Hellobee

My LO isn’t old enough for this yet, but I got a major one as a kid! I was really scared of bad weather when I was little, and my mom told me that there couldn’t be a tornado while it was raining. I mean, I get why this must have been tempting since I basically freaked out every time there was a storm because I was sure there would be a tornado. But it majorly blew up in her face when a tornado did really happen – and yes, of course it was raining!

My dad told me innocent ones like, “chocolate milk comes from the brown cows” and that our big old Cadillac could fly but only when we went 55mph which was coincidentally speeding on most of the roads around our house, lol. So we could never see if it really did fly.

My aunt used to tell her boys that eating broccoli made them smart! So before each exam or they were struggling with homework, they asked to have some broccoli. haha

I love this. I also say the “it’s spicy” for food I don’t want him to eat.

For places I don’t want him to go/roam like your “poopoo” reference – I always find words posted anywhere and “read” them to him. I’ll say, “Oh man! This sign says No. Kids. Allowed.” or “Park is shut down for repairs” etc.

I used to hate getting my hair washed as a kid. Maybe No More Tears didn’t exist back then, or my mom didn’t buy it, because I hated getting the soap in my eyes. So, my mom told me that if I didn’t spiders would grow in my hair. I’m 30 and still scream like a baby if I see a spider.

these crack me up. i’ll have to keep them in mind.

We told our daughter that the ‘ice cream truck’ was a music truck. She is 4 and still believes it!

I also tell her that things are closed when I don’t want to take her somewhere.

These are way funny. >D Only ones I can think of that my parents told me are ones to help me… Like when my dad told me that I had to scrub out a deeper cut on my knee (it had sand and dirt in it) or else I’d be taken to the doctors and he’d have to scrub it out in a very mean way. I don’t actually think now that it was ever that bad, but he wanted to make sure I took care of myself and got over the fear of the pain.

LOL, we do the spicy lie too! She knows what spicy is (she used to think sriracha was ketchup and learned the hard way it wasn’t) so she never wants anything we tell her is spicy.

Too funny, I use the broken lie for annoying toys.

The park is closed! That is fantastic, I need to start using that on Aliya…

My friend tells her 2 year old that “It’s broken”.
“Burger!” “Burger King is broken” “:Boken?” “Broken.”
“Frozen!!” “Frozen is broken”

I tell my 9 month old the ‘stairs are sleeping’, when he keeps wanting to go up them for the 5 millionth time. He doesn’t understand yet, so we still go up them…..

I say “the park is closed” all the time.

@wonderstruck: Oh no!! How did you react when you learned the truth? What a terrible way to learn the truth!

@abbydabbydoodlebug: Hahaha, those are fantastic! Your dad is so creative and funny!

@Alivoo01: This reminds me of another one my parents told me – they said that if I eat salmon before an exam it’ll make me smarter, so I always made sure to eat my fish before big tests, and I worried that if I didn’t eat fish I’d do bad. There’s some truth to it with the omega-3s and such, but they grossly exaggerated its effects, lol.

@theknest: That’s a great idea! I’ll have to tuck that into my parenting toolkit.

@Mrs. Jump Rope: Eeek… I would freak the @#^& out… I’m a grown woman and still shriek and run to my husband when I see spiders.

@PixieStix: I’d like to think some of my white lies are helping my toddler too, like getting them to eat healthy foods that are good for them, or wanting them to avoid bad situations!

@Freckles: That’s so funny how many toddlers avoid “spicy” like the plague, I thought I was the only one!

@Jen: Ohh I use the “sleeping” lie too – like when she wants to go to the carousel I’ll tell her that the horsies are sleeping and that she needs to sleep too. I love the response, “Oh. Horsie is sleeping? We go another time when horsie wake?”…

@antryon: We don’t have an ice cream truck around here, but that’s a great one! I can imagine the kids begging for ice cream every time that truck rolled around…

Park is closed, batteries are broken, TV is broken, too spicy…The list goes on…

“It’s too spicy for you.” When really I just don’t want her to eat it.

Some of these have me laughing out loud! We’ve had our share too… But the best is one my sister actually told Mini. He was harassing her to go downstairs into the basement at my parents house, but it wasn’t an adventure she was up for. (It was a typical basement… Dark and tons of stuff piled high.) so she told him there were buffalo down there. (He’s terrified.) to this day, he won’t go in the basement. (And if he’s running somewhere like a loony toon… We tell him to watch out for the hidden bison and he comes tearing back.)

We use broken for toys I can’t stand, I also often “lose” them. And the TV is often “not working today” or Chuggington “isn’t on today” because he saw it once and asks for “chugg-ton” all the freaking time now.

My mom told me that during the day, little invisible bugs attach themselves to your clothes so that’s why you can’t sleep in your “day” clothes or go under the bed covers in them. To this day, I cannot sleep or go under the covers in my “day” clothes! (And I don’t allow Mr. Pencil either, haha)

@Mrs. Paintbrush: Gosh, your comments are the best and always have me chuckling out loud! Bison?! Buffalo?! These excuses are so far out of my Socal world that I would never even have thought them up… they’re all kinds of awesome, and I can only imagine the look on Mini’s face, hahaha!

@Mrs. Stroller: Yes, I do the “lose them” excuse too, and I also say this or that is “sleeping”!

@Mrs. Pencil: What!? That is a really traumatizing little lie – she’s lucky it didn’t backfire on her! What if it made you never want to go to sleep?? That would be a parent’s worst nightmare.

LOL I never thought of it that way! But she told me when I was in elementary school so I think I was old enough. But still.. that gave me visuals and it worked!

To this day I won’t drink egg nog because my grandfather told mr that it will put hair in my chest.

@californiadreams: Hahaha, what!??! That’s so funny, and makes no sense!! LOL, I LOVE IT!! Why didn’t they want you to drink eggnog?

@Mrs. High Heels: Oh, his face is always priceless. Especially when he was four and got away from me in a Federal building and was heading for the records room. I just yelled, “That’s where the Buffalos sleep!” and he turned on a dime and came tearing back with this look of “Oh dear, there is no where *safe*!” He left a path of doubled-over-with-laughter state workers in his wake. (Now don’t you really want to meet him?!)

@Mrs. Paintbrush: Meet him!?!? Talk about understatement of the year – I want to KEEP him!!! I can’t get enough of him (and YOU! Your accounts of him are just as hilarious – you guys are a match made in heaven) – I miss reading your updates on FB too because I deactivated my account!

@Mrs. High Heels: Watch out! I can put him on a plane to SoCal within hours. (And I’m barely on FB these days… I just can’t keep up.)