Hellobee

We’re such a muddled mix of cultures that I wouldn’t know where to start. The Trikester is 1/2 Polish, a 1/4 Italian, 1/8 Swedish and some Dutch and English. It’s sad – I wish we had cultural traditions to celebrate! I think unique traditions are probably stronger/easier to celebrate if your family is first or second generation American. All our “cultural” traditions at this point are just “American” traditions. Kinda boring.

Grrrr this topic is one that I enjoy but also drives me absolutely bonkers.

@Mrs.Tricycle, you do have cultural traditions to celebrate, as you said your cultural traditions are American traditions. If they are boring or not that is a subjective thing so I won’t comment on that. What exactly is wrong with American traditions if you are American? By your definition your LO is a melting pot, celebrate that how awesome is that? American Culture is not less worthy than any other culture.

I myself am 3rd generation a mix ¼ of each Italian, Polish, Croatian and Russian. Our traditions incorporated foods from everywhere including American dishes in our celebrations because it was nice to include references to our history but also to include our current culture. For New Years the food tended to be Eastern European influenced because we were with my Dad’s side of the family (Croatian and Russian) and was heavy on things like Kielbasa, sauerkraut, potatoes etc, but included soups that would be more American in nature. For Easter it was a Polish and Italian food day since we were with my Mom’s side of the family, kielbasa, pierogies, babka and pizza chenna for all, plus we went hunting for colored Easter eggs.

Certainly the family’s roots will play an influence on things, but by and large our current culture will play a larger role in their life. The reason is simply because this is where we live and we choose to look at history and see how it informs our choices, but we don’t reject our current situation to live in the past. Being part of this American culture is important and that means celebrating the American in us and that includes blending of traditions from everywhere, you know the melting pot thing and embracing the similarities that bind us as a nation. This does not mean you need to reject or ignore differences, but to be a cohesive community/nation I think it is important to celebrate the one-ness of the nation as main fabric of your life, but enjoy the accessories of the various cultures that played a role either in your personal history or the family history.

I struggle with this, and DH and I don’t have kids yet. I am of Polish and Irish heritage, but my family has been here many generations. DH is from Ecuador, and I don’t want their Ecuadorian heritage to get lost, especially since DH isn’t really into celebrating those cultural traditions himself. I want to incorporate Carnaval, Holy Week, and Day of the Dead activities, but am at a loss as to how to do that since DH doesn’t care that much. I guess that’s what google (and MIL) is for!!

What a great post. I really struggle with this too. My DD is Japanese, Taiwanese, Polish and Nigerian ethnically. But she is also British and American depending on how you want to look at it. I was born and raised in England but my parents are Nigerian. DH was born and raised here but his folkas are Polish, Japanese and Taiwanese. I don’t really know how to give her a bit of everything without completely overwhelming her.

Not being American myself, I also struggle with the American side of things. So much to think about.

I feel ya! DH and I are both Asian but not the same kind of Asian I feel that it is very important to teach our kids the languages and cultures, but DH doesn’t necessarily think it’s a priority. I found a public Chinese language immersion school in the city, but we would have to move for the kids to go there. We plan to send our kids to weekend Chinese school (ah the memories of going there every weekend as a kid), but since we don’t speak at home, I’m not sure how helpful that will really be! The best we have come up with is to spend some true immersion time by living overseas for an extended period of time, but the time to make those decisions is fast approaching since DD is about to enter the school system. Love the pics of your DD, she is adorable in her qipao!

We have a lot of cultural challenges ahead of us!
Our first daughter is 5 different ethnicities, the traditions of some which have been maintained for generations… but which also morphed from being many generations of immigrant New Yorkers. Is immigrant Brooklyn a cultural heritage? I think it is!

Our second daughter is second generation Filipino (her dad was born there), black, and Native American. We don’t want those cultural links to be lost, so she’ll be joining a Filipino dance class when she’s older and will also do African American heritage activities. Finally, we are working on getting her tribal card. Fostering her comfort in all her different traditions and groups is very very important to us!

I really enjoyed this post! We’re coming at it from a different angle (obviously), but the desire to keep our LO’s culture alive is very strong. We not only focus on Korean traditions, but we also try to highlight the blended Korean-American family that we are. (Food, for us, is the easiest way.) We’re no stranger to the concept of kimchi on top of hot dogs, and have just discovered Korean Lobster rolls… We celebrate Lunar New Year, but his pouch contains just a little money and a little sweet… We mix in some Korean words with English. Lots of little things that hopefully add up. Down the road, we hope to try bigger, more obvious inclusions of the culture. We’ll see how it goes!

In our journey, we’ve found that the most important thing is to be flexible. We try things, and understand that it’s ok if it doesn’t stick. (I should have a post up later this week on our thoughts on this, ironically enough!)

This is such a huge dilemma for me and I’m still pregnant! I’m 1/2 Chinese myself and our baby will be only a 1/4. I feel like having him/her (don’t know gender yet) grow up without speaking Mandarin will basically cut them off from my Chinese relatives. I adore my grandmother and can’t imagine my children not being able to speak to her! I’m really struggling on how to do this though. My first language was Mandarin, and my sister’s first language was English. When we both speak Mandarin, you can really tell…

I’m struggling with this. I’m a Northern Euro mutt of Irish, Dutch, and English descent (probably more stuff, too), but I don’t see any distinct traditions from any of those ethnicities in my upbringing. DH is second-generation Asian Indian American, and it seems more important to me than to him that our kids learn Urdu and about their cultural traditions. I think part of the problem is that second generation kids are often more concerned with fitting in with other American kids than with their roots (which I totally understand). DH has spent his life trying to shake the assumption that he isn’t “really” American, and that means he feels a great deal of ambivalence toward those things that make him feel “other” or different. It kind of breaks my heart. I’d love to celebrate Eid, make traditional Indian foods, help my kids learn Urdu, etc. so that they have an experience of their Indian side, but DH has to be on board to do that.

This is something that I’ve been thinking about as well. I am an adopted Korean with a primarily Polish/Italian family. My husband is Italian/French. Biologically, our children will be half Korean and a quarter Italian & French. I really want my future children to learn all the wonderful traditions of our European families, but I also think it is very important for them to know about their Korean side.

My parents had tried to incorporate Korean culture when I was young, but it was difficult since we lived in a very rural, white area. Growing up I was actually scared of other Korean people because I thought they might reject me since I couldn’t speak the language and I didn’t know all the customs. When I finally began to get involved with the Korean community (courtesy of my best friend), I still encountered many Koreans that immediately criticized my lack of Korean language. They would reprimand me and say I should learn more like my friend (who is Korean-American). When my friend explained I was adopted and learning, their tune changed completely. They were super encouraging and friendly, telling me I was doing a good job and to keep learning!

While I am still in the TTC stages, I know I want my child to learn how to speak Korean and celebrate Korean holidays such as Chuseok and Seollal. I want to have a Dol for them and get them a hanbok (even though I don’t even have one or know where to get one!) The problem is that I have a complete lack of Korean resources in my area and I worry that they might miss out. I speak conversational Korean (enough to be polite) but I want my kids to be fluent in both speaking AND writing.

I’ve just realized I’ve been rambling so I think I will end this here. Thanks for reading!

First of all – I LOVE the topic of this post as I think so many more and more couples face this challenge going forward! I would LOVE to see more of these kinds of blog posts!
Second – How ADORABLE is Toddler Heels in her Qi Pao! Love it!
I’ve already been able to witness first-hand how a lot of our friends and families have tried to pass down these mixed cultural traditions to their own LOs and I have to say I’m always impressed and encouraged that we CAN do it too! DH is much more of a “we’re in America and it’s a lost cause…they won’t speak it, care, etc.” But I see our half-nieces and half-nephews dress up, learn at least a few traditional sayings and greetings, and they think it’s fun! My friends with kids of different Asian backgrounds try to teach the same sayings in both languages. Wear one outfit with one family and another outfit with another family. In this way, I think the kids get a great benefit of experiencing 2 cultures!
For us, as you know, we live in an area that seems like it will be really easy to keep our kids exposed to their culture and language. But since we don’t speak the same dialect to each other at home, my goal will be to speak my dialect to the LO as much as possible, movies and tv shows for kids in Chinese, take them back to both our parents’ native countries as much as possible, and just keep them aware of their cultures.

Thanks for this post! I too struggle with this topic as I am half Chinese so LO will be one quarter – I would really like to be able to incorporate some elements of my Chinese heritage into our child’s life similar to how I was raised yet realize it may be difficult since I am somewhat removed from the culture – for example while my grandmother was still alive we would attend many events with the Chinese side of my family, with my parents we do these things far less – plus I never learned beyond a few phrases in Chinese so language is not something I feel I can pass down.

@Mrs. Tricycle @Mrs.Maven @MediaNaranja @plantains @T-Mom @Mrs. Jacks @Mrs. Paintbrush @vnvdvci @shopaholic @dojo @natalie @michelle: Wow, thanks for sharing your own struggles and fears – I loved reading everyone’s comments and it’s given me more to think about too!

@shopaholic: I should email you the Chinese immersion school I was looking into. I went on their fb page and there are a lot of mixed kids and kids from other ethnic groups (not just Chinese) that go there. Starting from 15-months and up they have “mommy and me” classes. I’m grateful too that the area we live in is ethnically diverse and exposure to Korean and Chinese culture shouldn’t be too difficult to come by. We’re certainly not lacking in the food/restaurant department!!

@Mrs. High Heels: Thanks for the wipes info! That immersion school sounds cool! And yes, we are definitely NOT lacking in the food department – our LOs should be able to grow up eating anything!

I love this post as I directly can relate to it. I am 100% Chinese, and I often think about how important it is for my children to understand the culture and history behind our traditions. I grew up in San Francisco 1st generation, and my parents were fairly modern… we practice many of the traditions but I don’t even think I understand why. I think my parents just wanted to give me the best they could (as all parents would want) and being immigrants in the US and trying to balance that all meant explaining the WHY behind what we DO was not top priority. Now, as I raise my children 2nd generation, I think this is more top of mind for us… we have the awareness, time and interest to want to introduce our children to this. I’ll be speaking Chinese to them, having them spend time with the grandparents and doing what you do… send them to Chinese immersion school. One of my mommy experts does that with her children. They only speak Mandarin in the house, the nannies only speak mandarin, and she sends them to school. I think once you make a decision that this is something important to your family, you’ll make it happen… and your children will be fortunate to know what it’s like to be raised not just American, but Chinese American