I’m not quite sure how I stumbled upon concept of The Wonder Weeks, but when I was a first time mom, it was an invaluable resource to me. Hellobee wasn’t around when my daughter was born, so I didn’t have the tools that exist here on this site now. I was also the first of my friends to give birth, so I didn’t really have “a village” I could turn to for support, advice, and camaraderie.
The concept of The Wonder Weeks helped normalize a lot of things for me. It made me feel secure knowing that the “low points” I was experiencing with my child was all part of her development and growth. I turned to their book time and again every time I suspected something was off with my girl, and sure enough… she was usually fussiest around one of the wonder weeks.
What are the wonder weeks? They refer to the weeks in our children’s life where they are the most fussy because they are about to take on a huge developmental leap. Can you imagine if all of a sudden what you thought was your reality was no longer true? Pretend to be in a baby’s shoes – one day you think you’re attached (literally, physically) to your mommy and nothing can separate you from her, then the next day it dawns on you that that was never the case at all! How scary! However, after each new revelation, our babies adapt to their new normal and things are calm again. That is, until the next big leap. I’m pretty sure we go through something similar as adults every time we’re forced to undergo some big change in our lives.
The 10 Big Leaps are (I included the month for easy reference):
Wonder Week 5 (1 month) – The World of Changing Sensations
Wonder Week 8 (2 months) – The World of Patterns
Wonder Week 12 (3 months) – The World of Smooth Transitions
Wonder Week 19 (4.5 months) – The World of Events
Wonder Week 26 (6.5 months) – The World of Relationships
Wonder Week 37 (8.5 months) – The World of Categories
Wonder Week 46 (10.5 months) – The World of Sequences
Wonder Week 55 (12.5 months) – The World of Programs
Wonder Week 64 (14.5 months) – The World of Principles
Wonder Week 75 (17 months) – The World of Systems
Every leap consists of similar signs. Your baby will be extra fussy, more clingy, and become a not-so-great-sleeper. A wonder week can last anywhere from a few days to 6 weeks!
I haven’t delved into the book as much as a second time mom. It’s only recently that I looked it up again, and coincidentally, my second born is right smack in the middle of Wonder Week 46! I was wondering why he’s been extra clingy and dependent on me lately. It’s so unlike him.
As much as I liked knowing what to expect as a first time mom because it helped me get through those difficult periods (it was nice knowing there was an end in sight), not knowing what came next was a refreshing change this time around.
By not focusing on regressions and wonder weeks, everything blurred into one. It’s allowed me to be more present. I’m not in a constant state of mentally counting down the days until a wonder week is over. I’ve learned from the first time around that parenting isn’t linear. I’ve chucked the phrase, “it gets easier” out of my vocabulary. It gets easier, then it gets hard, then harder, then easy again. Each stage comes with its own set of challenges. If we were to plot our highs and lows, it will never look like one straight, clear path. It will look like a series of peaks and valleys with periods of calm in-between. Having that expectation in mind has really helped me be patient in the present.
Either way, I think the wonder weeks are a useful tool, and helped me feel not so alone when difficult times hit because I knew I wasn’t the only one going through these things.
Are you currently experiencing a wonder week? Do you prefer to plan and anticipate developmental leaps, or are you the type to go with the flow?
cantaloupe / 6730 posts
I like finding out what cool “trick” LO is about to learn. And I was freaked out by the giant grey cloud that was supposed to be over all of December for us, but you get used to the new norm and it’s not that bad.
hostess / wonderful watermelon / 39513 posts
I don’t follow them so I guess I go with the flow. I don’t want to look out for things that might not happen!
cantaloupe / 6164 posts
I don’t keep up with it regularly, but if Sadie’s having night wakings I check the app. Her WW fussiness has always manifested through whiny night time wake ups. She always STTN beautifully, so when she wakes up in the middle of the night I know something’s up. She woke up at 3:30 today, and would NOT go back to sleep. Lo and behold, we’re at week 46.
grapefruit / 4235 posts
You know, L has been super fussy and hard to put back down in his first night waking….and I just realized he’s in the beginning of wonder week 55…SIGH.
grapefruit / 4923 posts
i haven’t followed them. the first few months were all about being fussy and bewildered, so it seemed like every day was one long wonder week. i think i was on information overload anyway, and trying to keep up with wonder weeks would have tipped my scales…and caused me to throw myself out a window.
blogger / pomegranate / 3491 posts
At the beginning with C, I totally loved this book – henedtly after his first birthday, I have pretty much forgotten about it. I love how you are using it less this time since you have absorbed the wisdom to just go with the flow. I am trying to do that the same.
pomegranate / 3565 posts
My son never really followed these wonder weeks. Sometimes he’s fussy, sometimes he’s not. I figure he’s a baby and it could be anything. Plus, I found it depressing to think bad weeks were coming so often.
nectarine / 2152 posts
I don’t buy into the wonder weeks at all, personally…so I guess I’m go with the flow…
blogger / cherry / 192 posts
I always hear about the “storms” after they happen, since I’m not a huge follower of the wonder weeks but have a couple friends with babies the same age. We just finished the same leap as your LO – week 46! So clingy, horrible sleep, etc. From the get-go I’ve taken a “this too shall pass” approach when we hit rough spots, but I like knowing that I’m not crazy and it was really just a growth spurt.
pear / 1787 posts
I’m a very uptight, anal-retentive person and am trying not to be, so I haven’t followed the whole wonder weeks thing because it’s just the type of thing I would obsess over as a first time mom (my son is almost 8 weeks). I’m trying to be more laid back! Plus, when I looked into it, it seemed like there was pretty much always a wonder week so it didn’t seem that helpful to me.
grapefruit / 4213 posts
I’d rather go with the flow. I expect growth, development, and change. I don’t want to be dreading it knowing some upcoming week could be tough. Roll with the punches.
blogger / apricot / 424 posts
I was told about “The Wonder Weeks” by one of my friends shortly after I had Norah.
It completely saved my sanity in those early days. It helped me realize that that I was not going crazy, that she was going through something and even more important that it WOULD pass.
I still check in every once and a while to see what’s happening in my little one’s development. Just last week infact, I noticed she was a little off in her behaviour and low and behold there was a little storm cloud over her week on my wonder week iphone app.
I can’t say I have ever looked at it in terms of dreading things to come. Just information about “why” and what things/ activities they might enjoy while in certain phases. But I can see how Moms may be afraid of that.
blogger / kiwi / 675 posts
I think I go with the flow but I stumbled upon this at one point when my oldest was about 18mo I think and I looked back and realized those were all about the time frames in which I was “stumped” by the change.. it all makes sense
I love your parenting philosophy you are so right “it gets easy, then hard, then harder, then easier”
nectarine / 2530 posts
Yup, I believe we’re in wonder week 19. I personally find it comforting to know the why behind dramatic changes in her behavior. Also, knowing that this too shall pass!
GOLD / wonderful coffee bean / 18478 posts
I don’t buy into wonder weeks either so I’m just go with the flow!
guest
I like WW and it makes a lot of sense. We’re in the middle of WW 46 and on top of it, LO has a bad cold and is getting more teeth in. So she’s very clingy and whiney. But, this too will pass and hopefully when it does, she will have matured and learned some new skills!
persimmon / 1436 posts
I have the app on my phone and it’s been really helpful to me as a first time mom! It has helped me to understand what my little guy is going through and the suggestions on how to “help” him through the leaps has been great as well. I don’t find that I look ahead or dread the inevitable storm clouds, but I can totally understand that some people might!
GOLD / wonderful apricot / 22646 posts
DS hit some of the ww’s but he nvr followed the ww “timeline” so I stopped checking after six months or so.
I read it the other day and found out he’s a lil ahead at wonder week 64 and only has one ww left!
wonderful pomelo / 30692 posts
We’re in the same WW as you (46)! Maybe that’s why Xander’s been so fussy lately…
guest
I should be having my first any day now (due date Jan 19). My husband and I live across the nation from our families and friends temporarily and what a great reference this will be when I am feeling stuck or need advice in those difficult stages. Thank you for sharing!