I own a smartphone, as does Mr. Pen. We both have our own computers and Mr. Pen will be receiving a tablet through work that will also be allowed for personal use. Technology has consumed our lives.
I hate to admit how habitual checking my phone is. I check my email, then my text messages, voicemail, facebook, instagram and Hellobee. I have noticed that I don’t even think about it when I instinctively grab my phone to “check it.” But I notice how often Mr. Pen does the same, and I know I must be doing it just as, if not more often than him.
I appreciate technology so much. Life can be easier when I’m able to communicate with someone quickly, check the weather, read the news, etc. all without leaving the couch. In the same way, technology and how we allow it to consume our time, energy and relationships has the potential to corrode important things in life.
– I have friends on the internet, but I truly lack relationships in my life.
– In addition, technology complicates what relationships I do have. To elaborate, this is an all too common “issue” I face: “Why haven’t you responded to my text/facebook message/email?! Are you mad at me? What did I do?”
– I now compare my life with those of my “friends” just by way of what they post online: pictures, stories and snippets of their thoughts.
– I spend more time reading about exercising and eating right than I do actually following-through with it.
– I think about what I could/should have, I window shop and start to think I need these things to be happy.
– I become entitled thinking everyone wants to hear my thoughts and opinions voiced through social media, only to realize that I honestly don’t care that much about opinions and thoughts of most people – so why should I assume they care about mine? Yup that’s right – they likely don’t.
– Technology has stolen my time. Rather, I have allowed myself to allow technology to steal my time. Sure, a lot of my internet use is productive: research, relevant parenting articles, staying in contact with out-of-state friends, reading the news, etc.. but probably more of it is spent in a futile manner.
But probably the biggest negative factor that has me saddened is how my 17 month old son has noticed the time spent on our phones/computer. He jumps at the opportunity to snatch our phones and play with them, beg to watch youtube videos, look at pictures, etc.
When Mr. Pen and I first discussed the idea of tech-free days, we realized what our ideal weekend looks like: going to the park together, eating outside and enjoying each other’s company. By allowing our phones to get in the way, we have spent less time as a family. I want to cultivate true relationships and build a firm foundation for our family. Technology can be a great thing when used appropriately, but not as great of a tool when used all day long.
Because of this we decided many months ago to instill Tech-Free Sundays. Sunday is our family day. We strive for Sundays to be just for us. Sure, we’ll attend family events and such, but in general our Sundays are for being together. Our phones are kept on for calls/emergencies, but we don’t check Facebook, text, email, work, etc. This is important to us and has really helped us better manage our time. We better enjoy our time with J and I want him to grow up knowing we value our time with him. We also don’t want him to grow up dependent on TV/Movies, apps, and video games to be entertained and stimulated. Mr. Pen and I both grew up playing with our siblings, building with legos, biking outside and reading books – back before computers were such an integral part of life. We want to keep that element of childhood alive and well with J.
It sure is hard and sometimes I do go to reach for my phone and catch myself. I remember this was a rule for my family growing up too. Sundays my mom said were TV/phone/computer free days; a time just for families. I am glad they made family time a priority as well.
Would you consider a tech-free day for your family?
blogger / nectarine / 2010 posts
I love this. I feel a nagging concern about technology and the time i spend using it. I definitely want to make a day like this, but I didn’t know how to make it happen. I’m so glad you wrote this. I’m doing to talk to dh about planning a day like this. It will be easier for us when he doesn’t work weekends anymore, but I think we all would benefit.
apricot / 347 posts
I
this so much. Such a great idea! We have friends with a 5 yr old, and when they asked her what she wanted for her birthday she said, 'a day without phones and computers!' — so beautiful and a little sad. We'll definitely be implementing tech free days like this when our LO comes in Nov. Thanks for a great post!
pomegranate / 3225 posts
I completely agree. It concerns me my 8 month old is already obsessed with my iphone. Beautiful photos, btw!
honeydew / 7504 posts
This is such a great idea. Lately I’ve been feeling like I am neglecting my family because I’m too busy checking facebook, IG, news….whatever. I definitely will talk to Hubs about this. He rarely uses his phone outside of making phone calls or texting, so I think it will be MUCH easier for him than for me! But really, great idea. Thank you for this post!
GOLD / wonderful grape / 20289 posts
I honestly don’t think that technology takes over our lives so much that we need a day. The only time we’re on the computer or phone is when LO is napping/sleeping for the most part. DH will occasionally pull out the phone at the dinner table, but it’s gotten rare because 1. I tell him to put it away because we need to set a good example and 2. LO tries to take it to look at pictures and gets upset when she can’t have it.
blogger / wonderful cherry / 21616 posts
@Mrs. Polish: J doesn’t have tantrums very often (yet!!) but the times that he does, it’s usually when we say no tv – gah. it is a pain to my heart that we “trained” him to do that already.
@bunnymommy: oh that is sad and sweet at the same time!!
@kml636: thank you
@littlebug: oh same here… it has been A LOT harder for me than it is for DH!
@artbee: that’s great that you’re already so on top of it!
grapefruit / 4187 posts
Oh, this is great! I find the biggest challenge to tech-free time is the expectations of other people. I’ve never been a big phone person and I actually turn it off and don’t even look at it once DH gets home. It’s totally normal for me to go an entire weekend without looking at my phone, which has resulted in some hurt feelings by my friends and family. I once missed a call from a coworker who called to say she had her baby and needed my help letting her DH into our building! So it’s tough since everyone expects you to be available 24/7 and real sacrifices need to be made, but I think it’s worth it ultimately to have uninterrupted quality time with your family.
blogger / pomelo / 5361 posts
Ughh…I’m so bad about being constantly attached to my phone. I’ve been thinking the last few weeks as the boys become so much more active and interactive that we need to start implementing some limits on TV & technology use. Like you, we grew up playing outside, reading, and playing games; I want that for my kids, but I know they will emulate what we do. I’m going to steal your idea and talk to Mr. Blue about a tech-free day during the weekend.
cherry / 155 posts
I love this idea too! Thank you for posting.
(he does fantasy yadda yadda yadda)
I sent it to my husband and he emailed back– 2 words, Football Sunday
So we shall be having Tech-Free Saturday this fall!
coffee bean / 32 posts
Thank you for sharing this. I think my husband and I will start this weekend!
pomelo / 5866 posts
I need to do more unplugging too! Every year I ask my elem. students, what does your family VALUE? You will know because they spend a lot of time doing it, talking about it, spend their money on it. Some say education, God, honesty, sports but the sad one this year was the kid who sadly said my mom values the IPHONE.
nectarine / 2132 posts
i definitely need to get a check on how much time dh and i spend on our phones/computers. as i type, lo is playing on the floor by himself, while i catch up on hellobee and facebook…
as bad as it sounds, i don’t think i could give up a whole day. but if we could just limit it to lo’s nap times and after he’s gone to bed for the day i would feel SO much better about it.
pomegranate / 3272 posts
Yup, I need to talk to DH about this. My biggest complaint is that he’s ALWAYS on his phone checking the internet, etc. Now that football season is coming up, I don’t know if Sundays will work with his fantasy team but seriously. This needs to happen. I get so mad at him when we’re out to dinner or out with friends and he pulls his phone out. I really try not to do this so that I’m not a hypocrite. DS is always grabbing for DH’s phone and I think that’s just b/c he sees daddy playing with it so he wants it.
We just moved to a new neighborhood with a ton of kids. I love that they are always outside playing. They’re not always inside with the tv on or playing video games. That’s how I grew up and what I want for my kids.
grapefruit / 4669 posts
This is a great idea! DH and I need to start unplugging. LO is drawn to screens and I don’t want her to get addicted, not to mention I’d rather us have quality family time.
blogger / nectarine / 2608 posts
We don’t devote a specific day, but, because we want the girls to let technology play a healthy and appropriate role in their lives, we do have fairly stringent guidelines for our own usage. No media of any sort at the table (a rare exception would be if Mr. T needs to check the markets, in which case he will excuse himself from the table for a moment to do so; but that is VERY rare), my own usage limited to during Lorelei’s nap (which I keep brief because it’s nice to spend one-on-one with Ellie) and when the girls are in bed. I will take phone calls if they are important throughout the day, but to give you an idea of how often that happens, let’s just say that there have been days, literally, that my cell phone has lay uncharged and forgotten in the car or the diaper bag. Same with texts. I’m also open to making exceptions from time to time (say a friend needs some moral support and text or messaging is the best way for them to do that), but it happens less than once a week, I’d say. I think it’s great to think critically, like you did, about whether the role technology plays in your life is a help or hinderance, and to take steps to make it work for YOU, and not the other way around. I think technology can sometimes run us ragged, and I think people would maybe be surprised at how much of a difference taking just a step or two back can make.
blogger / cherry / 222 posts
Great idea! We definitely need to do something along these lines. I definitely find myself getting annoyed at how much my husband uses his phone and I am sure I am just as bad. Plus our 8 month old already has his eyes glued to the laptop or phone as soon as they come into view – NOT how I want things at all.
GOLD / coconut / 8266 posts
@RLCeigh: hahaha but Saturday is college football!
@Mrs. Pen: loved this post! DH and I are both attached to our phones, computers, and iPad. I need to work on it especially as LO starts to become more aware of her surroundings.