I’m opinionated. And stubborn. And occasionally single-minded. And I like to be the boss. If you haven’t already guessed it, “Let’s Compromise!” isn’t my favorite game to play.
I need to get over that, because during the next six months, Mr. Tricycle and I are going to be compromising a lot. One reason for all the compromising is because our backgrounds are really different. Here’s a synopsis of how our earliest years played out (I think it’s pretty easy to identify which one of us had a more “alternative” childhood).
Mr. Tricycle:
- Delivered at home by a midwife
- Placenta buried underneath a tree in the backyard
- Received no immunizations (and still has never had anything other than a tetanus shot)
- Raised as a strict macrobiotic vegetarian from birth until he left for college
Me:
- Delivered in a hospital by a doctor
- Placenta thrown away after delivery
- Received all scheduled immunizations as prescribed
- Fed all manner of rodents (Mexican Beanie Bunny was a house specialty), mammals, and fish as caught/shot by my dad, along with the occasional Oreo and a healthy dose of ice cream
Our early childhood experiences set us up for our opinions on having and raising a baby, but the lines aren’t always divided as you might expect. Stay tuned as we delve into decision-making (and inevitable compromising) about everything from diet and sonograms to delivery and immunizations.
What compromises between you and your SO does parenting have in store for you?
GOLD / pomelo / 5167 posts
Wow!!! those are complete opposites. Looking forward to seeing what you agree with.
DH and I have had pretty much a very similar path. So it was easy to agree on what we wanted to do and not do.
blogger / wonderful cherry / 21628 posts
Wow, talk about complete opposites. It’ll be interesting to see how y’all compromise.
blogger / nectarine / 2010 posts
Those are complete opposites! But your parents’ decisions are not your own, so I expect you all will be able to come to an agreement
I thought we were going to be doing a lot more compromising than we do, but we’re really on the same page more than I expected. Everything related to pregnancy and labor was 100% my decision and Mr. S supported me. I’m BF’ing so everything feeding related is my call too and I expect it will remain that way since everyone relies on me to eat around here
For all things health related we follow the AAP guidelines. I also think that because Mr. S spends so much time away because of his job, he follows my lead when he’s home. The consistency works for us and makes it easy for daddy to jump in when he’s home.
pomegranate / 3225 posts
wow, that is different! I’m definitely more “out there” than DH, but so far he has let me decide everything about our prenatal care (since I’m the one pregnant!). But yeah, I think having kids definitely will challenge any married couple to compromise!
GOLD / wonderful grape / 20289 posts
Excited to see how you compromised with these things! We were raised pretty similar which makes things a lot easier. I think one little thing we’ll have issues with is diet- I don’t eat pig and don’t want LO to, but DH does.
cantaloupe / 6146 posts
Yup…me and my husband are just about that different. Add to that completely opposite political beliefs, and I’m a city girl while he’s a suburbs boy who doesn’t understand walking for fun….
Sometimes the only thing we agree on is what to eat for breakfast (and even then I’m Jewish–so no bacon for breakfast, but you bet DH gets bacon when we eat out). It’s fun though–lots of compromises ahead for everyone. You can do it!
GOLD / apricot / 341 posts
My husband and I have pretty different backgrounds too. But I think that you can grow up in seemingly identical families and still have very different values and feelings about parenthood, or you could come from completely different backgrounds and find that you are really synched on the parenting front… My husband has been a strict vegetarian since birth and so we have a vegetarian home (I eat meat when we go out though) and have decided to raise our children vegetarian. That was sort of a deal breaker for him. But besides that we seem to have the same feelings about parenting so it hasn’t been a problem…
hostess / wonderful grape / 20803 posts
Wow, lots of compromising to come!
The biggest compromise for us has been on doing things/getting things for the “sake” of getting them or because other people do (newborn pictures, getting a swing for the baby, sterilizing things….all things he thinks are silly, but in the end I won on those….). Religion is also a hot topic – DH is atheist and even though I’m not at all religious, I was in favor of baptizing to keep the peace in my family. DH didn’t want to and I ultimately compromised (or will) on this.
blogger / pineapple / 12381 posts
Our only real difference is on religious stuff, but because Mr. Jacks is able to see things from an anthropological perspective, we haven’t had too many problems.
blogger / pear / 1964 posts
Phew! Religion is something we do agree on – it didn’t play a part in either of our childhoods and I can’t imagine it will play a role in our baby’s. One less thing to compromise about.