Hellobee

Today the Bees offer their best tips on how to survive pregnancy!

My best tip would be to listen to your body and slow down when necessary. You may be used to running around at Super Woman speeds 24/7, but that’s not always the healthiest thing (for you OR the baby). If your feet hurt, you need to sit down. If you’re tired, you need to take a nap. If the laundry basket is too heavy, get someone else to lug it up and down the stairs. If you’re too burnt out to make dinner, order take out.

I’m used to pushing myself, even when my body says, “Enough!” I forced myself to do too much during the 3rd trimester, and only slowed down when my doctor ordered me to go on bed rest. If I had moderated my activity and started to ratchet things down on my own, I might have avoided the mandatory couch time.

My tip is very much like Mrs. Tricycle’s: listen to your body. So many resources inside of you are being taken up by growing this baby inside of you and sustaining the perfect baby-growing environment, so if you all of a sudden feel like you should sit or lie down, just do it. If you are craving a certain food (especially if it’s not a junk food item), go out and get it. If you feel like going to bed at 8pm and the laundry’s not done yet, just go to bed. A pregnant body is doing an incredible thing of creating something out of nothing, and you need to physically cater to yourself as much as possible.

Cut yourself some slack if you are feeling awful. I was so sick for both pregnancies, and I would see other pregnant girls who seemed to be able to do anything and I felt so lazy. But I needed to sleep 10 hours a day to survive, and I couldn’t walk more than a few minutes at a time by the end. It was okay and it was temporary. No one died because we ate frozen pizza for dinner again.

I’m still working on the “surviving pregnancy” part, but so far I would say my tip is to try to avoid comparing your pregnancy to other people’s pregnancies. Every pregnancy has its own challenges and our bodies react differently to it. Sometimes I can’t help but think about what other people can do at this point in pregnancy, how they feel, how often they work out, how big they get, etc. and feel like I must not be up to par. This ties into others’ tips about listening to your body and being kind to yourself. You’re growing a human (or two!) and there’s no one-size-fits-all manual that says exactly how it should go. The body somehow knows so much better than any book what it needs to get though each phase and grow healthy babies. My best friend always tells me, “Your body is working harder while you sleep than what most people do during the day.” I’m not sure if that’s true, but it makes it easier to be nice to my body and give it what it needs . . . even if that means going to bed at 8:00 for most of the second trimester, too!

Oh, and hiring a maid would be divine!

Ha … I think mine would be to step away from the pregnancy books and Google. Seriously, know the basics, know where to find all the serious “call your doctor if ____ stuff,” and then go about your life knowing that if you are taking care of yourself, that’s all you can do. And then start to read about parenting and breastfeeding and stuff. Far better return on your time than knowing that your fetus is the size of a kumquat.

Trust your instincts, avoid Dr. Google and try not to compare your pregnancy to others. Know the basics, know when to call your doctor, learn what foods and medicines to avoid, and be aware of your body.

1. Know it is hormonal. I had a lot of anxiety while pregnant. I became super detail oriented and worried a lot about whether or not I would be a good parent, etc. Pregnancy is a time where you naturally do a lot of self-reflection, but I really took it too far! Anyway, when I was at my worst I would shake myself out of it by reminding myself that it was the hormones talking. I didn’t really feel the way I thought I felt.

2. Don’t get obsessed with planning your birth experience. I am an obsessive planner and I tend to get really frustrated if things don’t look like I pictured them looking in my grand plan. I purposefully limited the amount of plans I made about birth. My only real goal was a healthy baby. I had some preferences, but they were very loose. I didn’t want to look back at my birth experience and regret how it went, so I didn’t set any expectations.

3. Not everything has to be bought before the baby arrives! I was obsessed with getting everything for the first six months before that baby was born. I didn’t need a bumbo for a newborn but I got one! Three months later I returned the unopened bumbo and I don’t know if I am even going to use an infant seat now. Don’t buy everything. Shopping for baby stuff is still novel enough now that DH and I do it for fun (that could be because we live 45 mins. from a Target and 1.5 hrs. from a BRU so we do it on date nights lol!).

Don’t stress about the little things and don’t set high expectations. There were so many times my midwife would make harmless little comments that I would read into and make myself crazy over! One time she mentioned nonchalantly during my prenatal appointment that my baby’s heartbeat was a little lower than it had been last time, but didn’t express serious concern. Of course I read into it and obsessed so much over it I made myself sick and had to be seen again by the midwife! I should have just trusted that if something was truly wrong, she would tell me (and she did, when there was an issue later on – totally unrelated btw).

As for expectations: I expected I would be a certain kind of mom and wife, I expected a certain type of birth and didn’t realize how I drove myself crazy attempting to live up to standards that I put on myself! Once I had the baby in my arms – none of those things mattered anymore!

These would be my tips for a first pregnancy…I’m sure they will change if we have another!

1. I would agree with Mrs. Sketchbook, but I would recommend trying not to become too tied to a birth plan. It’s great to have an idea of how you would like to guide your birthing experience, but as we all know, in pregnancy/labor & deliver/parenthood things do not always go as planned. Be mentally ready for anything!

2. Don’t wash and rip the tags off of all your new baby clothes! I received this tip from a friend of mine because she had regretted doing this. She told me how babies outgrow their clothes so fast, and her son didn’t even get to wear all of the clothes he received. I followed her advice and only washed the essentials; I held onto the other things, and if LO outgrew the size too fast I was able to exchange them for bigger sizes. I’m glad I followed this advice! Hand-me-downs are also great for when they are in the teeny-tiny stage!

3. I know the 3rd trimester sucks. Usually by weeks 36-40 most people just want the baby out! But…try try try to enjoy your time BEFORE the LO arrives because your life will dramatically change once s/he is here, whether you’re expecting #1, 2, or 3+. Before my LO was born, I was lucky enough to have my maternity leave start the same time DH started his summer vacation (he works in education and has summers off), so for an entire week, we went to go watch a movie in the theatre because we thought, “We won’t be able to do this for a WHILE after our baby is here!” It was so fun, spending those last few days out and enjoying our time together, and I’m so glad we did that. I think the next time around (God-willing), I will again try to enjoy the last few days together as a family of 3 this time. Life will never be the same again!

1. Expect the unexpected and try to keep a “go with the flow” mindset for your pregnancy and birth because ANYTHING can happen. Our bodies are unpredictable. Although I had a birth plan and was shooting for an unmedicated birth, I kept telling myself that it’ll be ok if that doesn’t work out. The most important thing was having both me and the baby HEALTHY and well.

2. Don’t compare your pregnancy/labor/birth to others! What’s the point? It won’t change anything and it’ll just make you feel down about yourself. There will always be those who have it better than us, and those who have it far worse. It’s all relative. Try to enjoy this time and focus on your needs and yours alone.

3. This is similar to Mrs. Checkers’ 3rd point. Do things you’ll be less likely to do once the baby is born. My husband and I tend to be natural homebodies, so it was easy for us to want to spend date nights Redboxing it at home, but we forced ourselves to go out instead because we can still Redbox once the baby comes! We watched sunsets at the beach, went to Disneyland, watched movies, tried new restaurants whenever we could, and just tried to make the most of the time we had left – just the two of us.

Remember that it will be over before you know it! I actually enjoyed being pregnant, but I know many people struggle with the change in their bodies and being physically uncomfortable. However, it is really such a short time in the grand scheme of things and, especially for a first pregnancy, it’s so special for you and your family.

1. Drink a lot of water each day, and then drink even more! I wish I’d been better about this early on, especially when my feet and ankles ballooned up. Once the swelling started I kicked my water consumption into high gear and the swelling (and discomfort) went way down.

2. Worry about the small stuff. For awhile, I thought I was a crazy person for caring about the tiniest details of the nursery – the right changing pad cover, making sheets that matched the design of her room, etc. But I’m so glad I did! The projects helped keep me occupied during my pregnancy (it was helpful for me to focus on these details instead of “OMG I’m about to give birth!) and after the baby arrived there was no way I could have thought/cared about the details! It was nice that everything was planned out and done beforehand so the only thing we need to do now is enjoy our time in the nursery.

3. Do a lot with your significant other – go out to dinner, go to movies, hang out with friends, have people over. Once baby arrives it’s much more difficult to be spontaneous!

I had bad bad morning sickness. Well into my second trimester, I was below my pre-pregnancy weight. My best tip for nausea is to hum while you are brushing your teeth. (It’s not perfect, but it helps. I’m not sure why it helps, but it does!). Also, taking B vitamins can really help with nausea. They didn’t cure me, but they did noticeably take some of the edge off.

Don’t sweat the critics. “Oh my gosh, you are so tiny” in the early trimesters felt like criticism and then “Oh my gosh, you are huuuge!” in the third trimester felt the same way. Ultimately, it’s best to get used to this as a pregnant woman, because it continues on when you are a mom!

1. Take naps – if you’re not sleeping well at night, then a short nap after work (or even during work) makes all the difference.

2. Watch what you eat – don’t go crazy with those 200 extra calories. Drink a glass of milk and have a very small snack, not a bowl of ice cream every night! I was so good and really kept up a healthy diet with few sweets until my 36th week. I wish I hadn’t just thrown in the towel with the healthy eating at the very end.

Don’t stress about your weight gain. When I was pregnant, I was so afraid I’d gain 50 lbs that it consumed part of my pregnancy. I would still eat but every time I took a bite I was afraid I’d gain 10 lbs, probably because I’ve had issues with my weight all my life. After my first pregnancy, I realized I stressed for nothing and I only started loving my pregnant self around 8 months, and I gained a total of 30 lbs. The second time around it was completely different; I barely gained weight yet it seemed I was eating more. I didn’t really worry about my weight since I knew (this time around) that my body did what it had to do. Well, I only gained 11 lbs the second time around and enjoyed my pregnancy so much better.

Yes you will gain weight, yes you won’t lose it all the moment you will give birth, yes it means your body will never be the same, but it’s not the end of the world – enjoy your pregnancy while it lasts.

It WILL end. All too fast. And you are so lucky and blessed to be pregnant. When you’ve been through loss after loss or years of infertility, you appreciate the fact that a child is on the way every single second. So, when the pain and sleepless nights take hold, remember how blessed and lucky you are. It helps.

1. I tried everything to help with the nausea — ginger tea, saltine crackers, acupuncture, seaband acupressure bracelets, preggie pops…. and the only thing that helped was taking vitamin b6 + 1/2 a tab of unisom every day. I couldn’t have survived both pregnancies without it! Talk to your doctor about taking this combo if you’re struggling with morning sickness.

2. Buy maternity clothes early on. I tried to be cheap and put off buying maternity clothes until I really needed them. But since I bought them towards the end of my pregnancy, I didn’t get much bang for my buck when I could have been wearing comfy maternity clothes all along!

3. Get prenatal massages. They are awesome.

4. Body pillows are lifesavers once you start getting really big and it’s uncomfortable to sleep at night.

5. Watch your weight gain. I know food is extra delicious when you’re pregnant, and I wasn’t immune to the sweet, sweet call of ice cream and fast food. I ate anything and everything I wanted without a second thought because being pregnant was the perfect excuse to indulge. As a result, I ended up gaining over 45 pounds when I was pregnant with Charlie, and I’m only 5′ 2″. By the start of my third trimester, I was ridiculously uncomfortable and couldn’t wait to give birth.

When I was pregnant with Olive, I gained 22 pounds and the difference I felt during my third trimester with Charlie vs. Olive was night and day. With Olive, I didn’t feel uncomfortable at all, went apple picking 2 days before she was born, and chased around a toddler the entire time I was pregnant.

Charlie was a pretty big baby for someone my size — 8 lbs 6oz — and I ended up delivering him via c-section after 3 hours of pushing because he was sunny-side up and I wasn’t making enough progress. With Olive, I had an easy VBAC delivery and she was born at a teeny 4 lbs 15oz (albeit 5 weeks early). I can’t help but wonder if I could have avoided a c-section with Charlie had I gained less weight. Even if I couldn’t have avoided one, I definitely know that I would have been much more comfortable in the last trimester with Charlie if I hadn’t gained so much weight.

~~~

What are your best tips for surviving pregnancy?