I’ve been “chasing the milk” for a while now. Since about November I’ve been pumping less and less each day – while a good day used to be pumping around 12-14 ounces during the workday (from 3 pumping sessions), that number was rapidly dropping.
This decline also coincided with my starting a new job, where not only am I not 100% comfortable in the designating “pumping room,” but I also had to shift my normal pumping schedule because the room is also used by another mom. Oh and, you know, fitting a few daily pumps in while also being new on the job wasn’t ideal.
Ok, let me back up a bit, as telling you what Baby H need per day will provide you with a little more context. Baby H eats 18 ounces via bottles between 8am-6pm while I am at work. I nurse her morning and evening. To meet her needs, I had been pumping 3 times a day at work plus a pump first thing in the morning. That could usually get me 18 ounces. To give us a little extra, I would always do morning pumps on Saturdays and Sundays to get an extra 10-12 ounces that we’d use during the week if I ever came up short.
This had been working until November, right around when Baby H was 7 months old and I changed jobs, as I described above. When I began pumping less I tried my best to boost my supply. I stayed extra hydrated. At my oatmeal for breakfast. I regularly took my More Milk Plus supplements. I tried to relax and think happy thoughts while pumping. And I just kept on telling myself I needed to make it another month. Another week. Another day.
Because of the Thanksgiving and Christmas holidays and other random vacation and sick days I took during November, December and early January, we were able to maintain feeding Baby H only breastmilk. Any day I was home with her was a day I was able to nurse so we weren’t reliant on milk for bottles. I’d begun only pumping twice a day at work because, quite frankly, I didn’t pump very much more with a third session, and eliminating one session helped me manage timing with work meetings.
But by mid-January, when Baby H turned 9 months, we were struggling to make it. I was lucky to pump 4 ounces during the work day and my “first thing in the morning pump” was only yielding 4-5 ounces (instead of 6). So we decided to regularly give Baby H formula. She’d had it a handful of times when she was smaller, but this was the first time we were making it a regular part of her diet.
At first formula was just one of her three daily bottles and I was trying to make up the rest. But one day I was at work pumping and seeing barely anything come out. And I started to wonder why I was driving myself crazy trying to do something that just wasn’t going to happen for me. Baby H had a fabulous 9 month run of exclusively being fed breastmilk. I knew I had wanted to make it 6 months, so 9 months was a huge personal achievement. And most importantly, Baby H has continued to be happy and healthy. Whether she receives formula or breastmilk or a combination of both, she’s doing great.
So with some advice from some fabulous moms I know, I decided to implement the following plan:
- I nurse Baby H morning and night, as always (I don’t want to give up that time with her).
- I pump once during the day at work to keep my body in “milk making mode” for morning/night nursings. I don’t worry about how much I pump during that time – all that matters is that I do pump.
- I leave my pump at work! (this is huge for me because I’ve been commuting on the train with my pump every day for 6 months!)
- Baby H receives all formula while I am at work, except for 1 bottle every few days when I have finally pumped enough between multiple work pump sessions.
- I rejoice in the newfound freedom this allows: I no longer lug around a pump, I can occasionally do things in the evenings (I couldn’t before because we never had enough milk in the fridge, so I always had to be home to nurse), I get to SLEEP IN on the weekends instead of trying to pump before Baby H gets up, and the stress of keeping up with demand is completely gone.
Even though so many happy, healthy babies are formula fed for all or some of their babyhood (including me!) I had a lot of guilt in the beginning of making these changes. I was mad at myself for not trying harder or giving up too soon. But I have finally been able to let those feelings go and just relax, because the decision to just let things go has made a world of different in my daily life. I’m happier. I no longer resent my pump or want to throw it off of a building. The anxiety of opening up my fridge and wondering how little milk we had has completely gone away. I am no longer “chasing the milk!”
And, most importantly, Baby H loves me for being me, not for how many ounces I can pump in 15 minutes flat! She’s getting so big, and I know she’ll only continue to grow and thrive with the formula.
Have you had a similar experience with trying to pump enough? How did you handle it?
apricot / 457 posts
THANK YOU for this post. It’s like you’re writing my life right now – I am still chasing the milk right now and I’m just exhausted. And for the first time yesterday I left pump parts at home and almost cried and had to hand express and it was just.so.awful. I’m just holding onto this irrational guilt that I’m doing something wrong if I quit now even though I’ve exceeded my goal of 6 months. But I’m going to definitely think of this post as I slowly wean my LO. Thank you!
GOLD / pineapple / 12662 posts
Yes! This is exactly what I am going through right now. *sigh* I have tried everything you tried, and I still find myself never being able to pump enough to cover all of my LO’s daytime feedings. (Initially, she had one bottle of formula to cover her third feed during the day.)
Now, at 5 months, I have decided that once I get to 6 months, I am going to stop pumping during the day (my work schedule is demanding, and people are constantly trying to see me (knocking on my door) during pumping sessions . . . not great for output!) and just nurse her in the morning and at night.
To accomplish that goal, I have started putting a little formula in all of her daytime bottles (the ratios of BM and formula that she is receiving are the same, however, they are just arranged so that instead of all BM or all formula, she gets a combination of each in each bottle), and plan to gradually increase the amount of formula so that by the time I quit pumping, she will be used to formula (she would sometimes leave a lot in her last bottle–the all formula bottle).
So far, she has completed all of her *combo* feedings like a champ. I am still trying to deal with the guilt that I feel for *quitting*, but something has to give . . . and I *should* be proud of myself for making it this far! But nothing ever feels quite good enough for our LOs, does it . . . I always feel compelled to do better, no matter what impact *better* makes on my life.
But less stress for mama is a good thing for my baby girl and my DH! I am just taking it one day at a time.
Thank you for sharing. (((hugs)))
persimmon / 1026 posts
Definitely relate to this! My supply started to tank when my LO was 4 months and I felt very guilty when we started supplementing with formula. He continued to get a mix of breastmilk and formula over the next couple months and I felt so much less pressure! I enjoyed nursing him in the mornings and didn’t feel so attached to the pump. Breastfeeding became something enjoyable for us instead of being stressful. I think it helped me even more after I decided to wean him at 6.5 months – we made it way past my initial goal of 3 months and the slow, gradual change of moving him over to formula was less worrisome for me.
persimmon / 1472 posts
9 months is an awesome run and you should be super proud!!! I had the same issue with a new job and pumping less, so I dropped pumping altogether. I nurse DD morning and night, and we are burning the last if the freezer stash mixed with whole milk. Once the stash is gone she will be on whole milk only during the day but I will continue to nurse morning and night until she self weans. It’s hard to give up our special cuddle time!
clementine / 828 posts
Thank you for this post! My supply started to tank around 4.5 months when I got my period back. He gained minimal weight between 4 and 5 months. I was so worried about his weight gain that I started to supplement with formula after every nursing session. I did everything to try to increase my supply in the meantime, including drinking tons of water, eating oatmeal everyday (even though I hate oatmeal), pumping after every nursing session, pumping again before going to bed, taking more milk plus supplements. Nothing I did was increasing my supply enough to stop supplementing. I was so miserable because my life was consumed with increasing my supply and I was so stressed out all the time and wondering if he had enough to eat. Slowly he started to need more and more formula and at around 8.5 months, he refused to nurse entirely and that was the end of my breastfeeding journey. I felt a lot of guilt and felt like a failure. But since I started supplementing, he’s been growing wonderfully. I slowly realized that as long as he was growing and happy, that was what really matters. Now, I’m a better mama because I’m not stressed out all the time and pumping instead of playing with him.
GOLD / squash / 13576 posts
Thank you for this post! My supply to plummeted when I started a new job, when LO was 6 months. It got to the point where the pumping sessions (LO around 7.5 months) weren’t worth the milk I was producing, so I talked to DH and we decided to start weaning LO. I still breastfeed in the morning but we do formula at night. I tried to boost my supply as well but the work stress was killing me and my supply. LO is 8 months now and it’s so much nicer not being stressed over pumping.
nectarine / 2054 posts
Thank you for this post, it is very helpful for me! I will be going back to work when my son is 6 months old, and I hate the thought of pumping 3 times a day at work. I haven’t built up any freezer stash, and can barely manage to pump enough for the times I’m out of the house during the week/weekend. I love the idea of nursing in the morning and evening and using just formula during the day. Now I just need to get my son used to the taste of formula!
coconut / 8279 posts
YES! our experience was very similar. I felt like I was always coming up short, trying to be the best mother and best employee. I had enough freezer stash to keep going until 11 months with morning/night nursings and that freedom from not lugging around the pump, dressing for pumping, scheduling everything work related around it, etc. – SUCH A GOOD FEELING.
coffee bean / 43 posts
THANK YOU so much for this. It’s exactly what I needed to read this morning. I just returned to work 2 weeks ago, and LO is 4.5 months. She needs to take 15 oz while she’s away from me, and I can only produce 11-12 with 3 pump sessions at work. I have to pump at night after she goes to bed and hope I can get 3 more ounces to make enough for the next day. I have enough in the freezer to help make up the difference for any I can’t pump during the week, but that will run out eventually.
I feel like I’m drowning – between pumping 3x at work, making sure I am eating and drinking enough, and adjusting to a new job, I am exhausted. I feel guilty because we were doing fine when she was just nursing, and so I blame myself for having to return to work and not being able to nurse her all the time.
This post makes me feel so much better, and like I’m not the only one going through this. Other moms on the boards post that they can easily pump 20 ounces in a work day, and I feel like I’m failing.
We are going to try to hold off on the formula until 6 months, but after that we may be making some changes.
hostess / wonderful watermelon / 39513 posts
Great post! I had to stop pumping/nursing when LO was 9 months because I was pregnant and I had a lot of guilt about weaning her. I had a lot of pumped milk in the freezer but I also supplemented with formula so we could stretch out the stash! It felt great to leave my pump at home!
GOLD / wonderful pomegranate / 28905 posts
I am currently going through this exact same struggle. My period has also returned and my already low supply is plummeting. It has taken me on occasion in the past week 40 minutes to pump 4 ounces.
I’m hoping once my period is gone my supply will bounce back. As it is already we supplement. I really really really hope to make it to a year. But like you I am taking it one day at a time.
blogger / nectarine / 2010 posts
I’m not struggling with not being able to pump enough since I was able to amass a huge freezer stash with a morning pump that got me an extra 6oz every day pretty consistently for the first 9m. But since I dropped my work day pump at 12m my supply has dropped off significantly and now at 14m I think Little M is starting to wean because there’s not much milk. Last night he didn’t nurse on the right so I pumped and barely wet the bottom of a bottle after a 12 hour hold and a 23 min pump. I send him with 2oz of fresh milk every day and over the past week haven’t been able to keep up with even that. 18m was my goal so this is really tearing me up. I’m not finding much support for the sadness I’m feeling.
pear / 1837 posts
Thank you for this! I have been struggling with my milk supply since I started back at work when my daughter was 3 months old. She’s now 6 months, and we have used up all of the freezer stash. She’s doing okay with about 12 ounces while I’m gone from 7 – 4, but I am pumping 4x at work and my off days to try and keep up with that. I have thought about giving her formula now that we’ve made it to the 6 month mark. Honestly, this has been the most stressful part of motherhood so far!
pomegranate / 3225 posts
Good for you for making it that long! I recently did a back to work trial run and holy crap it was so insanely hard! I see now why people start with formula when they go back to work!
blogger / pomegranate / 3201 posts
Great job doing what is right for your family.
@Mrs. Stroller: Your comment makes me sad. I’m sorry you’re not getting the support you need. I’m both looking forward to cutting out pumping sessions soon because Liam is almost 1 (!) and also sad that it means he will probably wean on his own not long after. If I didn’t have to work I’d probably nurse much longer and avoid any other milk as long as I could. It’s normal to be sad when nursing ends. Not only is it a big adjustment in caring for a baby, but the hormonal change is significant. Hugs.
blogger / nectarine / 2010 posts
@mrs. tictactoe: Thanks, I needed a hug.
guest
I felt a lot of guilt when I quit pumping at 8 months. The first couple of weeks after I stopped were really hard for me. Then one day it hit me. I was soooo much happier without the constant stress of pumping. Happier, less-stressed, more able to enjoy my life and my baby. Although I couldn’t realize it at the time, I think stopping pumping actually made me a better mom. (Not saying this is true for everyone but it was very true for me.) Without that stress I was able to really enjoy my son more and also enjoy my time away from him. Eliminating this stresser was very important for my postpartum mental health. When I mentioned this to my husband he wholeheartedly agreed. Sadly, I feel like that’s something we as moms are not supposed to admit.
guest
I had twins last March… I never had enough for both 1 got 50pumped/50formula and the other nursed exclusively. After my good nurser quit nursing at 4mos from a bad bout with thrush, they both were getting 50% formula, 50% BM. That was fine as it was the best I could do. Then we lost my son Emmitt to SIDs @5mos… My son Sully got 100% BM for the rest of last year except the occasional formula if I had a drink or went out, or had low pumps for some reason…. We were planning a trip away form my son in January and also were TTC so I quit pumping completely. I had guilt, but I am convinced our attempts TTC in December were thwarted by lactating and I would have been a basket case on our trip trying to pump while being a bridesmaid that I am happy I quit. My Son was nearly 10mos so I think I did well considering the year I had. I am happy to report we are pregnant again and I hope that I can nurse longer this time, though I got into a great groove with pumping. It just became really difficult when my son started cruising and walking ay 9/10mos and I’d need to pump while watching him alone in the mornings. I felt like I could have been giving him something more valuable during our time together—playing with him instead of confining him while I pumped. You did great mama! Do what works!
grapefruit / 4923 posts
thank you for this post–i’m only 3 weeks into motherhood, but i have a feeling this will become an issue for me when i go back to work. great job on making it to 9 months with that intense pumping schedule (not to mention lugging it around)!
guest
With my daughter I put enormous stress on myself to exclusively breastfeed her and lasted until about 9 months before giving her formula and 13 months until she weaned. I was miserable – constantly worried about how to increase my supply, whether she had enough for her day at daycare etc. With my son my supply dropped after a work trip at 4m and I stopped breastfeeding shortly after. It was absolutely the best decision I have ever made. I’m happier, I get to spend time with both of my kids without worrying about feeding, my husband can truly parent as much as I do, etc. I completely believe that if a mother is stressing about breastfeeding, the benefits gained to her health and her relationship with her children by moving to formula far exceed any miniscule benefit of breastmilk.
guest
When I returned to work after 12 weeks, I noticed a dramatic drop in what I pumped over the first few days. To get enough to feed my daughter for the next day, I pump at night after she goes to bed, and again in the middle of the night (she nurses on one side, and I hand pump the other). I’ve been lucky enough to keep my supply up since then, but she’s only four months old, and I’m nervous about being able to maintain it. It such a battle for women who can’t exclusively nurse.
honeydew / 7968 posts
I never really felt that I could make enough, so my kids were always supplemented and I always felt like I was chasing milk, especially nowadays. I am proud that I made it 10 months and for like 7 or so of it, they’ve been on only about 1 bottle a day of formula…. Now, I know my supply has decreased, but luckily, they r eating solids so I don’t think it’s as much of an issue, they r still growing! I canNOT wait to retire my pump! I am weaning them off at 1 year if we even make it that far.
guest
I had decided early on that 6 months was my exclusive breastfeeding goal. This meant pumping 2-3x per day at work. The guilt can be overwhelming when you know you CAN produce the milk your baby needs but the demands of your job make it increasingly difficult to find the time some days. At 8 months I dropped to one pump session and started supplementing with 50% formula during the day. At just after 9 months (last week!) I stopped pumping altogether. Funny now, in retrospect I almost wish I would have dropped to one session mush sooner although I’m glad I got as far as we did and plan to continue night and morning nursing sessions until he wants to stop.
guest
I faced hormonal imbalance and a huge drop in prolactin and as a result my period started and milk supply dwindled around 6mo for my son. My energy was low iron low and I felt guilty about it. I was a mess! I had postpartum thyroiditis. http://www.thyroid.org/postpartum-thyroiditis/
pea / 14 posts
I feel ya, mama! I ended up not even going back to work, but still my milk supply dropped when my periods started back up. It was also about this time that my dd’s attention span started waning during nursing sessions…nothing could keep her focused on eating for long periods of time. I started worrying that she wasn’t getting enough during each feeding, and so I started pumping like a crazy person and feeding her pumped milk in the bottle. At least that way I knew she was getting an adequate amount. I nursed during the night, and occasionally during the day if I felt certain that I had enough milk for a full feeding. As a stay-at-home mom it was difficult pumping all the time; I felt I was either always hooked up to the pump or cleaning pump parts. I can’t even fathom how trying it must be for working moms to pump enough. I made it just past my one-year goal, and we’ve finished weaning this past week. It was totally bittersweet. When my milk supply first dropped, I was devastated and felt like a failure, especially since I felt I had no excuse: I was at home with baby all day long….how come I couldn’t keep that milk supply up?? I was glad I could keep up with her needs through pumping until she was a year, but some days it was so tiresome to hook myself up for yet another pumping session. I will miss breastfeeding my girl, but I was not sad to put the pump away.
hostess / wonderful persimmon / 25556 posts
I’m doing the same thing now. I got the stomach bug a few weeks ago and since then, my supply has tanked. I don’t get enough for a bottle in each pump session. Because I’ve been sick on and off since M started daycare, I never got into a pumping at home routine either. I’ll pump at night on the weekends sometimes if I want to get a little extra in the fridge for her. It’s been over a week now and I’m still not seeing an increase in my supply. I’m afraid to drop a pump at work because I’m afraid I won’t have enough for her in her morning and evening nursing sessions. I didn’t realize breastfeeding was going to be so darn stressful.
My 8 month old goes to daycare with two bottles of breastmilk and one bottle of formula now. She also gets a bottle of formula when she gets home from daycare and then nurses before bed. I don’t mind giving her formula but I will mind when I’m unable to provide those soothing morning and evening nursing sessions anymore.