About a year before I got pregnant I penned a list of things I wanted to do, buy, and accomplish before we started trying for a baby. Yeah, I took my folic acid and charted and stuff like that, but these were the silly personal goals I held. Let’s see how I did:

10. Buy a new couch.
Seems odd, but at the time we had a set of ratty couches that were hand-me-downs of hand-me-downs that had seen us through undergraduate, graduate, and law programs! It was time for an upgrade and I felt certain we wouldn’t have the money post-baby.

9. Buy a new camera.
I wanted a better one than our mid-range point and shoot. Unfortunately I didn’t do this; the money just never materialized!  But my aunt came through and gifted me her DSLR a few days after baby’s birth. I am so grateful for it!

8. Save between 5,000–10,000 dollars.
This also didn’t happen! We bought a house and started paying back student loans instead. Good insurance made the actual pregnancy and birth part affordable, and very generous shower gifts helped do the rest.  But we are definitely in a season of saving right now and are watching every penny as we finish paying up all of Scribble’s medical bills. My husband says we’ll do breastfeeding for a year and BLW because we surely can’t afford formula or jarred baby food!

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7.Lose 10 lbs.
Never happened. In fact, I gained weight between drafting this list and getting pregnant! Watching my weight will be essential for pregnancy number two.

6. Take a beach vacation as a couple.
We did manage to find time for this while I was pregnant. I am so glad we got to vacation together one last time before becoming a family of three. I highly suggest saving up for a babymoon– even a short, overnight trip! The memories will be precious to you later.

5. Improve my golf game.
I wanted to find a hobby that didn’t include consuming anything– not cooking, travel, crafts or any other pastime that would expand my waistline, bend my budget, or increase the amount of useless junk I have around my house. I had a set of clubs, so I thought maybe golf would be the ideal hobby for me to try. Unfortunately I never really got into it. And now that baby is here I prefer to spend my down time with family and friends or simply resting (ideally with a book in hand!). Maybe when Scribble gets old enough to drive the cart I will pick this up again.

4. Buy an exercise machine.
I think my rationale here was fearing I wouldn’t be able to afford a gym membership nor have time to run to the gym after having a baby. Buying used cardio equipment would save me money and time. Still, I didn’t do it. So far I have had uncommonly good luck losing my pregnancy weight (I attribute this to nursing) and haven’t needed any gym equipment. But I still look around on craigslist for a steal on one!

3. Find a place to live.
At the time we were waffling on whether or not to rent or to buy. Ultimately we decided that buying was the best decision long-term, and at this exact (!) moment I am really happy with this decision. But I will admit sometimes my house feels like a second child!

2. Make photo albums of our pre-baby years.
It didn’t happen! And now I have added tons of baby photos to our already bloated hard drive. Reminds me of Jim Gaffigan (father of four!) joking about how we don’t buy photo albums now but instead just buy a new computer after we fill our current one with pictures.

1. Go abroad.
We actually managed to do this one! It seems pretty irresponsible, doesn’t it? To eschew savings and to put off more responsible purchases like a cardio machine so that we could spend money on a big trip abroad? But I will always have fond memories of our trip, even if it means living a more meager lifestyle now. I don’t see how we would have the flexibility to try a similar trip in the immediate future, so I am glad we took the opportunity while we had it.

Looking back on the list it seems pretty obvious; I did the things I wanted to do (Go on vacation! Twice!), and didn’t do the things I knew I should do (Lose weight! Save more money! Buy exercise equipment!).  Now that I am contemplating Baby Two, I am making a new list. Not surprisingly, some of the list items are unchanged. Things I would like to do before getting pregnant again (God willing!):

* Get back to my ideal weight before TTC. I have a few pounds left to lose from baby and a few more vanity pounds after that!

* Not be nursing. I want to know my real cup size, if just for a moment! I want to remember what it was like to wear a normal bra and to drink a beer without anxiety or guilt.

* Start saving more. We just aren’t saving enough, period.

* Factor giving into my monthly expenses. Right now we give intermittently when we are able to do so. I want to give a set amount each month.

* Close the gap in my work history. I haven’t worked since last spring. I love being an SAHM and am not eager to return to full-time work, but I would like to find some part-time employment to keep my resume from going stale.

* Earn my maternity rider. Right now we have a maternity rider along with our regular insurance so, yeah, it is essential that I wait 12 months from the time I picked up my policy before I become pregnant. Alternatively, I could find a personal plan that covered pregnancy, although those are hard to come by!

* Fix our backyard. Right now our backyard is an uninviting concrete slab and a swimming pool surrounded by an old fence. Before we have toddlers running about we need to make this space a safer and more enjoyable place for kidlets to play.

* Go on an adventurous vacation.  We love to travel and at times I have worried that having a child would prevent us from doing so. As a kid my parents took me all over the world and I want my children to have that opportunity.  I have drafted road trips of New England, Maine, and maritime Canada; another option would be a trip somewhere to the Pacific Northwest or the Caribbean.

Ultimately, though, this list is just like my last one. If having a baby is more important than ticking these boxes (and it is!), then a baby will happen first. Although having a baby does change your life completely, it doesn’t keep you from wanting or needing to set other goals. Body and house projects will still be there after baby two. And unless Venice suddenly sinks, we’ll still have the option of visiting later in life when our precious little ones have flown the coop! Becoming a parent is such a fulfilling experience that I don’t feel the need to accomplish goals the way I did before becoming a parent. So while I enjoy making these lists and seeing what I can achieve, I also don’t hold myself to them.

What’s on your list of things to do before getting pregnant?