Around Mother’s Day, I see all kinds of nice little sayings about mothers on Facebook or blog posts about how wonderful mothers are. I don’t know if it is only me, but it seems to not be reciprocated for all the fathers out there. So I thought I would share the importance of fathers.
It seems like fathers often get the short end of the stick as far as credit for parenting goes. Most of the time we hear things like, “Oh Dad is babysitting the kids today.” Or “Let’s see how much trouble the family gets into while mom is away.” The stigma that is often put on fatherhood confuses me. When Mr. Train is out with our kids, he often gets comments like, “Wow, way to go for getting out with all those kids,” or “Oh My you are so brave.” (No one has ever called me brave while I am wandering around Target with all four kids… just saying.) It just seems like everyone is shocked when dads take over and participate in parenting.
Moms give great hugs and snuggles but there is something safe and comforting about a hug from your dad.
Well, let me tell you — I just don’t think fatherhood should be looked at that way. Dads are just as remarkable and just as deserving of our praise as moms are. It’s a full time job just like being a mother. There are definitely some differences. There is the initial physical aspect to carrying a baby. Sure, that’s all on us mothers. A mother’s body goes through a lot to bring a child into this world. There is not the same physical pain for fathers, but they have to be just as strong. I could not imagine watching my husband go through what I went through with fertility meds and then finally pregnancy and delivery. I would have been a mess if our roles were changed. If he was the one with pre-eclampsia or the one whose blood pressure tanked on the operating table, I don’t know how I would have handled it. He, like so many other fathers, was my rock during all we went through to have our children. He was a father long before our kids ever took their first breaths.
My parents took this picture and I am just in awe of him. Not only did he have to leave his unconscious spouse on the operating table with some scary blood pressure issues, but he also had to make all decisions for the well being of our children for the next four hours before I recovered.
In those early days of parenthood, we were both learning who we were as parents and who these little people were that were now a part of our lives. I might have known a little more about basic baby care like changing diapers because I had been around my nephews and niece, but he jumped right in and started learning.
Mr. Train has always been very active in our kids’ lives. He is hands on and involved all the time. He takes time off for school activity days, he rearranges his schedule for performances and events, he is always there when the kids need him. They wait by his office door for him to get off of work so they can have some daddy play time, and he never lets them down. He is right there for a wrestling session or a bike ride around the block.
Just another afternoon slippin’ and slidin’ with dad.
Mr. Train and I, like so many other parents, are partners in this. We are not exactly the same. He parents differently than I do. He might prepare different meals than I would. He might read stories differently than I do. He might do bath time and bed time differently and that’s OK. So many of the dads I have talked to and become friends with have said they often felt like the moms did everything right and they were just bumbling along. I have told them and Mr. Train that it simply isn’t true. The way mom does it might be different, but it doesn’t make it better or right. Our kids love and need our variety.
He is the relaxed easy going one.
As a parent myself I have a new appreciation for my own father. I wish I could scream it from the roof tops. DADS ARE AWESOME!!! I grew up with an involved dad who inspired my career as a teacher. He taught me how to live a good life. He taught me how to have faith. He taught me how to be a responsible person, and now he is helping me become a better parent.
As I think about this coming Sunday, I can’t imagine how anything I could do could thank the men in my life for all they have done for me and my children. I cannot express how much my own father means to me. I cannot imagine my kids having a better man in their life than Mr. Train. I can plan a nice day and make their favorite foods, I can buy them presents and we can spend a fun day together, but it just doesn’t seem to do them justice.
Fathers play an amazing role in their children’s lives. They don’t just babysit while mom is away. They don’t mess up or do things wrong all the time. Dads parent their children. I would not be the same person without my father and my kids are lucky to have Mr. Train.
So this weekend remind them how fantastic they are. Remind them that being a father is a crazy hard job and that they are rock stars!
eggplant / 11716 posts
Thank you for this. I loved it!
hostess / wonderful persimmon / 25556 posts
Awesome post! Dads are the best.
pomegranate / 3601 posts
Love it! Well said.
blogger / pomegranate / 3491 posts
Amen! Love this post.
GOLD / wonderful coconut / 33402 posts
Loved this!!!
kiwi / 511 posts
So true, Dad are important and my DH is an amazing Dad to our sons. This week really highlights how awesome Dads are but it also highlights how poorly Dads are treated in the media as a bumbling buffoon. I wish there was a comeback for Dads.
GOLD / wonderful pomegranate / 28905 posts
I absolutely agree. There are just as many crappy moms as there are crappy dads but dads get all the bad rap.
Love this blog post!
blogger / apricot / 335 posts
Beautifully stated and agree!! Mr train is a great dad!!
pomegranate / 3921 posts
This is awesome. You’ve got me so excited to see my husband as a dad next year. Thanks for this great, thoughtful post!
GOLD / cantaloupe / 6581 posts
Love this! Thank you for writing it. My DH is a wonderful, involved Dad, and I am incredibly grateful for him. I agree that they get the short end of the appreciation stick, which is a shame!
blogger / eggplant / 11551 posts
Did you see the recent DoveMen commercial in honor of Fathers? DH and I watched it together, and we both got a bit teary – it reminded me so much of him, and my own father!
What a great, involved father Mr. Train is – great post!
wonderful pomelo / 30692 posts
Love this!!! And what beautiful photos!
persimmon / 1147 posts
Absolutely! Great post
kiwi / 566 posts
I love this post! I always get so annoyed when I see things on Facebook that say things like “If a mom was incompetent, she’d be a dad” (that’s not exactly what it says, but something very similar!) or commercials where the mom goes out of town and the dad has the house in total disarray and can’t handle the kids. Yes, moms and dads are different, but fathers are just as capable as mothers of being good parents. Are there some crappy dads? Yes, but there are also some crappy moms! My husband, for one, is fantastic, and actually is the more traditionally “mothering” one: he is more nurturing in a lot of ways, the one who rocks the baby to sleep, and the one who stays at home while I work. Mr. Train is clearly one of those fantastic dads too!
pear / 1786 posts
Wonderful post!!! Thank you!
blogger / wonderful cherry / 21616 posts
Beautiful post!! and I wholeheartedly agree – Dads parent. The end!
grapefruit / 4731 posts
Such cute pictures.
Amazing dad!
blogger / pear / 1563 posts
Yes! SO true! I couldn’t do this parenting thing without Mr. P!
blogger / cherry / 113 posts
Way to recognize dads! I feel like in our society that men really get the short end of the stick with recognition. And I love the pic of your husband and the baby sleeping on him.
blogger / clementine / 750 posts
Amen! My husband is such a freaking amazing father, and it’s sad to see that his role as a dad isn’t the norm in society today. Loved this post!
blogger / persimmon / 1220 posts
Great post!
blogger / nectarine / 2600 posts
Love this!!!
blogger / persimmon / 1398 posts
I adore this post!! So, so true!!!
blogger / nectarine / 2687 posts
i love this. what a beautiful tribute.
blogger / nectarine / 2010 posts
DH has been away for a few week mission and there’s nothing like time away (especially during a particularly rough time like this has been) to remind us how awesome dad is. Especially in the early morning and at bed time