Hellobee

DD was just under 2 1/2 when DS was born. She went through a mama phase but not to the extent you are going through. I was worried but she handled it really well. In fact, she decided while I was in the hospital (which was only 24hrs) to start using the potty; one of our main issues was that whenever I sat down to nurse DS she would need to use the potty. You guys will get through this just make sure to not off-load all of her activities to DH.

I took over all of Charlie’s duties when Bee was pregnant with Olive, and we pretty quickly became best friends. It worked out really well!!

I don’t have two, obv, but just wanted to say that I’m thinking of you and hoping everything goes smoothly with the transition. Change is rough on all of us, but we always come through on the other end. I bet Toddler Heels will love being a big sis

I’ve been having the same problem with DS lately. We have only a few weeks left until our due date – less, before this baby arrives if my doctor’s correct. He’s been clingier and clingier lately, like he knows he’s going to be an only child for a little while longer. He’s only a year old, though, so I’m not sure how much is just my imagining and how much is fact. All I know is that we have a meltdown every time I so much as walk towards a doorway and nothing DH does can make appease him for long if I don’t come back fast enough for his liking.

I have no advice, but I worry about how to establish and keep a strong bond with both babies, too. I’m sure you’ll have some wrinkles along the way, but I’ll whisper a prayer that she’ll be like Charlie & Mr. Bee and become “best friends” with daddy for a while so you won’t worry so much about her. Can’t believe you’re only a week from your due date–so exciting!

Oh, I feel for you. We just went through the same thing with Owen. He has always been a mama’s boy (“Mama here!” as he physically pushes me down onto the couch is pretty typical), and I was so so worried about this while I was pregnant.

I’m not going to lie; it has been tough. Mr. Chalk took over a lot of things that I used to do with him (getting dressed in the morning, breakfast, etc.), which he was surprisingly ok with. I tried to always find time each day to spend just with him – no nursing babies allowed.

At the same time though, Mr. Chalk used to put him to sleep each night, and he would NOT stand for this anymore. Even though he had adjusted during the day, his need for mama came out at night.

I remember calling for advice to the hospital (they have this amazing service – the “birth consultant” is basically a parenting wonder who will happily take calls for free on any kind of subject in the first few years. It’s amazing.) Anyway, she basically told me that yes, it is going to be an adjustment, and for kids who are more attached to their mothers – which, by the way, I don’t necessarily see as a bad thing – it can be slightly tougher. In her words, “It is going to come out somewhere – whether during the day or at night”. But she also just reminded me to keep being consistent, and not let him get away with a lot more because I felt bad. Boundaries, and all that.

The other thing she reminded me of was that they all get there eventually… it can be tough to adjust to a new sibling, but they all do adjust. Just reminding her how much you love her and having a bit of time just for her each day will help.

Six weeks later, we are getting there… slowly. Nighttime can still be tough, but he’s adjusting to having to share my time with the baby and it’s getting a little bit easier.

Oh, and we had read lots of books about having a new baby in the house, and becoming a big brother during the last weeks of my pregnancy. I don’t know how much he really understood in advance (not much, is my guess) but it made the transition a little easier since the whole “baby!” didn’t just come out of nowhere for him.

Good luck! I know it’s so tough, but you’ll all adjust!

Umm, also, I did not mean to write a novel there! Can you tell this has been on my mind recently??

awwww Toddler Heels. This worried me a bit but Wagon Jr. has always been very independent. The negative side to this is that it’s tough to comfort him when he’s upset, and you never get to cuddle…!! But obviously the positive side is that when LMW came along he adjusted very well. He’s also very task-oriented so he loves helping out.

Wagon Sr. and I are constantly dividing and conquering. While I was pregnant we made it a point to always switch off duties so Wagon Jr. was used to both of us, and now that LMW is here we do the same so that both kids are used to both of us for bedtime and such things. Also, when I was pregnant I did the same as you– I refrained from paying a lot of attention to Wagon Jr. and I slowly kind of pulled myself away from his radar. Again, this worked well for us since both kids are independent.

Another thing that surprised me is that newborns really DON’T need attention. All they really do is eat and sleep! Even when they are awake, just a glance and smile every now and then over at them is enough for them.

My son was 2 years and 5 days old when my daughter was born (15 months ago now). The first 3 months were hard. He cried almost every time she made any sound. One of the worst moments for me was when he stood at the top of our stairs crying and told me that he didn’t like to go downstairs anymore (where the baby was). I remember bursting into tears and telling my husband that I felt so bad for ruining my son’s life. But I didn’t ruin anything. Not all days are roses, but now he plays with her, comforts her, and “reads” to her. Every time they are sweet to each other it makes all the mornings I hear “I don’t want her to come downstairs, she’s scary” a little easier to get through. Hang in there and you’ll all find a new groove.

Your girl will adjust just fine and everything she’s doing right now is right on track. Try to concentrate on all the things you’re giving her instead of all of the things,you’re taking away. She gets to make a closer bond with her daddy while you’re taking care of the new baby. She gets to practice being independent, being a contributing member of the family, and learning responsibility and patience. And she gets a sibling who she will have a lifelong bond with. You’re giving her so much right now, and even though it’s tough those first few weeks, having two is so much more fun!

We handled it a lot like @mrbee: when my daughter was born my husband took over a lot of the activities for the boys. Wile I was in the hospital he came home each night to do bedtime routine with them. They still wanted me to sing so I had to call in the lullaby but he did teeth and stories and ticking in. The two nights I was away they had already established new routines. From then on he took over bedtime, now they ask for him if I try to read.

You will do great. There is definitely adjustment periods and the older siblings might have some tantrums but they adjust.

awww….while i certainly don’t have two, i know i have thought about all of these questions (and we’re not even pregnant!) all of this sounds totally normal, though, probably similar to the way you felt a week before your due date with Toddler Heels. it’s all new! you guys are going to do so great

I’ve been enjoying your posts for a while bc I feel like we have a lot in common. Close due dates, similar child personalities, same faith, similar ethnic background and ca (we are northern though). My daughter p has been alternating between clingy-ness and a lot more defiance lately and I still have a month to go. I dont have a lot of advice or support to offer you but i do feel your pain. Hang in there and I am looking forward to hearing about your transition to 2.

Awww… sweet Toddler Heels! I don’t have two (yet!) but I have one *very* needy little boy. If he’s here, he has to be constantly engaging with me… so I know how exhausting it can be. Hang in there!