Today I thought I would share some insights into my new life with 2 kiddos. For anyone who has been there before, this is old news! But, for those people contemplating a second child or who have one on the way, I thought I would share some things I’m slowly learning as I go.
Hmmm. How can I make Mom’s life more difficult today?
1. Plan ahead
Obviously, right? But you have to plan waaaaaaaay ahead. Here’s an example: Paige had an important appointment at 12:30pm. So I wanted to make sure we were out the door at 11:50am to get to the appointment on time. That meant I needed to have Paige set to go at 11:30 (allowing time for spit up, changes, etc.) Well, Paige usually eats lunch at 11:30 so I had to be sure her lunch was served at 11:00. But, Noah’s feeding was going to hit at 10:30 (counting 3.5 hours from his last morning feeding). Phew!
I figured all this out early on in the day. While Noah slept after his first morning feeding, I got his diaper bag ready. Then between moments of playing with Paige, I got dressed, got my things ready, packed Paige’s things for her appointment, made her lunch and threw it into the fridge. Then I got her all dressed and by the time Noah woke up for his feeding, everything was pretty much ready.
Halfway through Noah’s feeding, I put Paige’s lunch out for her and sat with her while I fed him. Afterwards, I sat him in his little recline seat to let digestion happen, and put Paige’s socks and shoes on her while she finished eating. Then, I ran and put Noah’s little coat on him and into the car seat he went. The rest of us got our coats and bags and voila! We made it to the car right on schedule, and I made it to the appointment 20 minutes early at that! I had to plan and get everything in motion at 8:30am just to make sure we were at the 12:30pm appointment on time. But that advance planning prevented chaos and stress, so it was worth it!
2. Include both kids
When Paige was a baby, it was easy to just feed her when she cried to eat. Now, Noah cries to eat while Paige might be crying because she pooped at the start of her nap. Who to go to first? Well, I grab the baby and start the feeding and go upstairs to Paige’s room. I then talk to her softly for a moment to tell her that I will change her diaper once Noah has had some food. When I can safely do so, I lay the baby down and change her diaper quickly and tuck her back in. Then, out I go with the baby and finish his feeding elsewhere. This also works in the morning when he cries to eat at the same exact time Paige wants to get up for the day. She can wait longer in that case, so I bring the baby into her room while she plays for a while. It also teaches her all about waiting. When the baby wants to be held and have his awake time, but it’s time to play with Paige (for example, we are doing a puzzle together) I will bring Noah’s seat down to the floor so he can sit with us and watch. Paige loves including the baby in her activities this way, as long as I am there to supervise. Another way to include the baby when I need to do other things is to put him in the infant carrier (Baby Bjorn or Ergo Carrier as examples). I then can satisfy his wish to be held and get the pressing things done that need to happen right then too.
3. Use your time wisely
Like I’d said before, you need to plan everything in advance. You know an infant feeding will hit around dinner time? Prep the dinner at lunch time and refrigerate to make it quicker to prepare. Or, make the whole dinner during nap time and just heat it up come dinner time. Then, you can get all the dishes used to make dinner cleaned in the afternoon. That will give you less to do in the chaos of the evening, what with bath time, feedings, cleaning up toys, etc.
My first pocket of free time is in the morning after breakfast. Paige likes to play by herself for a little bit and the baby is usually sleeping. That’s when I run around and grab all the laundry, dirty burp cloths, bibs, etc. and throw a load into the washer. I then quickly get dressed in the clothes I put out the night before. (Let me quickly say that doing as much prep as you can the night before is a big help! You can set out stuff for breakfast, lay out clothes for the next day, pack bags, take your shower, etc.) If I have any more time at that moment, I quickly do the morning dishes and keep the sink cleaned out. You never know when you’ll need that sink for a sudden bath! I hustle around during my free moments to make sure those silly little chores are taken care of, so I can spend the rest of my free time relaxing and enjoying life! After all, the rest of my time is spent playing with and caring for the kids.
4. Make a list for success
My mother in law gave me a great tip: Sit down and make a list of the few things that MUST HAPPEN each day in order for you to feel like it was a success. Then, if you do everything on the list you can feel proud. If not, you can say that “tomorrow is another day.” I sat down and wrote out all the days of the week and put my MUSTS under each one.
For example:
- Mondays: Laundry load, dishes, prepare and cook dinner, shower and blow dry hair (usually right before bed), floss (I never floss and have made it a resolution for every day).
- Tuesdays: Pretty much the same as Monday, but no laundry unless needed. I add in “exercise routine” to the day. I also add in “blog posting and photo editing”. I can do more because Paige has more Early Intervention services that day, so people are here playing with her.
- Wednesdays: Same as Monday, but no dinner prep or cooking. Wednesdays we eat Monday’s leftovers! Time saved!!!
- Thursdays: Same as Tuesdays, but again, we’re eating Tuesday’s leftovers. More time saved and less dishes to do!
The point is each of us has a thing or two that must be done to keep the house afloat. We also have a thing or two for ourselves that we must do to stay sane. Showering, putting on makeup, or even just getting dressed. Make your list and stick to it. Then, if anything else gets accomplished you feel even more like a superstar.
These are just a few things I’ve discovered in the past few weeks that have had to happen to keep things moving smoothly. I’ve had some days where only one thing on my list got done. Oh well; you can’t plan for everything (sudden barf-fests or crazy terrible-two tantrums).
I wanted to share so you can see that more than one kiddo doesn’t have to be too stressful, as long as you put in the time to plan ahead. (It helps to have a baby who isn’t colicky, I will admit right off). I hope this helps anyone out there who may be worriers like me!
Have a great day my friends!
GOLD / apricot / 341 posts
Such great tips! We are getting ready for two under two (our first will be just under 20 months old when our second arrives in August) so it is great to get some advice on how to juggle two kids! Thanks!
olive / 62 posts
Do you have free early intervention through the state? Do you stay in the room the entire time or let them interact with her while you do other things?
blogger / pomegranate / 3201 posts
Oh my goodness, I’m overwhelmed just reading it! I’ve always thought I wanted my kids close in age, but it seems so hard to juggle everything!
hostess / wonderful honeydew / 32460 posts
Seriously. Feeling anxious just thinking about 2 babies! One is handful enough.
Great job juggling two babies, and thanks for the tips!
blogger / pineapple / 12381 posts
You are making me nervous! I’m not much of a planner and with LJ I don’t really need to be… she’s such a go-with-the-flow on the fly kind of girl…
Now I think my husband’s skills at planning are going to be instrumental at keeping us afloat! Thanks for sharing, I was definitely requesting a post like this! Like Mini Piccolini, we’ll have a 21 month old and a newborn. Gah!
pomegranate / 3053 posts
I’ll be there in about 6 weeks or less. I agree, good planning makes such a huge difference. I do that now so I don’t have to do so much in the mornings. My challenge will be how to get both kids ready to go to drive my oldest to preschool by 9:30am. I’m SO glad his class starts a little later. I guess we’ll see! Thanks for the tips!
pea / 21 posts
My family sounds a lot like yours! The advance planning helps so much, like acting like it’s time to leave the house any second when you have about an hour before you actually have to leave. It takes about that long to actually get out the door.
Also, it helps me and my family a lot to try to do activities together. Rather than just focus on my toddler, I try to see how my baby might enjoy the same activity. It sounds obvious, but sometimes they seem so different that it’s hard to think of doing the same activity together. Days that I do well with keeping them on the same page are good days!
honeydew / 7968 posts
thanks for the tips! i think that’s how i’m going to try and hone my parenting skillls (i have none at this point)…. just try and put together great tips i read online. lol.
honeydew / 7667 posts
Great job. That still sounds way stressful though!
GOLD / wonderful grape / 20289 posts
Wow, you’re amazing! Glad to have this information for when we have 2, it will be so helpful!
GOLD / olive / 65 posts
@thatwife: Yes, we have the free intervention through the state and the intervention through a company that deals with autism spectrum disorders. They interact with her while I do other things. I have to be home, but not always in the room. They do their work in the play room; I can hear from most other rooms what they are doing. I usually have to be available to make chocolate milk or look at a cool drawing she just did, etc. But it’s a little time where I can get a few things done around the house. Silver lining!
GOLD / olive / 65 posts
@Mrs. Jacks: No stress! The little one will just fit into the whole scene. Like a puzzle piece. You already have a routine going for the older one; you’ll just try to get the younger one to flow with it too (as best as you can). All the while, the older one will learn that Mommy can’t be in two places at once! A valuable lesson in learning about patience, right?
persimmon / 1465 posts
Omg. Do I want 2 kids?? Actually great post! I will revisit it ( and memorise!) If we are lucky enough to get KU again.
guest
I’m a momma of four (one is three, two are two, and I have a 3 month old). It’s all about planning. My mom friends all laugh at me because I am always early and they (most with one or two kids) are always late. I just laugh and tell them I have our mornings planned out( with extra time planned out for those two year old tantrum moments)