When Mr. TTT and I first started dating, his parents were living in their guesthouse without electricity while they finished building their home, so we spent the holidays with my family for the first couple of years. Once we bought our house, we were excited to host holiday celebrations, but it was never as simple as inviting both families over, as each side wanted to have separate celebrations. Our families get along great, but with so many people involved who have different schedules for various reasons, it was difficult to settle on one date, time, and place for everyone to celebrate together.
A few years ago, once Mr. TTT’s parents were moved into their house, we started a tradition of celebrating the Saturday after Thanksgiving with them, and Thanksgiving Day with my family. Since Mr. TTT’s birthday usually falls close to Thanksgiving, he has always invited a few friends down to his parents’ ranch to celebrate with us. I love that we never have to plan how we will divide our time between our two families for this holiday, as we do the same thing every year: we go to my parents’ house on Thursday, shop a little on black Friday morning, then head down to Mr. TTT’s parents’ house until Sunday. Each family gets their own celebration and it’s always lots of fun!
This year was Liam’s first Thanksgiving and he had so much fun at both of his grandparents’ celebrations.
There were lots of dogs at Mr. TTT’s parents’ ranch – our two, my husband’s parents’ two, his sister’s new puppy, and our friend Paul’s dog, who is our dog Jackson’s brother. Liam loved watching them all play! He also got to help his dad blow out candles in the pie and play with his friend Stella.
In years past, we have spent Christmas zig-zagging back and forth from one family’s celebration to the other’s, but this year, since it’s Liam’s first Christmas, I’ve decided we should stay home. My family will come over to celebrate on Christmas Eve before they head out of town and Mr. TTT’s family will come over Christmas day. I’m looking forward to waking up on Christmas morning in our own home and not having to rush around town. Now I just have to decide what I’ll cook…
How do you arrange holiday celebrations? Do your families celebrate separately like ours, or does everyone come together?
pomelo / 5178 posts
In the past, we’ve always had Thanksgiving and Christmas at our house. Anyone who was able could come for Thanksgiving (and we’ve had both families over on different years), but we’ve reserved Christmas as a nuclear-family only holiday.
This year, we’re trying out something new, and if it works, it will be our new arrangement. We’re switchiong off each year so that one side gets Thanskgiving with us, and the other side gets Christmas. We’ll travel for Thanskgiving each year, but we’ll host Christmas in our own home. So, we went to my parents’ house this year for Thanksgiving; next year we’ll go to my inlaws’. We’re celebrating Christmas with my inlas this year, and next year my parents will spend Christmas at our house. Hopefully, this will give everyone more time together during the holidays!
wonderful olive / 19353 posts
Like your families, I love that there isn’t a headache with deciding with whom we should celebrate the holidays with!! We don’t have a set schedule, but make sure we spend time with both families sometime around the holidays whether it be the week before or the day of.
honeydew / 7504 posts
Ugh, I feel like Christmas is going to be a nightmare for us once baby arrives. All of our family is in our hometown – my mom and step-dad, my dad, and Hubs’ parents, plus all of our siblings, and all of Hubs’ cousins/aunts/uncles/etc. In the past, we’ve squeezed in visits with all 3 sets of parents, even if it’s over 1 or 2 days (because I work in a hospital, I often only get Christmas Day off). I DO NOT want to do that with a baby. As of now, we alternate Thanksgivings (one year with his family, one year we travel to Michigan with mine). That may be what we have to do for Christmas, now, as well. I’m not sure, but it’s going to be a pain in the ass to figure it out and “accommodate” everyone. Hubs’ mom in particular cannot seem to grasp the concept of spending a holiday with one family – even when we drive out to Michigan to spend Thanksgiving with my family, we have to stop over on Wednesday night for dinner.
blogger / wonderful cherry / 21628 posts
I haven’t spent any holidays with my family in four years because they live so far away. I’d like to change that next year.
blogger / pomelo / 5361 posts
Sadly, our parents live 10 hours apart, so it’s pretty much one or the other for each holiday. We rotate each year. This year, we did Thanksgiving with my family and will be spending Christmas with Mr. Blue’s family. Next year, it will be the opposite. Although, I suspect since it will be our little guys’ first Christmas, Mr. Blue’s family might come down to our house at some point to enjoy some of the “first Christmas” fun.
pomelo / 5791 posts
@littlebug: We have a similar situation. All of our families – both sides, are in the same town.
The difference for us is – we’re only one town away as well. That’s right. All of our families live within 5 minutes. This sounds like it would make it easy, however…it doesn’t.
Our families do not celebrate together (nor would they want to), but each expects we be there for everything, because everyone is close. It’s difficult…and hectic for us. I don’t know how this will change once LO is here.
Right now, we usually go to my families first (thank God), then his families afterwards.
cantaloupe / 6730 posts
For those of you who are having family over for the holidays, how was the request received? I’d love to be the host, but I’m worried that it wouldn’t be embraced by other family members because it’s something different.
honeydew / 7504 posts
@ValentineMommy: Yeah, we are not too far, but it’s 1.5 hours, so it’s far enough that we can’t really squeeze in all 3 sets of parents in one day without wanting to kill ourselves. This year, since we’re not allowed to travel after 12/10, we’re having everyone to our house for one big celebration. I’m willing to do it this year, but I’m not sure how I’d feel about it every year – it’s 30 people!
pear / 1672 posts
Uggghhh….I am dreading this next year. As of earlier this year, we now don’t live near any immediate family. My mother moved 1,000 miles away and out of the blue married someone who I am not a huge fan of. She also moved to an area that has very high travel costs during the holidays. My ILs live about a 4 hour drive away, which isn’t bad but they hate visiting us (although they don’t say it outright). For the past three years, we’ve done Thanksgiving at our place and my Mom (when she lived close by) and my ILs have had dinner here. We’ve gone to my ILs for the past three Christmases.
By next year, we’ll have a 7-8 month old baby. I know that I don’t want to travel for every single holiday for the rest of my life. I’d like make my own holiday traditions in my home. I have no idea what we are going to do. Thinking about this makes my head hurt.
honeydew / 7504 posts
@Grace: We basically said that on doctor’s orders we are not going to be home at Christmas, so if you want to see us, this is your only option. We were kind of mean about it, but I told Hubs I did not want to host 3 or 4 separate get-togethers. I think everyone understood this year because it really is due to my OB telling me we can’t be more than hour from the hospital from 12/10 on, but I think following years we’ll get more resitance.
pomegranate / 3414 posts
When DH and I were dating/first married we alternated holidays between our families Thanksgiving at one and Christmas at the other then switched the following year. After DD came we did Thanksgiving just us at our home and Christmas with my family. Last year we did Thanksgiving with my family and Christmas at our home but with a visit to his brother’s house which is only about 15min away. This year we did Thanksgiving day with my family and spent some time with his family on Black Friday, we will be doing Christmas at our house but might go to his brother’s house for an hour or two depending upon if his dad comes into town. Starting next year we haven’t decided but DH wants to do all holidays at our house; however it is the only time my extended family gets to see my LO so that is still under discussion.
GOLD / pear / 1845 posts
My Inlaws are in South America, which solved this problem.
blogger / nectarine / 2010 posts
We’ve been doing Thanksgiving here for as long as we’ve lived here – we go to DH’s family’s house and celebrate with the whole lot of them. For Xmas we alternate years. Last year we were here since M was just born, this year M and I are going home to my parents soon and will spend several weeks there since DH is away for a month. When he gets home he’ll fly to meet us, spend the holiday and then we’ll all drive home. We just end up being flexible based on DH’s schedule since he’s the one who never knows where he’ll be on any given day.
blogger / pomegranate / 3201 posts
@Grace: I was just nice about it, but also a bit insistent. I made it clear that we really wanted to stay home and would love to have everyone over to our house. Since we’re the only one with a baby, it worked out.
cherry / 119 posts
my husband and i are lucky that our parents live 1 mile away from each other! when we met that was the biggest shocker we found out about each other. for thanksgiving, we do lunch with his family and dinner with mine. for christmas, we do christmas eve with mine and stay the night at my parents’, and then christmas day with his. DH’s mom is moving to san diego soon though so it will be interesting to see what happens now!
blogger / pomegranate / 3300 posts
My family is in Los Angeles and my husband’s is in San Diego so we pick a place to be and stay for the whole holiday. We switch who hosts but both families come together. So I hosted thanksgiving this year but we are going to my in laws for Christmas. It’s kind of a pain to cart for kids and all their presents there and back but I know my mother in law likes to host Christmas sometimes.
bananas / 9229 posts
We don’t know how we’re going to manage holidays once there’s a LO in the picture…
We live in NYC. My parents are 4 hours away in NH, his parents are in MI (flight or 10 hour drive). His parents are used to him not being there for all the holidays whereas mine as still super needy (for whatever reason). I refuse to pack up Christmas/santa presents so I think our future plan will be to keep Christmas to ourselves, unless they want to come to us. And then the 26th through New Years visit one family, alternating. Maybe visit the other for Thanksgiving? Not sure yet.
blogger / persimmon / 1398 posts
It’s been really easy so far. My dad is always away on business for Thanksgiving, so my mom goes to some friends and we usually stay put and celebrate with my in-laws. (My mom has come to us a couple of times too) Christmas is usually Christmas Eve with his folks, then Christmas Day us, then the 26th-New Years with my family (since it’s a 6 hour drive) Next year will be interesting in that my dad will finally be retired and my mom is going to host Thanksgiving for the first time in 35+ years! The in-laws won’t take it well since we’ll probably just be home with our second, but whatever. They’ve had all the holidays until now, fair’s fair. (Man, I sound mean!)