There is really something magical about the first cycle of TTC. Mr. Blue and I started counting down the days until June and dreaming about what it would be like if we got pregnant right away. We even talked about how fun it would be to tell his parents for his Mom’s birthday if it worked out the first month.
The first cycle is so full of promise, not marred by past disappointments. Will you be one of the lucky ones who gets that second line the very first month? Will you be parents-to-be in less than 30 days? Even though I have always assumed that it would take a few months for us to get pregnant, I couldn’t help but let a wee bit of hopeful excitement take over my mind.
We left for our last (hopefully) big vacation before we have kids right before my predicted ovulation date. We thoroughly enjoyed our time away from home and work, and it made most of the TWW fly by with only a little symptom spotting at the end.
Though I tried to force myself not to overanalyze my symptoms, I had two particular symptoms that were out of the ordinary for me. I got really tender in the boobage region, and heartburn decided to overtake my life. My hope slowly increased as these symptoms lingered and became more severe. Around 9 DPO, I actually thought, I’m definitely pregnant, because I never have either of those issues as a PMS symptom.
I tested at 10 DPO and got a negative. I was a little disappointed, but I knew it was still early. Unfortunately, a couple days later, I got another negative and knew that I wasn’t going to be blessed with a first-cycle baby.
As exciting as the first month TTC is, I have a theory that the disappointment is equally high the first cycle. Maybe it’s because I’ve never hoped to see those two lines before, but seeing only one line on those tests was a little like having alcohol poured over a hundred paper cuts. Melodramatic much, huh!? It was a quick burst of disappointment and sadness, with the first little hint of “What if we have problems getting pregnant?” thrown in there. I know in my head that it can take a year to get pregnant even if there are no issues. I know at 30, it might take a little longer than some of my younger counterparts. Knowing those things in my head and having my heart prepared for a BFN just aren’t the same, though.
Before Diablo showed up, I was prepared for it and just wanted to get on to the next cycle and try again. Trying to conceive is an emotional roller coaster, but I know that we have a baby somewhere in our future, whether it happens on cycle 2 or 20.
I’m now gearing up to start my second TWW soon, and I think I have a little bit more realistic perspective this time. I might, however, need to be reminded of that in a couple weeks when I’m praying for those two magic lines!
Was your first cycle BFN the most disappointing? How did you balance being excited but not getting your hopes up to high?
blogger / nectarine / 2010 posts
I was one of the lucky ones who got a BFP the first month that our timing worked out. When I lost that baby I became obsessed with every little symptom each month after that. The worst was after 4 mc’s when I was finally seeing a RE and then the BFP’s stopped coming. It was torture! However, I think that getting a few BFN’s makes the whole experience a little sweeter. Not too many though, maybe just one or two
Sending lots of positive thoughts your way!
nectarine / 2878 posts
It’s like you were writing about my own experience! Our first TTC cycle fell in late November, so I thought about how great it would be to surprise our family at Christmas with the news of a BFP…but that didn’t happen and I definitely felt a huge wave of disapointment even though we were just getting use to the idea of actually trying! My husband couldn’t figure out why I was so disapointed since it was just our first try, but there is just something about wanting to see those 2 lines for the very first time!! We were beyond blessed to get a BFP our 2nd cycle and I still can’t believe I am 29 weeks along!
wonderful pomelo / 30692 posts
Yes! My first cycle I was CONVINCED I was pregnant! I stopped drinking coffee, refused to have a glass of wine, and just was waiting until my period was late to test! And then Diablo showed up and it SUCKED!!!!
But I think my fifth cycle disappointment was the worst for me personally because I knew we hadn’t tried hard enough and I was dreading having to go into a sixth month of trying. Luckily though, six was the charm for us.
guest
I’m following along in your journey, cause I’m right along with you in everything. I’ve been trying since November 2011, with no success. So I will be hopeful for your BFP as well as my own. I try not to stress or think about it anymore in the hopes that will help things along.
GOLD / eggplant / 11517 posts
Aw thanks for sharing this! For whatever reason, I wasn’t super disappointed in our first cycle not producing a baby. I think the second cycle was a little harder for me. But for some reason reminding myself that every month it didn’t happen was more time to save up more money/get more prepared for the changes really soothed me.
blogger / pear / 1964 posts
There is something special about that first TTC cycle – so much optimisim. I blame it on Seventeen magazine, which had me convinced I’d get pregnant if I was in the same room as a naked boy. Good luck with cycle #2!
blogger / pomelo / 5361 posts
@highwire: Good point! I definitely comforted myself by saying that no BFP meant I would have at least one more month on the new job before I took maternity leave, which translates into probably have a longer leave!
@Adira: For some reason 6 months always seems like a milestone, so I could see a Cycle 5 BFN being veryhard to take. I am so excited about your BFP, though!
@Mrs. Stroller: I cannot imagine how hard that would be. Eek! It’s nice to know your story had a happy ending!
@lilyann: It’s so nice to know others have felt just like I do! Hope you have a happy and healthy last trimester!
@funnygal: Good luck! Maybe we’ll each have success this time.
blogger / pomelo / 5361 posts
@Mrs. Tricycle: Hahahaha! Love that! Seventeen and YM totally had me convinced if I just fooled around with someone there was a chance of pregnancy! Too funny.
blogger / nectarine / 2010 posts
@Mrs. Blue: Me too! Probably a very good thing – I’ll be making my children read those articles
wonderful olive / 19353 posts
Our first month of TTC was definitely my hardest since I assumed getting pregnant was a one shot deal. I didn’t know about ovulation windows and all the medical works of it. I even documented my symptoms daily only to eventually be greeted by AF. Blah!
cantaloupe / 6730 posts
The first cycle was the worst for me for symptom spotting. It’s weird how many things my body does considering I always thought I didn’t have PMS.
This last cycle (number 6) has been the worst so far. I think it was because there were quite a few people I knew that did get pregnant. So now on top of being sad because it’s a BFN, I’m sad because we don’t get to go through it all together.
pomegranate / 3716 posts
You expressed my sentiments exactly!
We are on our second cycle now. Last month, I was SURE I was pregnant and googled every, single, tiny symptom that might have been a sign of pregnancy. I also tested at day 10 with a BFN, but optimistically tested again on day 14. It was a let-down for sure!
hostess / wonderful watermelon / 39513 posts
Thanks for this! I think I will feel the same way if I don’t get a BFP after the first cycle!
pea / 14 posts
We are NTNT, but I was pretty sure I’d get pregnant as soon as I cam off the pill. Last month I was SURE that I was KU. I mean so.sure. I was planning to test the day after AF was due. When she showed up a day early, I was really surprised at how disapointed I was. We aren’t planning on actively TTC until next spring… but we may be bumping that up
blogger / wonderful cherry / 21628 posts
My first cycle I wasn’t that disappointed. Cycles 3 and 4 were the hardest for me. Now I’m in the tww of cycle 14. I don’t even bother to test anymore. I’m jaded!
blogger / pear / 1964 posts
@Leialou: It took three or four cycles, but then I stopped testing too. Jaded is a good word for it.
blogger / pineapple / 12381 posts
Lovely post!
coffee bean / 48 posts
The worst is I tend to get big mood swings right when I start to menstruate, so I started crying when I got the negative, even though I *knew* I was totally overreacting.
I literally just got my BFP this morning (2nd cycle)!!! I was tricked by the sore boobs the first cycle too, but this cycle my boobs were super sore for over a week straight, and I think they grew a cup size! Anyway, I think at the moment I feel like I’m still kinda waiting to find out that it was a false positive and my cycle will start again after all. The disappointment from the first cycle is definitely tempering my reaction…
Sending positive (pun intended) thoughts your way!!
blogger / pomelo / 5361 posts
@kirstkat: Congrats on your BFP!! That is so exciting!
guest
Wow!! I read this post and it was exactly like all of our emotions for the past 2 months. I’m so glad I’m not alone! Good luck this month!