When I was pregnant with my first, I was a lot more “by the book” with most things. I tried my best to stick to a pregnancy diet – no sushi, no oysters, no deli meat, no soda, and caffeine on an occasional basis. That was when Perrier (to help me curb my soda cravings), and the chicken breast sub at Subway became my best friends.
I was very careful about working out, doing only “light” exercises like prenatal yoga and the occasional elliptical machine (which I normally hate with a passion). I also made sure NEVER to lay on my back, even for a minute. I diligently practiced kegels like it was my religion. I never carried anything too heavy. I slept as much as I could because that’s what everyone told me to do. I read all the “right” books, and made sure I checked everything off my pregnancy checklist.
I’m now 26 weeks into my 2nd pregnancy, and all rules have flown out the window. I’ve had sushi multiple times, coffee more than I care to admit, soda whenever I’m in the mood, Italian BMT please at Subway!, and sunny-side up eggs daily for breakfast. My diet knows no bounds. As for exercise, I’ve been spinning my way through pregnancy without a second thought. I am constantly on the go with an active toddler, and I carry her often (to the detriment of my lower back). Sleep? What’s that?
Despite all the “no-no’s” I’ve committed, I’m feeling pretty good as I head into my third trimester next week. My doctor doesn’t seem concerned either. I enjoyed my first pregnancy a lot. I loved patting my belly, feeling the baby’s hiccups and kicks, and getting pampered by my slave (erm, I mean husband). I was in awe of my developing, pregnant body and wanted to cherish every moment. I diligently took weekly belly pictures, and proudly flaunted my newfound curves.
This time around, I didn’t spend as much brainpower “focusing” on my pregnancy because my time is so much more limited. Because I’m so busy, pregnancy seems to be flying by (for the most part). I haven’t even taken a single weekly pregnancy picture, and I don’t know if I’m a kumquat or watermelon this week either! Now that I’m entering my third trimester, I’m really hitting a wall. I’m not enjoying this pregnancy the way I did the first time around. Don’t get me wrong, I am so excited to be having this baby, and I’m so fortunate to be able to carry him. However, having been through all this before, I’m not as enthusiastic going through all this again.
Some days I just really want my old body back. I’m starting to feel bloated and lethargic, and even the simple task of bending down to put on shoes feels like a chore. I want to roam free without heartburn and backaches. I want to order my peppermint mocha without the judgmental stares. I miss sleeping on my back. I long to lay on the floor with my elbows propped, belly-down with my laptop. More than anything, I’m just so anxious to meet him already! I can’t stop wondering who he’ll look like, or if he’ll be anything like his older sister. I’m also praying he doesn’t come out with a huge Korean noggin like his dad!
13 more weeks to go, and I’m already counting down the days. Let’s hope the holidays keep me busy enough to get my mind off this!
Did your attitude/actions differ from your first and second (or third, fourth) pregnancies?
Differences Between Pregnancies part 2 of 11
1. Symptom Comparison by mrs. wagon2. Pregnancy, the Second Time Around by Mrs. High Heels
3. A Surprise Pregnancy: Physical Differences by Mrs. Yoyo
4. A Surprise Pregnancy: Emotional Differences by Mrs. Yoyo
5. Second Pregnancy Symptoms by Mrs. Hopscotch
6. My Different Pregnancies by Mrs. Checkers
7. Comparing Pregnancies by Mrs. Jump Rope
8. First Trimester: This Time vs. Last Time by Mrs. Confetti
9. Last time and this time by mrs. tictactoe
10. Pregnancy: My Second Time Around by Mrs. Pom Pom
11. Differences Between Two Pregnancies by Mrs. Rabbit
blogger / pomelo / 5361 posts
Even though this is my first pregnancy, I think I’m a weird hybrid of a first and second-time mom. I’ve had so many big worries this pregnancy than I would probably have had with a singleton, that I find myself breaking a lot of what I deem the “smaller” pregnancy rules. I drink caffeine pretty much every day without keeping up with exactly how much. I eat deli meat all the time (though I try to only eat it from reasonably respectable establishments). On the other hand, I’m so worried about the babies’ health and preterm labor that I don’t work out (even walking) nearly as much as I should, I try to lay down as much as possible, and I definitely over-utilize my poor husband!
grapefruit / 4669 posts
I miss laying on my back and belly! And I definitely haven’t followed the caffeine rule. Haven’t had sandwich meat, but I’ve had gyros from street carts, and I can only imagine the horrors lurking in those carts! But the meat was heated so it’s okay, right?
I think common sense is a much better guide than the super strict rules some people think we should follow!
pomelo / 5228 posts
At my old gym, there was a woman who took a spin class on the day (or day before?) she delivered her second kid. She took classes all throughout her pregnancy and always looked in great shape. She looked good coming into the gym afterwards with 2 kiddos too!
hostess / wonderful watermelon / 39513 posts
Wonderful post! I still follow most rules but I don’t beat myself up when I decide to indulge on a piece of rare cooked steak. My pregnancy seems to be flying by as well!
pomegranate / 3053 posts
Definitely! I did stick to some rules still but it was very hard. I ate horribly and not much veggies. I think my second will be a meat eater b/c of that. My oldest likes some veggies and all fruits but is just not a fan of meats. I think it’s b/c I ate a lot of that when I was pregnant with him. I drank coffee, ate rolls w/o raw fish in it, carried my toddler well into my third trimester despite horrible crotch pain from the pressure down there. It’s definitely much harder to eat healthy the second time around. I ate a ton of chips then and I’m still eating it. Yikes!
guest
I am 25 weeks with my second (1st is a little over 2) and this is me exactly! Except the taking pictures part. I lost all the pictures I took the 1st time so have been diligent this time around since I know I will want them to look back on.
guest
This is timely for me as I’m a few weeks pregnant with my second. I say a “a few” because I’m not really sure how many, lol!
I didn’t enjoy pregnancy the first time and I’m a little nervous about how it’s going to go this time. My 21-month-old has already learned the phrase “Mommy tired”!
I wasn’t too picky about rules the first time and I didn’t do photos. This time I actually feel like I want to try to enjoy it a little more. Hopefully my son will help distract me and keep me going.
pomelo / 5178 posts
I wasn’t nearly as obsessed with my second pregnancy but mostly because I didn’t have the time! I think attitude has carried over to parenting now, too, and I’m a much more relaxed and go with the flow momma this second time around.
hostess / wonderful honeydew / 32460 posts
I was a bad preggo during my first pregnancy. I didn’t drink caffeine, but I had sushi and sandwiches all the time.
This time around I’m more lax for sure.
Just about 5 more weeks to go and I can’t waaaaaait.
I’m so uncomfortable.
guest
I didn’t know about the no lying on your back rule. What’s that about?
kiwi / 537 posts
Totally with you Mrs. High Heels! I wasn’t the greatest rule follower the first time around and finding myself even more lax this time around. 9 weeks to go and I am so ready to be done.
olive / 62 posts
I think this phrase is used too often so I try not to say it very much on blogs, but DANG this post is a very brave one IMO. If I wrote something similar I would be ripped to shreds for weeks (in fact now that I think about it, I did write something a little bit similar about how we all take risks and shouldn’t get worked up about what other people are choosing, and was judged and attacked quite harshly for revealing what some of my personal risks of choice are).
Posts like these are so helpful because so many of us are so far from perfect (whatever that means). It’s nice to have someone admit that they aren’t doing things “by the book” either.
watermelon / 14206 posts
I agree. I’m almost 23 weeks into my second pregnancy, and I’m just over it. I’m enjoying feeling my baby girl move, and I’m really anticipating meeting her, but I’m really uninterested in being pregnant anymore. Part of it is impatience to meet my baby girl, but the other part is that I want my body back.
cherry / 187 posts
I have no idea if I’ll be this way with #2, but I suspect in some areas I may be MORE vigilant. I pretty much did everything by the book, but my daughter was born with a birth defect (small nasal passage which required surgery at 11 weeks) so I feel like I won’t be more relaxed the second time around. Boo!
blogger / eggplant / 11551 posts
@tororojo: I completely agree with the common sense approach. Everything in moderation! The one thing I can’t get myself to do is drink a sip of alcohol though, even though some people have said a glass of wine here or there is fine. That’s where I draw my line.
blogger / eggplant / 11551 posts
@Mrs.Someone: that’s impressive and inspiring! I was pretty much a dead fish in the last trimester of my first pregnancy, but who knows… maybe I’ll have more courage to do something like that this time around.
With that said, I think spinning is such a great pregnancy exercise more women should consider! I love that I can go at my own pace, and it gets my heart rate high enough where I’m breaking a sweat and don’t feel like I’m wasting my time.
I make sure the handlebars are pretty high so I don’t hunch over too much (I’m careful not to compress my stomach), and I also love that doesn’t add pressure to my pelvic area and joints since I’m sitting.
blogger / eggplant / 11551 posts
@Honeybee: I have a feeling that’s how I’ll be as a second time parent too. I was pretty diligent with abiding by a “schedule” and worried more than I should about creating “bad sleep associations”, etc. with my first. I pretty much never went to events if it interfered with her naps. Hopefully I’ll be more relaxed this time around and just go with the flow!
blogger / eggplant / 11551 posts
@chopsuey119 and @pipersmommy: you guys are so close!! Wish I was further along already, but at least being in my third trimester during the holidays gives me a good excuse to binge on all the yummy food.
@KC: they say that when you lie on your back, your uterus presses on the vein that returns blood from your lower body to your heart. Lying on your back for an extended period of time could interfere with the flow of blood and nutrients to the placenta and the baby.
blogger / eggplant / 11551 posts
@thatwife: That’s awful. I don’t know why fellow mom’s can’t be more kind to each other – we’re all just doing our best. I think the Hellobee community as a whole is very gracious and open-minded to different views, which I’m super thankful for!
pomelo / 5093 posts
@tipperella: That’s so sad! Was this issue liked to any action you took? Is there genuinely anything you can do differently next time? Even if not, I know that I’d feel responsible.
blogger / eggplant / 11551 posts
@tipperella: I can’t imagine! I would be more vigilant too.
Is she all better now post-surgery?
cherry / 187 posts
@sarac: nope, not as far as I know, but doesn’t stop me from wondering. Her diagnosis is very very rare. I would definitely be worried about having another issue though after what we went through. It sucks because I wasn’t worried the first time around! And yes, she’s perfectly healthy and normal now thankfully!
guest
Ha! So true. I am 41 weeks pregnant (yes, you can come now baby!) and despite running after a 2yo and setting up a business, I feel I am a better head space than I did the first time. No time to “enjoy and think too much” about the pregnancy, but no time to sweat the small stuff, make sure all the lists are ticked off and books are read which makes for sleeping better. I am so much more chilled. And fed
cantaloupe / 6206 posts
Not a statement against *you*, but against the medical community in general, I HATE that people feel pregnant women should only be doing prenatal yoga and the elliptical! There are a bunch of pregnant Crossfitters on the boards and I’ve done so much research about exercise and pregnancy…. women who do intense, weight-bearing exercise have better outcomes, shorter labors, gain less body fat, etc etc. I just wish the entire medical community could come around to updating this recommendation altogether, we’d all be so much better off for it! I know they have to be ‘cautious’ but I really feel like they are doing women a disservice here. Thanks for your post