Today marked the first day of a pretty big house project: a new deck! Missus Scooter and I have been really excited about the start of this endeavor because the deck we had before was really small and a bit janky. We couldn’t imagine letting Baby O crawl around on it (flaking paint, uneven boards, nails coming up), not to mention it was very small and very high, meaning we would be constantly running around after her. Beyond the deck is a lot of grass, but unless it’s totally dry this would be a total nightmare with a crawling baby – the outfit would probably need to be thrown out!
We designed a deck that is easily 3 times bigger than our existing one, and we bit the bullet and splurged on a composite material so we don’t ever have to worry about splinters or upkeep. There will be lots of room for dining and playing. So yah, we are excited!
It’s interesting. Missus and I like to think of ourselves as go-with-the-flow parents, and for the most part, we really are. However, we have also found our household runs much better and everyone is much happier with some semblance of a schedule and routine. So naturally thinking about how naps will go during this construction is of concern. We have a great guest room at the front of the house, but Baby O’s crib is too big to fit through her bedroom door intact. It would be a real pain to take apart the crib and move it, especially since we would still like her to sleep in her own room at night. Putting her on the bed with mounds of pillows around her is just too dangerous – she can clear the pillows in 30 seconds flat.
Missus Scooter thought we should put her down in the spare room in our Phil and Ted’s traveling crib. But every time we’ve tried using this crib in the past, she’s absolutely hated it. I worried this would not work, especially if someone other than Missus Scooter was trying to put her down (my parents come over on Mondays and we have a babysitter come in a few times throughout the week so Missus can have some time to herself). My idea was to put her crib mattress on the floor in the spare room but Missus thought this wouldn’t work because she would just crawl around and never fall asleep, especially since she would be stimulated by a new location. We talked about the fall back being she could sleep in the arms of whomever she was with. But this sounded like a bad idea – she wouldn’t be getting great sleep and it may start a bad pattern.
I wondered if we were making too much of this? I really wanted to say something breezy like “well, it will all work out” but then I realized it wouldn’t all work out unless we made it work out. It is our responsibility as Baby O’s parents to make sure that we thought it through and offered the best alternative for her nap arrangements. That’s what being a parent is about. We want our babies to be adaptable and flexible, but we also want them to thrive in predictability and regularity. Is it fair to want both? Is it realistic? I think it is, but with small deviations.
In the end, Missus Scooter and I agreed to try the traveling crib in the spare room and if that wouldn’t work, try laying with her on the spare bed or couch. We came to accept that she may only have minimal naps during the next week and a half, but if she got at least 45 minutes, she would be fine. The other people who care for Baby O are also very familiar with her and her routines so getting them on board would be easy.
This got me thinking about the other ways that we will introduce flexibility to her routines now that she’s older and more aware of her surroundings. Traveling, having overnight guests at our house, or even leaving her overnight are all wild cards for us at this stage of the game. I can’t say I have the answers, but I am thinking about it.
Do you stick to a strict routine/schedule, or are you more go with the flow?
pear / 1723 posts
The new deck sounds so wonderful! I’m sure it will be worth the interruption.
Many people say you have to have a strict schedule with twins, but our kids have such different personalities and needs that we’ve done the best with more of a go-with-the-flow approach. At 7 months, we still feed on demand, nap on demand, and try to get somewhere, anywhere out of the house every day. Sometimes they share a room, sometimes one is in our room, sometimes they both sleep in bed with us. It’s funny because hubby and I are both analytic, type A people, but when we’ve tried to be regimented, everyone seems to end up crankier.
GOLD / apricot / 341 posts
We too have realized that our family does better with a bit of routine. So we plan to be home for bedtimes etc. Our thinking is that if we stick to a routine based on our kids’ needs 95% of the time, then it feels fine (and usually works fine) to push a bedtime back or mess with meals or whatever those rare times that make up the last 5%.
olive / 63 posts
I have tried discussing this with our families because try tend to believe that everything should be go with the flow and it will all be fine. Yes it will be fine, but not great. Routines and schedules help make baby happy and sleep better – everytime we have an off day the nights are awful. So we pick and choose what is worth being flexible. And have stopped trying to explain or defend our decisions. We adapt the best we can and I’m sure when more come along we’ll have to refigure it out!
blogger / nectarine / 2010 posts
The deck looks like it’s going to be awesome! We have lots and lots of dirty pants from crawling on wet grass. Nothing Tide can’t fix though. I’d like a deck or a walker. Preferably a deck since walking means a whole new level of baby proofing
So we’re a strict schedule from wake up – breakfast and from 5pm – bed. The middle of the day is when things totally fall apart. It’s been this way since the beginning and I consequently have an awesome night sleeper and a HORRID napper. It’s funny that you posted this today, just yesterday I talked with M’s daycare provider and a good friend with great nappers and Mr. S and I are going to start a nap routine on the weekends. Or rather we’re going to continue daycare’s nap routine – she was horrified when I told her he took 2 hours to take a nap last weekend. She says he goes down like “woosh” for her. He’s playing mummy and her loosey goosey schedule!
pomegranate / 3204 posts
The new deck sounds so exciting!
We are definitely more go with the flow type of parents. It has gotten in a few unfavorable situations. But also keeps me less stressed out if I don’t worry as much.
kiwi / 640 posts
I try to have a good balance between the two, especially since I have different care providers during the week (mom 3 days, MIL 2 days). In general, we’re schedule-driven but flexible enough that DS doesn’t get thrown for a loop if we’re out past his bedtime and the bedtime routine doesn’t happen. I definitely pick and choose what is worth being flexible over though.
GOLD / nectarine / 2884 posts
LOVE LOVE LOVE THIS: :I wondered if we were making too much of this? I really wanted to say something breezy like “well, it will all work out” but then I realized it wouldn’t all work out unless we made it work out.”
My husband and I had the same EUREKA moment last week, during week FIVE (SIX?) of sleep “training” (aka, trying everything we can think of). He said, “I knew going into this that we wouldn’t get any sleep….I just didn’t know that it would be our responsibility to fix his sleep.” It really hit me then– this is so true!!
pomegranate / 3383 posts
We are pretty strict with sleep because my LO is so much happier when he’s well-rested. Now that he’s a little older at 11.5 months, we are trying to be a bit more flexible with bedtime (I.e. staying out later if need-be), and while we pay the price with an early wake up the next morning, he can usually sort himself out within a day or 2.
In December we renovated our entire main floor and there was tons of hammering, screwing and a super loud air compressor to install hardwood floors. When my LO was napping I used two white noise machines and a fan on full blast. He napped fairly well during those 2 weeks!
blogger / eggplant / 11551 posts
We were pretty strict with a schedule/routine with our first, and it suited her personality and our lifestyle well, but I see so many benefits to being more flexible and I’m hoping we’ll be able to chillax and go with the flow a bit more the second time around. I have a feeling we’ll be forced to since our DD is not going to be happy revolving her playtime around her little brother’s sleep schedule. It just seems more unrealistic with two to be so strict about routines.