I will admit; by the time Scribble was seven months, I had already started a few Pinterest boards and was hoarding ideas for his birthday party. But at two months from the big day, I found myself stalled. Seems that admiring parties on the internet and planning them in the real world are two different things entirely.  And after considering all the complexities of planning one, I wasn’t sure I wanted to throw Scribble a birthday party after all!

A party? For me? 

To begin, I was concerned about the cost. These days, first birthday parties are often like small wedding receptions, complete with theme-appropriate food and cocktails. I love looking at buffet tables and dessert displays as much as anyone. But as you know from my budget series, our family is trying to cut down on unnecessary expenses. Buying decorations, favors, and food can be awfully pricey, especially if you’re offering a full meal and adult beverages.  Plus, party expenses threatened to chip away at the money we are saving for things we need and want for Scribble’s second year: a winter wardrobe (we haven’t bought a single piece of 18 month clothing), some heirloom toys (a learning tower, a play kitchen, or an art easel would all be wonderful and long-lasting), and mommy-and-me classes.

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Finally, there’s the sheer stress of it all. Many people say that the first birthday party is “about the parents.” And while yes, I love to geek out on tiny craft projects, adore baking, and love design, I also hate the stress of doing all of that to a deadline and a strict budget. I hit my limit on DIY low-budget craft projects when I planned my wedding five years ago, and I’m still a little traumatized by that experience! A part of me wants to bring to life all my pinboards. But a wiser part of me knows that when I start DIYing to a deadline, I get anxious and crabby. I don’t want to bring any negative energy into what is supposed to be a beautiful celebration. Honestly, when I imagine a first birthday celebration, I imagine Scribble, my husband, and myself enjoying an ocean breeze. Or maybe going to the zoo or a baseball game. Something that allows us to focus all our attention on celebrating each other.

However, when I casually mentioned to my husband that I wanted to limit our celebrations to a party of three, he balked! He really wanted the classic birthday party: the smash cake, the adoring grandparents, the proud dad manning the grill. Why couldn’t we just throw some hot dogs on the grill, grab some party hats at the dollar store, and call it a day? Somehow even this managed to frustrate me: I was thinking we’d either do a big shebang, or I wanted to do something altogether different.

So we stalemated for a few days and stewed in our respective corners. I thought about it a lot, and I realized the only way I could resolve our issue was to figure out what Scribble would like. Sure, he won’t remember his birthday years from now, but even now he has his own favorite activities. He loves his “people,” loves swimming, and loves food.  He also loves to nap. So it seems to me that a modest party, comprised of his favorite people, and scheduled around his nap routine, would be his choice for how to spend his birthday.

But could we afford this party without becoming a slave to the glue gun, or breaking the bank? I asked the forums which gift their one-year-olds had enjoyed the most, and got the classic response: they liked the box better than the gift inside! So I reconsidered my excessive requirements for Scribble’s first birthday gift.  Many of the gifts I wanted for him could wait until the holidays, or even his second birthday.  And some of the things– like Montessori shelving, an art easel, and a learning tower– can easily be DIYed to save money.

As far as party expenses go, I’m hoping that in spite of our limited funds, we can throw together an event that is fun, stress-free, yet reflective of our family’s values and personality. For us, this means investing in some reusable decor, shopping our house for the rest, and deciding to spend only on the details that mean the most to us. Hopefully in subsequent posts I’ll be able to share my plans with you!

Did the idea of planning a first birthday party intimidate or energize you?