To my surprise and amazement, my sweet little baby James has miraculously sprouted into a full blown little kid. One day I asked him how school was and gave him a kiss on the cheek, and it was like I had thrown acid on his face. He threw himself to the floor clawing at his face screaming. I thought maybe something bad had happened at school, but to my horror and dismay he was screaming, “No kisses, No Mommy I didn’t want a kiss.”

My jaw dropped to the floor. He was throwing this fit because I kissed his cheek. His desperate swipes at his face were because I had done something that I had done a million times before. It was like my heart was torn in a thousand pieces.


I don’t know how it happened but he is a big kid now.

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When he finally calmed down, I was able to get him to tell my why he reacted that way. He told me that he was a big boy and didn’t always need a kiss. I wanted to just crumble but I knew I needed to address this issue in a way that both of us could handle. He claimed he didn’t want ANY more kisses EVER… and there is no way in this world that I was going to stop. It seemed as though we were at an impasse. Here are the things I have figured out to combat this stubborn no kissing streak he has been on.

1. Any time he wipes off a kiss I just tell him, “Oh good, you can just wipe that off and keep it until later.” He laughs and says, “No I don’t want to get it later.” We go back and forth about keeping it safe for later. Sometimes when he thinks I am not looking, he puts that little kiss back on and I can hear him giggling as I walk away.

2. I ask for hugs and kisses. If he says yes, then I am good and I go in for a big smooch on the cheek. If he says no I tell him, “OK, I won’t give you any kisses… how about just a hug?” I can usually get hugs out of him even when he is not in the mood, so that’s not too bad. When I don’t try to give him kisses all the time, he actually misses them a bit and will often come to me and ask for a kiss. It is a very difficult part of motherhood. Eventually our little ones grow and don’t need us as much. It is a hard pill to swallow but I am working on it.

3. If he is in a good mood we play sticky kiss. I kiss my hand and plant it right on his cheek and say, “Sticky kiss.” As he wildly tries to wipe it off, I just remind him that it is still there and I can see it. He tries and tries to wipe it off and I just keep putting more on. He will run to the mirror and insist it is gone only to have me tell him it is still there and there is nothing he can do about it. It usually ends up in a big tickle fight. Every now and then he even comes up and gives me a sticky kiss first. (We are working on gently patting someone’s face vs smacking them; I have had a few big slaps recently as he grows in size and strength)

4. I told him about a mother’s first kiss. Now I must admit… I just made this one up but he really remembers it and asks me about it a couple of times a week. I told him that whenever a mother kisses her child for the first time, there is a mark left on the spot that only moms can see. It is a forever kiss because it is full of all the love a mother feels while she is waiting to meet each of her children. Every couple of days he says, “mommy where did you kiss me when I was a baby?” I lovingly touch his forehead and tell him it is still there and always will be. Sometimes he smiles and walks away and other times he curls up with me for some snuggles and asks about when he was born and how much I prayed for him.


He may be a big boy but he still needs his mamma every now and then.

I know that as my children grow older things will change. Snuggles will be less frequent and kisses may be off limits in public, but for now James and I have come to a compromise that we are both happy with. As my children age I know I have to change. I am not the mother of four precious little babies any more. I am the mother of four beautiful children and they are growing up. Sometimes it is a little faster than I would like and it takes me off guard. I have yet to figure out how to stop time but I know most moms would if they could, just for a moment, just to savor those precious times and let it really sink in. So now each time I kiss my big boy I savor that time with him. They are a gift and I appreciate every single one.