I remember sitting at my desk at my first job out of college, working as a volunteer coordinator for a local non-profit agency, and laughing with my colleagues after what I thought was the most ridiculous phone call.
A young mother called me, seeking an ongoing volunteer opportunity for herself and her one year old daughter. She wanted to start early teaching her about the importance of giving back to the community and was seeking suggestions for agencies that would welcome infant-aged volunteers.
To me, as a twenty-two year old who was light years from having any desire to have a baby, this seemed like the most preposterous idea. What could a one year old learn from volunteering? What could a one year old even do that could be considered volunteering?
Wait mom, you want me to do what?!
Now as a mother to a baby who is creeping up on his first birthday, I understand where these moms were coming from.
Of course, looking back through the lens of motherhood, I’m sure the caller knew that her baby girl would not be doing much, if any, of the work. Getting there on time would be stressful, especially when dealing with evolving nap schedules, diaper explosions, messy meals and other toddler-inspired challenges. More than likely, whatever the project was would be much more difficult to accomplish while balancing the needs of a one year old with the task at hand.
But what she did know is that small children pick up on their surroundings. Exposing them to a wide variety of people, whether it is elderly adults, individuals with disabilities, or those facing poverty, can only help when facing challenges like stranger anxiety.
While infants and toddlers will not have explicit memories of being a part of a specific volunteer experience at age one, two or even three or four, it is in their implicit memory where these activities make a difference. Just as most of us don’t remember learning to tie our shoes or how to pedal on a bike, the skills remain. Similarly, we don’t have one concrete memory that proves to us that our parents loved us; we have a general implicit sense of being loved based on our implicit memories of our childhoods. This concept can be translated to teaching children values like the importance of helping others and being charitable. By including children in volunteerism on a regular basis from an early age, we lodge the importance of giving deep in their implicit memory.
As a stay-at-home mom, I can also identify with the desire to volunteer with a small child. It is easy for days to blend into each other, with play dates, errands, nap time and outings day in and day out. Finding an outside-the-box activity to do with your baby can be not only meaningful but fun as well.
Delivering holiday food packages with a seven month old strapped on to my body in an Ergo while I schlepped into questionable neighborhoods wasn’t exactly a walk in the park. However, seeing the grateful look on the recipient’s face made it all worthwhile, especially when Little C’s ear-to-ear grin brought a smile to a face that doesn’t smile nearly as easily or as often.
Similarly, visiting the elderly at a nursing home isn’t for everyone. As someone who isn’t 100% comfortable there myself, I pushed myself outside my comfort zone, knowing that not only will it help ensure that my little guy is comfortable with senior citizens, but old people love babies, and many of them living in facilities don’t have many visitors of any age. Just a friendly hello and a brief chat can make a huge difference.
Even performing small acts of kindness can make someone’s day brighter, and making a habit of it is something I have tried to do to model the act of giving for my son. We participated in the “26 Acts of Kindness” movement that Ann Curry began after the Sandy Hook shooting, and I know Little C won’t remember any of them specifically, whether is was cleaning up litter in our neighborhood, delivering a hot meal to a new mother of twins, or collecting hundreds of baby items to give to a local shelter for pregnant and parenting teens. But as we continue these acts of kindness, continue and expand our volunteer efforts and live generously, I hope to impart a giving spirit in him.
Little C checking out all of the donations we collected a local shelter for teen moms
Over half a decade later, I have come to realize that the woman who called me many years ago that I thought was crazy was really quite wise. I only wish I knew it then so I could have better helped her to succeed.
Have you ever volunteered with your little one?
guest
Dear Mrs. Confetti,
While I have not volunteered with my little one quite yet (mostly because I do not yet have a little one), I truly admire your tenacity and willingness to impart your kindness and values onto your amazing son. He will, I’m sure, be able to look back at these photos and remember what an incredible mom he has. What a lucky little man!
Welcome to the site! I can’t wait to read more of what you have to say as I prepare to have a little one myself someday. One can never start learning early enough
cherry / 158 posts
Beautiful post! I haven’t volunteered anywhere since Z’s birth, but I definitely have the itch. I’d love to find something 1-year-old friendly but I also want to leave Z with his dad for a few hours to be a baby cuddler.
coffee bean / 33 posts
I don’t have any little ones yet but I love the idea of volunteering with them.
My husband and I wanted to start volunteering more often, but a regular schedule was too difficult to work into our lives, so we started volunteering on days that were special to us (grandparents’/parents’/family members’ birthdays and anniversaries.) It makes us feel like we are celebrating our family member (who we can’t always see because we are far away or they have passed away) and helping others. I hope we keep this tradition when we have kiddos.
nectarine / 2771 posts
Great post! No volunteering yet as LO is still too young, but I hope to be able take along in the future!
cherry / 175 posts
Wow! This is a great idea for SAHMs! Not only is it great for getting out the house more often, but it’s a fantastic idea to begin exposing our children to experiences that they may not explicitly remember, but will be formative in their lives. Thanks for sharing!
nectarine / 2132 posts
I would love to take LO out to volunteer but have no idea how to find opportunities. Any suggestions?
blogger / pomegranate / 3491 posts
@Sarah Crowder: Being a baby cuddler sounds like a great volunteer gig – now that C is on the move and less snuggly, I totally miss the cuddly stage.
@crabbabs: I love the tradition you started with your husband. I am trying to find ways to work volunteering into holiday celebrations, but that sounds like an equally fabulous way to give back.
blogger / pomegranate / 3491 posts
@jmarionsmith: Not sure where you are located, but depending on your city, there are volunteer placement organizations that can help you connect with a local nonprofit (an example in Chicago is http://www.chicagocares.org).
For those who live in Chicago, Denver, San Diego or the DC area, there is an up-and-coming nonprofit called “More Than Milk” that focuses on connecting new moms with opportunities to give back, while meeting other new moms.
If you’re flying solo without a guide to find an agency to help, my best advice is to look up local nursing homes, call, and request to speak with their volunteer coordinator. Or google your zip code and the type of volunteering you’d like to try (ex. food bank, meal delivery to seniors, friendly visiting). Then as Grandma Confetti says, “Let your fingers to the walking” – call and ask to learn about potential opportunities. Good luck!