Mr. Confetti works a lot.  A LOT.  Long, hard days from Monday to Friday, along with a handful of hours on the weekend which ebb and flow (from like 5 to 15) depending on whether he is on a live deal.  He leaves the house around 7 a.m., and never makes it home for Colin’s bedtime. It is not infrequent for him to be at work past my bedtime, too.

While I know that Mr. Confetti would love to have more time with us and especially with Colin, to bathe him and put him to bed on weeknights, to share family dinners more often (or…ever), at this point in our lives and in his career path, this just is not an option right now.  In due time, as C’s bedtime gets later and Mr. C climbs the ranks at work, our hope is that our evening routines will converge for more quality time as a family.

The hours are tough, but it is a sacrifice that we are all making for our family.  Mr. Confetti’s hard work earns the money that allows me to have the privilege of being a stay at home mom.  In addition, he is very lucky to have a job that is intellectually stimulating, with great colleagues, excellent compensation and exceptional benefits.

ADVERTISEMENT

While I have just shared my rational viewpoint on the situation, by the end of a particularly grueling week, it feels like no one is thinking rationally.  This arrangement can be really tough for all parties, Mr. Confetti, Colin and me.  Originally, I had thought about sharing a post about my feelings about manning the home front day in, day out, and the weekly grind, but really, this is not just about me.

I thought I would share a bit about it from all three of our perspectives over the course of a few posts.  And I will start with that of the littlest member of our family. Since Colin can’t be interviewed (and I already mocked his thought process enough in my Day in the Life post) this post will be less of an interview and more of an explanation.

Colin and I have a great time together during the week, but as I have written about before, Colin absolutely adores his father.  He loves their morning time together (thank goodness he wakes with the sun, so my boys have 20-30 minutes together most days), and he watches his dad get ready for work the way most little boys idealize superheroes.  Mondays are tough, because after a weekend filled with more than the average amount of daddy time, it’s hard to switch gears to be with mom all day.  I get a ton of dad requests on Mondays.

The next few days go a bit smoother.  The “bye-byes” when Daddy leaves for work get far fewer tears (sometimes even none), but by Thursday or Friday, Colin is usually whimpering for his Dada by bedtime, and I have to gently remind him that he will see his dad in the morning.  We look at pictures and videos and give Dada kisses when he gets sad.  On weeks when Mr. C is traveling, we try to Skype or Facetime if scheduling allows (and if not, Mr. Confetti pre-records videos of himself, so Colin thinks they are Facetiming – thankfully he is young enough that he barely understands the difference, and doesn’t seem to mind).

I have learned to stop showing the pictures and videos within about an hour of bedtime, so C doesn’t get so worked up about missing Daddy that he doesn’t fall asleep easily. I’ve learned to skip reading books that mention “Daddy” when I know C is missing him most, to avoid an unnecessary meltdown.  Most important, I have had to embrace the fact that I cannot be all things for my child.  While he loves us both, he has certain things that he does with Daddy (crazy spin moves, special chase games, etc.) that, while I could certainly try, I cannot replicate.  They are special because they are the things Daddy does. Colin misses them during the week, but come Saturday, he gets TONS of family time, which compensates for the minimal time together 5 out of 7 days.

Stay tuned for more about this from Mr. Confetti’s perspective and my own.

Anyone else out there juggling parenting with extremely long work hours (yours or your partners)?  How does your LO handle it?  Any tips to make them feel better when they miss mom or dad?