When Baby Y was younger, he would drop off to sleep whenever, wherever, like most newborns. The car. A restaurant. The floor. Our laps. The Boppy. It was wonderful, and the last thing I worried about was whether he was napping enough.
Around two months or so, I started paying attention to his sleepy cues and following Weissbluth’s advice: At no time should he be up more than two hours; oftentimes, in the morning, he would only make it an hour or so before he should be back asleep. He would conk out in his swing or Rock ‘n’ Play pretty reliably for at least an hour, and sometimes two or three! Easy peasy.
But then, around three months, his naps got shorter and shorter. Soon, they were only about 45 minutes long. I could set a watch by them – it was uncanny! He was getting a lot more alert, and I figured the swing might be too stimulating, so I started making sure he was in his crib for naps in hopes he would sleep longer.
While he didn’t fight the transition to the crib, his naps were still frustratingly short.
So I did what any frustrated new mom does: I turned to Google, and typed in “45-minute nap.” I was stunned to see how many other parents were struggling with this.
Adults’ sleep cycles are about 90 minutes, but babies’ are about half that. Yup, around 45 minutes. So if they can’t make it into the next sleep cycle themselves, they wake up – usually crying and cranky, because for most babies, a nap under an hour isn’t that restorative.
So, I had a tired baby on my hands. Sometimes he would need 4 or even 5 naps a day to stay in a decent mood. And aside from being concerned Baby Y was getting the rest he needed, I was going a little crazy. I often work at home, and his short naps made it hard for me to get anything done. I was desperate for a little more time, so I started researching possible fixes:
- Swaddle for naps. I was already doing this. Moving on…
- Use white noise. I was already doing this, too, though I realized that his Cloud B Sleep Giraffe had a 44-minute timer and was shutting off right as he woke up! I switched to my iPod and a speaker dock and used a white-noise track on repeat. It’s what we still use, but it didn’t extend his naps.
- Go to the baby immediately and try to soothe him back to sleep. When Baby Y still napped in his swing, sometimes I could sneak up to him when he stirred, replace his pacifier, and prevent him from waking up fully. Unfortunately, I had absolutely no luck soothing him back to sleep once he was in his crib.
- Try “wake to sleep.” Using this Baby Whisperer method, I would creep into Baby Y’s room about a half-hour into his nap, lightly poke him until he stirred, and either pat him or put light pressure on his body until he relaxed into the next sleep cycle. Honestly, I only made it a couple of days with this method until I chucked it. We have old, creaky floors that make “creeping” next to impossible, and all I really accomplished was waking Baby Y even earlier. It wasn’t worth the effort and the stress.
- Pick up/put down. Another Baby Whisperer method, I’ve used this with some success at night. I pick up Baby Y, shhhhh him, and put him down right after he calms, repeating as necessary. Unfortunately, during the day, it was just too stimulating for him.
- Shorten/extend awake times between naps. I fooled with them a lot, but nothing ever seemed to help.
Ultimately, what did work?
- Car naps. While he wasn’t napping as long in the swing, Baby Y could (and still can) take an epic 3-hour car nap. I try to do this only when he’s extremely overtired – I’m not about to drive him around for all of his naps! But it always works.
- Unswaddling. Counterintuitive, maybe, but as I found out when we unswaddled him, Baby Y likes to sleep on his side and sometimes his tummy. Toward the end of our stint with swaddling, he was probably getting frustrated that he couldn’t switch positions.
- Letting him fuss. In the early days, I went to his side at the first peep. These days, I can better distinguish sleepy groans and mantra cries (basically fussy moaning) – normal as he transitions between sleep cycles – from an escalating cry that means he is DONE sleeping and I need to get him.
- Waiting it out. Not exactly a method, but most babies are simply better able to self-soothe into the next sleep cycle as they get older. Over the past month and a half or so, I’ve seen definite improvement. Baby Y usually takes one nap of at least 1.5 hours – sometimes 2.5 – a day. It’s not consistent by any means, but it’s a definite improvement.
It’s easy to get obsessed with naps (or lack thereof) especially when your work/chores/showers/meals depend on them. For me, though, it was more exhausting trying to “fix” short naps than ultimately letting them run their course.
Any other short-napper tales out there?
honeydew / 7968 posts
i’ll have to try this at home! lol. when the time comes.
guest
Short naps are so common for most babies. It’s really great how you worked to try and help Baby Y to get the sleep he needs (he’s adorable by the way.) but to also find what works for you as well in terms of finding a place where you are okay with how he’s sleeping or napping. So often, many parents find that once they find some balance between helping their child learn to sleep better and being okay that it’s not perfect, then things naturally get better. It’s great that you outlined the different ways that parents can help their children learn to sleep but that you also list what has worked for you.
apricot / 453 posts
Baby Y is soooo cute. Our little guy naps for 2+ during the day, swaddled and in his swing. He takes short 45 minute ones if he is unswaddled or not in his swing.
clementine / 958 posts
My LO just turned 3 months and we’re suddenly dealing with the 45 minute naps. So far, nothing we’ve tried has worked. I’m at the point of just letting it run its course so that I don’t drive myself crazy.
cherry / 228 posts
Eli was always a catnapper.. then suddenly when he turned 14 weeks he started to take at least one long nap a day (>1.5hrs).. usually his first or second morning nap. it was great until recently when we unswaddled him- not sure if it’s coincidental or it’s b/c he is going through a developmental phase. he has trouble transitioning between sleep phases but we are slowly going back on track- today his longest nap was 2hr and 45 min with a brief 10 min wake up.
what really worked for us was waiting it out. we leave him in his crib for 20 minutes each time he wakes. more often than not- he is able to extend his nap. when we know he’s had his long nap, then we only wait 10 – 15 minutes.
i do think some babies are just catnappers and some improve over time.. like you said- i’ve made my peace with it and it’s made us both happier lol
cherry / 161 posts
Thank you so much for posting this, Mrs. Yoyo! We, too, are going thru this struggle, and it’s increasingly difficult because we have a 25 month old as well. I’m definitely gonna try the methods you outlined. Crossing my fingers for the both of us!
persimmon / 1255 posts
My LO went through the same thing and nothing I could do would get her to nap longer than 40 minutes. I was driving myself crazy trying to “solve” this until my neighbor with 5 kids told me that all her kids had drastically different sleep habits despite her raising/training them the same way. Some babies are just catnappers. My LO still takes two fairly short naps (45-90 minutes) but at least now I know it’s normal. Crossing my fingers that she’ll nap longer when she drops to 1 nap/day..
cherry / 207 posts
Thanks for sharing! At least Baby Y takes 45 mins naps! My Melody was well known for her 30 minutes nap to the dot. Unfortunately, only my mom who lives 8000 moles away was able to pat (with light pressure) and shush her back to sleep. We tried the same method but it was no go for us. She was just awful with naps as an infant and like Baby Y, may go for long stints only in her infant car seat on car rides. After she turned 1 and transitioned to the toddler class where they had nap time scheduled from 12-3pm that she finally napped for > 30 mins and even then, it was and still is usually 1hr 15-30mins till this day (at 31 months old). After she turned 25 months, I have been able get her to nap for longer durations at home in her own room with blackout blinds etc for 2 hours which is epic in our books!!
apple seed / 4 posts
My baby (4.5 months old) sleeps for 30 minutes per nap, sometimes less. Overall she is sleeping about 14 hours a day still, because she sleeps so long at night, so I’m not concerned about the length, other than the fact that it’s hard to get things done during the day! If her naps were longer, she would likely wake up earlier, and I’m really not a morning person.
grape / 93 posts
Thank you so much for this post. I feel like I could have written it myself! Except we aren’t at the ‘getting better’ stage yet and my baby seems to have a 30 minute sleep cycle. But everything you tried that didn’t work, I’ve tried too and it hasn’t worked for me either! I’ve been going crazy! I’m trying to relax more and wait it out but it makes for some very loooong days.
pea / 8 posts
Thanks for sharing your experiences! We’re still dealing with short naps, but things are hopefully starting to improve. Haven’t had much luck with nap extensions so we’re just going to wait it out. Some days he still wakes up after 30-45 mins, some days can be closer to 1 hr.
blogger / pomelo / 5400 posts
@katnip79: I’ve had the opposite experience! If he naps longer during the day, he sleeps longer at night. If he’s well rested, it’s easier for him to stay asleep because he doesn’t fight it.
hostess / wonderful grape / 20803 posts
Oh boy. He has been doing this for about a month (an is 4 months). We get one good morning nap and the rest are 30-45 mins. And I can only get him to sleep 9.5 hrs overnight these days. Tired baby.
cantaloupe / 6146 posts
Ah we are there again. I find if he wakes babbling, he does not need more sleep. If he wakes screaming he does. Sometimes I nurse him back to sleep mid nap (probably a bad idea!)
I will try some of your tips (LO is 6 months and been a wakeful baby since birth).
guest
I have a 1 week off 6 month old daughter who has been having 30min naps for months now, occasionally she could get through (would still stir) and have 1 hour 30ish, however, this could be at any time?!! Since stopping swaddling her the other week (was screaming and wouldn’t go to sleep in it) every nap is 30mins and wakes whinging, i have also tried all methods and none have worked, although not tried PU/PD as rocking her doesn’t even calm her, she is extremely alert and interested in everything, can leave her looking at her hands for about 20mins and seems fine!! i have days where get on with it and other a crying mess and get all stressed out!! I hope it will get better and that this isn’t it until she drops naps!!
guest
OH MY GOODNESS!!! I could have written this myself. White noise, doing that etc.!!! This post made my day I can’t even begin to tell you how much!
I took my 3 month old to the doc today to make sure there wasn’t an underlying problem (which there is not). I was happy to read that there is a light at the end of the tunnel of horrid 45 minute naps! Also happy to know that its not just me who is frustrated at not being able to do anything to change this pattern!
Thank you, thank you, thank you!