Yesterday afternoon, I sat stuck in traffic with an overtired fifteen month old who had refused to take his afternoon nap.  We were on our way to meet friends at a playground across town, and what should have been a carefree adventure with a well-rested child had turned into a tantrum-fest with a crabby monster before we had even arrived.

This was not even close to the first time that we have faced this lately; we are struggling handsomely with the 2 to 1 nap transition and entering the tantrums of the terrible two’s significantly early (yes, normal I know, but AWFUL). To say that I was feeling stressed was a colossal understatement.

In an effort to tune out the whining, I cranked up the radio as I focused on the road.  At that moment, the perfect song came on.

Ah, Carrie Underwood – you get right to the heart of things.  While I know she wasn’t writing it from the lens of motherhood, I am sure I’m not the only one stuck in the weeds of parenting a small child who can feel the words of this song echoing in her bones.

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I can’t count how many times I have wished away the present, assuming that the next stage will be the game-changer that makes life easier, only to discover that the next big thing comes with its own new set of challenges.  My mind would spin, subconsciously wishing away the days and weeks and months.  It will get easier when he can sleep through the night.  Sit on his own.  Crawl.  Take two naps instead of three.  Walk.  Use his words to express his needs. Take one nap instead of two.  I feel like I am always looking forward to what’s coming next, and struggling to stay present and in the moment.

Of course, it isn’t like I’m never appreciating the present.  But now, as we cross new hurdles into the toddler stage, I can better appreciate the days I was once wishing away. I think back to when C spent months scooting on his belly, unable to balance on hands and knees, and I laugh at the mountain I made of that molehill. If I only knew how much time I would spend redirecting him away from the dangerous corners of our apartment as he speeds around on his hands and knees, I would have relished in his peaceful play under the activity gym.

I never appreciated the consistency of our regular two-nap days, which lasted for months, until I had a nap fighter on my hands who needs the sleep of two naps but somehow can only seem to go down for one nap a day….and many months from now, I am sure I will be hitting myself for not appreciating any nap I can get when C decides to stop napping entirely.

As we struggle with Little C communicating his wants and needs, I know there will be a day when he is mouthing off (or worse, screaming “I hate you”), and I will miss the days when he had about a dozen words (none of which are offensive….he can say “shoes” “hi” and “dog” all he wants).

Instead of my typical mantra of “this too shall pass” (and boy, do I think that A LOT these days), I am trying to reformulate my go-to thoughts.  Patient and present.  Patient and present.

Be patient.  This is hard, and dealing with an overtired child who won’t nap stinks, but when he is tired and cuddly, he is truly adorable. When he plays in his crib instead of naps, it’s really cute to spy on him and watch him entertain himself in the dark.  The words will come – “help” “this” “please” and so many more. These feel like monstrous problems, but a few months from now (or maybe sooner?!), we will have settled into a new normal, and I will hardly remember these times.

Be present.  Try not to wish the minutes until bedtime away.  The days are long, yes, but the grueling hours at the end of the day are finite.  Bedtime will come, it always does.  Step away from the iPhone, and play with your little one.


My overtired little man, still finding a way to enjoy our afternoon outing

Be patient, be present.  That mountain is a molehill after all.  At least it will feel that way soon.  Because really, love is all that matters, and love I definitely have in spades.  Patience – not always quite as much, but I’m working on it.

What parenting challenges have you unnecessarily made mountains out of?