Earlier this week we had an upsetting experience taking Little Piñata out to dinner. Mr. Piñata was out of town for work for the week, so my parents were kind enough to take me and Little P to a local family friendly cafe/restaurant for dinner.

We don’t take Little Piñata out to restaurants very often, mostly because it’s a big hassle. With his egg allergy we have to pack his own food. Not to mention, he’s also a VERY active 16.5 month old! So, it tends to be a lot of work. If the restaurant is slow, one of us usually has to take him out for a walk at least once during dinner because that’s a long time for him to sit in one place. But I definitely like going out to eat, so I didn’t want to pass up the opportunity to go out with my parents and the little buddy.

He did great when we first got there, coloring on the paper tablecloth, chatting with us and eating his sandwich. It took a while for our food to come, so my dad took Little P outside to run around for about 10 minutes so he wouldn’t get too antsy. While they were gone our food arrived and we started asking the server what had egg and what didn’t. We like to be able to give him several bites from what’s on our plates so we can share with him. Our usual go-to items are french fries and side vegetables. However, at this place, even the french fries were dipped in egg! So, asparagus was the only option to give him.

When Little Piñata came back in with my dad and sat down in his high chair, he immediately reached for the french fries. They are definitely a treat for him, so I don’t blame him. But, we told him no because they would hurt his belly (not that he would understand, but we wanted to be calm about the whole thing), and he started screaming. It was very embarrassing. Plus, we felt so bad for him to not get to try what we had. We quickly tried to give him his fruit/veggie pouch, some of the asparagus, and a bite of the sandwich I had brought for him, but he was pretty upset and refused it all. After about one minute of me frantically trying to calm him down, I put him in my lap to try something distract him when the lady at the table behind us turned around and said, “Do you mind taking him outside so we can enjoy our dinner?”

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Granted, Little P was being loud and obnoxious, but it hadn’t even been a full minute of him crying. I definitely understand that it’s not the right of parents to stay in a restaurant for their whole dinner while their child is screaming (did anyone else see that recent episode of Parenthood?).

As if we weren’t embarrassed enough, my dad very kindly took him outside while I asked the waitress for a box for my food so that I could head home with Little P. But as I was leaving, my mortification turned to anger. My dad said he was tempted to ask her if she was used to always getting her way. I wanted to tell her that I hoped that one day her kid had colic (yikes! not my best side I know), but neither one of us would actually say anything like that in a million years. We were polite and quickly left. (I will add that while we were getting in the car, less than 5 minutes later, the couple was already leaving the restaurant!)

Since then I have wondered if maybe she had personal reasons for finding a baby’s cry to be so upsetting after one minute. Maybe she’s dealing with infertility. Maybe she had a rough day at work. Or maybe she and her husband were in a fight. Who knows? And if so, I do feel bad for her and I also totally understand why anyone in the restaurant (with or without issues about babies) would be annoyed or frustrated with a crying baby. Of course no one WANTS to have a crying toddler next to them! I certainly don’t! But, at the same time I still thought it wasn’t ok for her to ask us to leave so quickly and abruptly, without giving us a chance to get him to calm down.

I looked online and saw there are other examples of families with young children getting kicked out or being refused service at restaurants for various reasons. We were just asked to leave by another customer, but I can’t imagine the management talking to the people in these situations!

Breastfeeding Mom asked to Nurse in Applebee’s Bathroom
Authorities Called on Family in Applebee’s 
A Family Refused Service cue to a Baby Stroller

And by reading some of the comments, it appears that many people think it’s appropriate to refuse service to families that are disturbing them (even by quiet breastfeeding). This disappoints me because it indicates that our culture finds children annoying and inconvenient. Of course, I think there are boundaries and that parents should be considerate of others in public. However, I also think that as a culture we should be more inviting and kind to children in public. I know that when I’m in public and I see a child throwing a tantrum, my first instinct is to feel bad for the parents, not to ask them to leave!

For now we have learned a few things about taking Little Piñata out to a restaurant. It had been 2 months since we had taken him out to a restaurant, and it may be even longer now with this recent incident! But, I’ll be more prepared next time.

1. Be quick about ordering. Don’t think about it too long as this just prolongs the time Little P will have to sit still.
2. Ask the server before ordering what doesn’t have eggs to be sure all of our food won’t be “off limits” to him!
3. ALWAYS bring a special snack, like puffs, so that he will have a special treat to munch on that we don’t ever have at home. Hopefully this will be distracting enough.
4. Request to be seated near other families and away from couples. This one will be out of our control, but it couldn’t hurt to make this request.

So, what do you all think? Have you been in a similar situation and been asked to leave a public place due to a loud child? Do you think children should be kept at home if they can’t have model behavior? Where’s the line for you?