It once seemed so far away, but now it’s staring me in the face. I go back to work on Thursday. It’s Valentine’s Day and also the Trikester’s 12-week birthday. Most importantly, it’s two days before February break; I’ll work Thursday and Friday, and then I get a week of vacation (and a paycheck) – if only my real work schedule was two days on, one week off!
Even though I get to ease into life as a working mom, I’m still terrified. I don’t deal all that well with change as it is, but I’m even more pathetic when I’m sleep deprived. I’ve already got a box of tissues in my work bag to handle the tears I’m anticipating. Specifically, here’s what I’m already stressing about:
1) Making enough milk. Other than two bouts with mastitis, our breastfeeding relationship is relatively stress free; when the baby is hungry, there’s milk available. I’m not so sure it will work that way once I’m not home during the day. One issue is knowing how much expressed milk the baby will actually need. I used the Kelly Mom milk calculator to guesstimate the Trikester’s requirements, and I’m hoping it’s accurate. I’ve got three days worth of bottles stockpiled in the fridge, and a convenient place to pump at work, so there’s not a whole lot else I can do right now.
2) The baby’s well-being. Mr. Tricycle took two days off of work and will stay home with the Trikester when I go back for my mini-week. He’s super competent, but he’s never spent eight hours alone with the baby, so he’s understandably apprehensive. The biggest potential problem is soothing Little Man when he goes on a crying jag. I’ve come up with some strategies that seem to work, which I’m going to teach Mr. Tricycle, but he can’t implement the most efficient method – nursing. Then there’s the whole issue of daycare following February break, but that’s for another post.
3) Working while sleep deprived. I love my job, and I’m good at it. I have a reputation for going above and beyond, and I’m not so sure I can keep that up once I get back to school. I take a lot of pride in my work, and I’m going to be disappointed in myself if I have to drop the ball more often than before.
4) An adequate work wardrobe. I gained 38 pounds during pregnancy (and it was not because I had a big baby – I just ate too many cookies), and I still have to drop 15 pounds to get back to my pre-pregnancy weight. This means the vast majority of my clothes don’t fit correctly. A large portion of my wardrobe was built around fitted button downs and tight sweaters – the scary increase from an A cup to a D cup means nothing’s buttoning and those tight sweaters are bursting at the seams. I’ve lost just enough weight that my maternity clothes are starting to look silly. That leaves me with approximately four outfits; I can either repeat the same thing every week, or look like a plump sausage. It’s a toss-up.
5) Caring for a baby after working. If you’ve never taught, you probably don’t understand how physically demanding it is. Compared to desk jobs I’ve had, teaching requires me to perform all day long. It zaps my energy and I feel drained after especially trying days. Before baby, I’d order take out and crash on the couch– now I’m going to have to come home and continue to “work.”
Of course, there are benefits to heading back to work. I’m pumped to see my friends and colleagues every day – I’ve really missed adult interaction. I’m also thinking I’ll enjoy having a little break from the baby – since giving birth, I’ve been caring for him pretty much non-stop 24/7. Even with these benefits, I’m still dreading the return. I guess I’ll find out soon enough if my fears were unfounded! Wish me luck!
What were your worries about returning to work after maternity leave? Were they unfounded?
blogger / apricot / 424 posts
Oh I am right there with you. My little girl has jut turned 6 months but I am becoming more and more aware that in September I am heading back and have no idea how to go above and beyond in everything. I too am a teacher and to say our job is physically and emotionally demanding it an understatement. I think about those days when I used to come home and sink into a warm bath after a very rough day ( I work at a school for behaviour children ) and just shut off. They are long gone that is for sure!!! I am sure we will find our way in the long run but my is it daunting to think about it!
grapefruit / 4671 posts
I am not a teacher, but DH is and I know it has been tough for him to leave the house as early as he used to because he wants more cuddle time with DD.
I went back to work a month ago after 6.5 months maternity leave and it has been pretty good. Busy, hectic and crazy but I feel so much more alive and really enjoy time at home with LO so it is all worth it.
blogger / pomegranate / 3201 posts
1) It will be hard, but you can do it. I started only pumping twice a day at school, but I wasn’t making enough, so I added a session right after school before I left. It works out well because the traffic is so bad immediately when school lets out anyway, so I don’t get home much later.
2) It will be an adjustment for everyone. This is related to #1 because many caregivers will give the baby more milk when he is fussy and there goes your freezer stash. Try to encourage your husband and they daycare providers to use other methods of soothing the baby besides feeding him.
3) It is hard and I forget things all the time, but that’s just part of being a mom,
4) Can you buy some cheap transition pieces? I love stores like Old Navy and Target for cheap, on trend pieces during those in-between stages.
5) This is actually not as bad as I thought it would be. I am just always so excited to see and play with him after work that I only crash after I put him to bed. I definitely had the same fears because teaching is just so exhausting, but I usually am fine until about 8pm when I hit the wall.
Good luck!
guest
Your fears sound so valid! I worried about all the same things. My little one is 9 months now, and we’re in a good groove… but going back to work was terrible hard on me. It took a while to feel good about the return and transition. I’ll be thinking about you. You can do it! Remember why you’re working – its good for your family. I think the emotional stress was the worst, and the worry about pumping, breast milk, how much milk to leave, etc. The good thing is that your husband will be home and he is smart and capable and knows your child.
He can also be trusted to give you a good idea of how much milk the baby is going to need/want on a daily basis. Also, how much you’re able to pump will be a good guide. I think when I first started around 12 weeks, I sent about 4 – 3 ounce bottles to daycare. It hasn’t changed much since then, breast milk is kind of amazing. At 9 months I send a small snack and 4 – 3/4 ounce bottles of milk. But do be aware that some babies will drink very little the first few days you leave them, and then they may drink a whole lot on a few days, especially if they are home with an endless supply in the fridge. If you suspect your supply starting to dip and notice you’re not getting enough the answer is to pump, pump, pump. Stimulation is key, and even if you’re not getting anything – you’re putting in your order for the next day. Your body is amazing. Good luck!
blogger / nectarine / 2010 posts
I remember the feelings so well. I went back during my company’s spring conference, which is two weeks from now this year. I’ve got anxiety thinking about how I felt last year!
You’ll do great with #1 and can pick up a pump before you go to bed each night and on the weekends to catch up. I ended up amassing a stockpile this way thanks to a tip from a pumping friend. And #4…but some new clothes. I was in the same position, except I think I had 20lbs to go at 12w and boobs so big there was no way I could wear any of my tops. Just a few new pieces of clothes (on sale, even better) made me feel so much better about myself. And getting rid of stuff I knew would never fit again (hello tax deduction – if the IRS comes knocking this year I feel like “I had a baby” is the perfect excuse for why I donated 150+ pieces of clothing in 2012!)
blogger / pineapple / 12381 posts
You are going to do great! The first day was really hard, after that it got easier quickly and then I realized that this was good for me (and her).
blogger / persimmon / 1220 posts
Good luck to you!
I too had many worries about returning back to work. I think in the last week leading up to my return, I cried every night. I was sad that I wouldn’t have as much time with my baby. I also had the same worry as you about taking care of the baby after a long day of work. By the time I went back, she was already completely on formula so I didn’t really worry about pumping at that time (although this may be a worry if we have a #2)! I also worried about my baby’s well-being because after all, no one can replace Mommy! No one knows your baby like you do.
I don’t think my worries were completely unfounded, but I’d say that the anticipation of it all was actually much worse than the reality of going back. Yes, I did miss LO throughout the day, but it wasn’t as debilitating as I had imagined. Since I like what I do (at work), I found it refreshing to be back. I was tired at the end of the day, but going home to spend time w/my baby is actually the highlight of my day and it really makes the time w/them that much sweeter. And while no one can replace Mommy, I have been blessed to have family nearby to watch her while I am at work, and they have been more than competent in taking care of and loving my baby girl.
So ease your worries mama. You’ll do just fine. =)
cherry / 248 posts
I am a teacher too but haven’t gone back to work yet. How do you handle pumping? Who covers your class while you are pumping?
blogger / pomegranate / 3201 posts
@threeplusme: I am a high school teacher, so I get a conference period and I also pump during lunch and after school. I requested a specific conference period so the timing would be right.
blogger / pear / 1964 posts
@threeplusme: I’m a school librarian, so my schedule changes every day depending on the class Im working with. I usually co-teach with the classroom teacher, so I figure I can duck out for 15 minutes if needed. I also have planning, lunch, and a duty period that I can use. I really have no idea how it will work.
Thanks, all for your encouraging words!! I’ll be re-reading them tonight when Im lying awake having a panic attack.
guest
Just came accross your blog and love it! Love how real you are and I cant imagine the stress in going back to work! Thinkin of you!
blogger / wonderful cherry / 21628 posts
Good luck on your first day back!
pea / 14 posts
Best of luck!! I am a high school teacher and last school year had my DD right before winter break ended. I was scheduled to return right after our February break, but I ended up taking the rest of the year off. I am still at home, which I’m loving, but I know I need to return to work soon. Like you described, teaching is like performing all day long, which is exhausting on its own. Add lesson planning, prep, and grading to the mix, and you have yourself a pretty packed schedule. I’m apprehensive about how I’m going to add mommy duties to the workload, so I’m looking forward to posts about how you’re handling it all once you’ve settled into a routine.
apricot / 288 posts
I agree with what mrs checkers said – so much of what your feeling is the anticipation of the unknown. But the truth is, it just becomes the new normal and it happens pretty quickly. Remember how before your baby was here, you didn’t know what that would be like either – this is the same. We just adapt because we have to. Your husband will do great and he will figure out his own way to soothe the baby, just trust them.
As for working while sleep deprived – HA! You will be an expert at doing everything sleep deprived for the next few years. You will get used to it.
Just trust yourself and rely on your support system. The first week is hard and then you don’t think about it any longer. It just is the way it is. You will get your groove down and find a rhythm and you will do great because you’re mom and that’s what mom’s are great at.
cherry / 117 posts
Thanks for posting this! I am returning to work, as a teacher, in eight days and share many of your fears. The biggest one definitely is the energy factor. On those trying days, I feel like I barely want to talk to/look at anyone when I get home! I hope that when we get home on those days, our LO’s smile will make them better than ever! Best of luck to you!
guest
It’s hard, it’s difficult but eventually you will find your way. With all my three kids I had a hard time going back to work and I still have hard moments, but all in all they are doing well in the daycare/ kindergarten and I don’t need to worry. Don’t push yourself with breastfeeding. Try how it works with pumping and if it stresses you- leave it and keep on breastfeeding when you are at home. I do this and it works and worked perfectly well. I used to be a teacher and can understand how much enegry it takes. Now I work in an office. There are good days and bad days… and I did not really sleep good/ deep/ whole nights for the last 6 years :o) somehow it’s working anyway. Caring for the kids after work is indeed a tricky thing. You want to give them all the attention/ love etc. and sometimes there’s just no time. I think this part stresses me the most.
I wish you good luck from all my heart!
blogger / pear / 1964 posts
P.S. I survived!! The anticipation was sooo much worse than the actual experience. I’m exhausted, but ok. Mr. Tricycle and the baby had a great, I had a nice bottle of wine waiting for me when I got home, a delicious Valentine’s Day Dinner pepped, and a sweet card All is well! Can’t tell you how much I appreciate all the encouragement!!
blogger / persimmon / 1398 posts
You did it!!! That’s awesome! Just think… it will only get easier… Right?!