kids. We have an (almost) 10yr old, a 7 yr old, and a 2yr old. We’ve left them with big brother in charge for up to 15-20 minutes, usually when I need to leave and Daddy is on his way home from work. We’d feel comfortable leave our oldest two home while I went grocery shopping but the littlest is at the age where you have to keep a close eye on her, so really it’s only possible during her nap time.
We’ll probably wait until our son is 12 (and continues showing maturity/responsibility) before being going for longer periods.
pear / 1565 posts
This is still fairly far away from us as my oldest is only about to turn 5. But based on personality, I def feel like I’d be okay leaving her alone at some point in the future. I don’t know when I’d feel comfortable leaving both home alone!
pear / 1565 posts
@ChitownRo: I know, it’s so crazy I was baby sitting pretty regularly in middle school already, while I can barely think about leaving my kids home alone!
guest
I have done the same and lefty girls (then 7 and 9) in the hotel room in Tokyo while I did food grocery runs. I leave a cell phone with them so they can still contact me if needed. My oldest will text me and keep me updated. I do tell them to follow procedures in case of emergencies and to take the stairs. At home, I have to run out to pick up their sister so I set the house alarm and tell them not to answer the door period. Not to take showers. To touch the door before opening in case of fire, how to open the window and push out the screen in case of emergency (house alarm be damn of cos!). My girls are responsible so I trust them to be home alone for short periods. This is all done during the day only.