Many people I know are doing Elf on a Shelf with their kids. I’d wager to say most people know what it is, but I wasn’t so familiar with it until recently. It has been billed as a grand Christmas tradition where one of Santa’s scout elves is adopted by your family. The elf then watches whether the family members are naughty or nice and reports back to the North Pole each night. Of course, being a mischievous elf, it is often found in a new position each morning and might even have done something naughty overnight.
The elf is fun in that it gives the parents a new creative outlet in the run-up to Christmas. Many parents also report that the elf helps keep their kids in line during the hectic holiday season. One of my family members is doing the elf and is having so much fun with the elf’s antics.
I thought that we had a couple of years to decide if we wanted to partake in the Elf on a Shelf “tradition” (around in the US since all of 2005!), but a couple of days ago our nanny asked if she could do Elf on a Shelf with our girls.
We had to quickly decide if the Elf was something that we would want to do as a family. We delved into the pros and cons before making the decision. As I dove into the history of it and the opinions of others, we identified some pros and cons.
Pros:
-Fun, festive creative outlet for parents who have the time and energy to be creative.
-A possible way to keep rowdy kids in line during the holiday season.
-A new magical tradition that many of our kids’ peers will be doing.
-Harmless activity that engages the whole family.
Cons:
-Some kids end up being scared of the elf.
-Emphasizes the whole concept of naughty and nice in a way that might be considered coercive.
-Requires parental time and creativity for those who might not have either.
-Some people characterize the elf as creepy.
-Could teach kids that being mischievous is a good thing.
After weighing the pros and cons and speaking about it with friends and colleagues, we decided that Elf on a Shelf is not for our family (though I have to admit that I live vicariously through friends and family whose elves have toilet papered trees, dyed the milk blue, baked cookies overnight and left flour everywhere).
We had already hesitated to even participate in the Santa tradition because we feel strongly that presents are not the focus of the season and because we prefer not to have our kids worry about whether they were good girls during the year. We ultimately decided that we would do Santa because it is such a ubiquitous US tradition that we didn’t want our kids spoiling it for others. However, we thought that we didn’t need to add yet another aspect of the Santa myth… especially one where the elf was going to be spying on the children to report their behaviors.
I still have mixed feelings about our decision because I think we could have great fun with it. Between our time restraints and our desire to keep Christmas simple, we ultimately said no to Elf on a Shelf.
What has your family decided about this and other common holiday traditions? If you haven’t yet decided, start thinking about it now, because the decision will be upon you before you realize it!
blogger / nectarine / 2687 posts
we said no to the elf on the shelf for all the same reasons…especially because i felt that it emphasized so much on “you better be good or you won’t get presents!” and that doesn’t sit so well with me because we try to instill in lil’ CB that it’s his job to listen and obey your parents versus listening and obeying because he’s going to get something material out of it.
plus, i always wondered about what happens on december 26 when the elf goes back to the north pole? do you have 11 months where it’s okay if you’re “naughty”?
coconut / 8234 posts
LO is still too little for Santa or Elf on the Shelf but that Elf scares the crap out of me. He reminds me of Chucky. So, that’s the only thing on my list: Does this Elf make me want to sleep with a knife under my pillow? Yes? Okay, none for me!
nectarine / 2085 posts
I don’t have a problem hiding a little elf or some other whimsical thing around for kids to find–scavenger hunts are kind of cool, after all!–but I would not be willing to follow the “rules” that come with the commercial elves.
I like Advent calendars, especially the ones with activities in them. We’ve been doing that this year, and I’ve been pleased with it.
blogger / pineapple / 12381 posts
I am so sorry to have posted such a light-hearted post on a day so full of tragedy. My heart breaks for the families of the children and providers who were killed in this senseless act of violence. Please hug your babies a little bit tighter and appreciate every moment!
blogger / pineapple / 12381 posts
@honeybear: we are doing an advent calendar and it’s been really fun.
coffee bean / 41 posts
We have an elf on the shelf and this year my sons are too young for it. But when we do it, probably next year, I just plan to have him do the little activities like you see him doing all over pinterest. Just have it be more of funny activity. But I don’t plan on doing the whole he’s watching you and going to tell Santa. I don’t plan on putting much emphasis on Santa at all, while we will still “do” Santa. As we are Christian I am going to put the focus on that, and giving and helping others.
Oh and I want to get an advent calendar too!
blogger / cherry / 247 posts
@ mrs jacks – oh i couldn’t agree more…i have been weepy all day about the news of those poor children and their families.
blogger / pomelo / 5361 posts
I think we will be doing Elf on the Shelf. I think it’s a cute tradition, but in addition to the fun, creative part, I plan to emphasize some character building by having the elf “suggest” ways our family could give back to our community, help those in need, etc to help teach our kids about what we think is most important about the holiday season. For example, one morning the elf might leave a note written in chocolate or something cute about our family buying gifts for a needy family.
@Mrs. Jacks: I am so heartbroken for everyone today. It’s just more than I can comprehend. I think this post is a good reminder, though, that whatever traditions you choose to incorporate, our kiddos are our most important priority and we need to snuggle them and love them at every opportunity!
pomelo / 5178 posts
We do Elf on a Shelf, but the more I hear about it, the more I don’t think we’re doing it the same way as a lot of other families. First of all, our elf does not engage in mischevious behavior. She might be hanging from the curtain rod instead of sitting nicely on the shelf, or she might be playing peekaboo behind some books, but she doesn’t do anything mischevious once she gets back from the North Pole. For one, we don’t have the time and creativity to plan and execute those deviant acts (as cute as some of them are!), and two, I don’t like that the elf is supposed to remind kids to be good but then acts out herself. That seems at odds to me.
Also, Santa in our house is not omniscient, so the elft is somewhat necessary. We also don’t explictly connect “being good” with receiving presents. Santa likes to know how DD is doing, and Santa brings presents at Christmastime, so I guess the connection is there implictly, but we don’t specifically state that the kids must behave to receive presents. We also talk about Santa throughout the year (not just at Christmas) so he’s interested in DD’s behavior all 12 months. This is the first year we’ve had the elf, but we’re considering having her make regular appearances after Christmas, too, to keep her involved.
@Mrs. Jacks: I didn’t hear about the tragedy until tonight when DH got home, but it just broke my heart. Just so tragic.
blogger / pineapple / 12381 posts
@Honeybee: I know :'( I’m processing and kind of at the anger/action stage. Today I joined the Coalition to Stop Gun Violence Action Network. I just can’t take it if any more little ones are hurt or killed. My heart is too fragile for that!
pomelo / 5178 posts
@Mrs. Jacks: I know; I feel the same way.
pomegranate / 3643 posts
I am turned off by having to buy something in order to do a “tradition.” Seems a little mass market manipulation to me! But the creativity is fun.
GOLD / nectarine / 2884 posts
@Mrs. Jacks: I know the feeling. It was hard even doing family stuff tonight…making dinner, celebrating the beginning of a weekend, plugging in the Christmas tree….on one hand I felt I wasn’t giving enough attention to these atrocities. On the other hand, it felt like an honor to the families to slow down, not go rushing into holiday obligations like we usually do on weekends, and just spend time together. We had to turn the news off at one point, it was too hard to see those images. I don’t know if that means we are callous or overly sensitive to this. It just feels terrible on every level. The poor babies. The world astounds me.
blogger / pomelo / 5400 posts
@jedeve: this exactly.
guest
I agree…we will not be participating in that new tradition either. The elf creeps me out!
coconut / 8472 posts
I’m glad I’m not the only one creeped out by the elf! My grandma has one from like the 60’s that she pulls out with all the other Christmas decorations and sticks it on a shelf. It has always seemed creepy looking, and I didn’t realize until recently there was all this stuff that you were supposed to do with it.
grape / 90 posts
I agree that the elf seems creepy… and it’s not for our family. Neither of us grew up with a strong belief in Santa Claus, either (he was a nice symbol of Christmas and we’d get a gift from “Santa”… but Santa had the same handwriting as my mom.
) so I don’t see us buying in to yet another mythical elf being.
Thanks for explaining that it started in 2005. I was wondering if I really just grew up in the dark ages or something!
GOLD / wonderful apricot / 22276 posts
We plan on doing it with LO when she is old enough, I think it’s a cute idea.
pomegranate / 3414 posts
We personally are not doing elf and probably never will (I find it creepy).
bananas / 9118 posts
Glad it isn’t just us who won’t be doing it in the way the book intends. I think the idea of an elf getting into mischief is cute, but am not a fan of using it as a spy/way to make kids behave. If the elf is allowed to get into trouble, how is that a good example for getting kids to behave? I would hope they are relatively good year round instead of just to get gifts!
If we do something similar to it later on when he is older, it will just be for fun and he can touch and play with the elf or whatever we choose… that way the elf can’t tell on us
squash / 13199 posts
I dont really get the whole elf on the shelf, I feel like its just one more lie parents have to keep up for their kids. How come santa isnt enough anymore. I also find it a bit creepy
blogger / persimmon / 1220 posts
My friend is doing this and has come up with some very creative ideas and I thought it was so cute and fun for her 4 year old (although we would probably never do it for our family)!
hostess / wonderful persimmon / 25556 posts
You didn’t know about the tragedy when you wrote this. End of story.
I don’t think we will do elf on a shelf. An advent calendar is enough for me. We do Santa, I just don’t think we need yet another make-believe thing for Christmas.