As a kid, it was totally apparent to me and to everyone else that my mom was absolutely clueless about how to manage a mane of curly locks.  I had curls – tons of wild, crazy curls – and my mom hadn’t the faintest idea what to do with them.  She would rip through my hair with a brush, causing not only discomfort but excessive frizz, and a fairly long and traumatic awkward phase.  My dad was the one with the curly hair, and honestly, I think my mom just did her best with the information that she had.

So now, I want to pay it forward.  As the mom of a kiddo with curls, and as a grown up who survived many, many years of failed experiments with curly hair, I thought the Hellobee community and The Internets would benefit from some tips on dealing with curly kids.

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1)  The most important rule when dealing with curls is to never ever brush hair that has already dried. Brushing dry curly hair only creates damage and frizz because it rips apart the curls, and they do not have any way to recurl once dry.  If you are dealing with tangled curly hair, the best strategy is to detangle it while in the tub or shower, using your fingers.  Yep – your fingers.  If the tangles are too tough, a wide tooth comb (old school 1980’s style like this one) should do the trick, or if absolutely necessary, a paddle brush like this one.

2)  The second tip in the land of “don’t” is another one that might surprise folks with straight hair.  Shampoo is the enemy of curl.  It strips hair follicles of their natural oils, and while straight hair can get very oily in just a day or two, curly hair can often withstand days before showing signs of oil.  Shampooing a couple times a week is more than enough to prevent drying out the hair.  Picking shampoo for little ones is tough because tear-free is the ultimate priority, but once you can upgrade your child to an adult shampoo, ideally look for shampoos that are silicone and sulfate free (silicone causes build-up in hair and sulfates are drying, which makes curls frizzy and unmanageable). Everyone’s hair is different, but with curl, less is more. We shampoo Little C’s hair at most once per week, which is plenty for him.

3)  Now we enter the land of do – DO use conditioner!  Just as shampoo saps the hair of moisture, conditioner heals the dryness that comes with curly hair. When you peruse the baby aisle and seek a conditioner, you’ll find that they’re few and far between.  You won’t find one at your average grocery store, but Target and Amazon carry California Baby Conditioner, which is tear-free and a little goes a long way.  I’ve heard from friends that you can also use coconut oil as a natural conditioner if you want to try a gentle home remedy.  I condition every single time my hair gets wet, and I aim to do this already with Little C, which does wonders for the frizz.

4)  This one is tough – curly kids need regular haircuts.  I have yet to live up to this commandment with Little C, since his hair is still just coming in.  Even though with curl most people want to preserve length, regular trimming is critical for healthy growth.  Getting regular trims helps keep the ends from getting brittle and dry which in turn keeps them from turning to frizz.  Over the course of nearly three decades, I have struggled with stylists who are not masters at dealing with curl, and finding a skilled stylist should not be taken lightly because of your child’s age.  Rather than popping into a kid’s salon, ask around to friends with curls and see who they visit for their cuts.  And when you get there, if your child is old enough (or has long enough hair), you’ll want to ask them to cut layers (so you can avoid my 4th grade triangle cut….yikes!).

5)  Don’t be afraid of using product, even for a really young child.  If, after all of the above, you are still fighting frizz, it’s absolutely okay to use a bit of product in your child’s hair.  On the worst of Little C’s hair days, I have found that just by taking a simple spray bottle of water and dampening the hair, I can usually resolve the issue.  A good way to tip-toe into hair product is to add a dollop of hair gel into a spray bottle of water and shake well, so that a spray has a slight impact to contain the crazy that comes with curl.  Product choice is the toughest challenge with curly hair, as there are not only countless brands, but so many types of product – gel, mousse, cream, leave-in conditioner, etc.  Accept the fact that you will likely buy many bottles of hair potion that do not work before you find the winner.  Such is the life of a curly top.

6)   Finally, this is the best advice I received regarding my own hair back in my formative years (and I only wish I had received it sooner).  The closer you wear your hair to its natural tendencies, the better it will look – don’t fight it.  Curls are beautiful, so encourage your son or daughter to love their curls.  I wish I had truly appreciated my curls while they were wonderful (ah, pregnancy and postpartum hormones, how I hate what you’ve done to me).  I spent far too much of my middle school and high school days fighting the curl, trying to turn my hair into something it wasn’t, when it was really fabulous all along.


I love my curly kid.

Anyone out there have a child with hair vastly different from their own?  How are you learning to adapt to a curly haired kiddo?