I love swimming and was fortunate to grow up with a swimming pool where my sisters and I spent most of our summer days. I’ve always envisioned having a pool as an adult, but so far this is not a reality. In some respects, I know this is a blessing because watching children around a pool can be a full-time job. But swimming was a really big part of my childhood and is a very big summer activity where we live, so I’ve never questioned that my kids would have to learn to swim.
When Gemma was about 15 months old we enrolled in some mommy and me swim classes. It was a fun activity but I am not sure I’d qualify it as educational for a baby; I can’t say either way if she actually learned anything from it, but at least it was an introduction to water.
This year, at 3 years old, and with daily temperatures hovering around 100 degrees, I made a commitment that I had to get her swimming at least halfway decently. Now that I have baby Summer, I need some assurance that Gemma won’t be in danger if we want to go swimming at my parents’ or sister’s house and I am responsible for them both.
I arranged ten private lessons for her and the experience is something to definitely be shared. This was hard work–for both of us. The teacher was intense; she was congenial but firm and at three Gemma, had never experienced anything of this nature. The first lesson was hard. Gemma has a very stubborn and independent personality and her swim instructor had zero tolerance for her negotiation skills. Oftentimes, when she is feeling fearful, she tries to lesson the blow of something new by thinking outside the box. I think this is a great skill that applies in many situations but in this particular one, her instructor mistook it for defiance and made her swim more and more before moving on in the lesson. This type of negative reinforcement is not something that I practice in my parenting style so I felt very uncomfortable with it. Truth be told, we both wanted to quit after the first lesson.
After discussing it at length with my husband however, we both agreed that it would be best to work through the lessons and continue on. We did some research on different types of swim instruction and found that lessons of this intensity were actually quite common and necessary for a quick timeline advancement in skill. We agreed that although the instructor was quite strict, we wanted Gemma to learn to swim through these lessons and perhaps it was going to take hard work.
Each day was filled with anxiety and tears 30 minutes prior to the lesson, but after each lesson she had a huge sense of accomplishment and pride. Her skills grew dramatically fast. She learned to swim with her head underwater, a rudimentary dive, how to retrieve rings from the shallow end, float, jump in and swim across the pool and get her own breaths when in need.
Though these lessons were a lot of work for her and me (and her baby sister who proudly cheered her on in 100 degree weather each day), they were so worth it. I can now take her swimming with some level of confidence and feel secure in letting other family members swim with her and watch her around a pool.
If you choose to go the fast-paced swim instruction route and come up against some anxiety and fearfulness of lessons, here are a few things that helped us:
– a new swim wardrobe. I bought her a new towel and suit and set up a swim bag that she had a love-hate relationship with during the week. Overall, I think it helped when getting ready each day.
– youtube videos of other kids swimming underwater. This was a completely random, last ditch effort to salvage a smile and it really worked so well! Gemma was so inspired to learn to swim by seeing other children that could swim.
– incentive. We marked off the lessons on the calendar and at the end of them I planned a special trip to the zoo and a new princess dress up costume that she could work toward.
– strength. I had to be really strong even though I was ready to throw in the towel for her. It wasn’t easy watching her be scared to let go and jump into the water and swim, but I realized I had to be strong because there will be days I’m not there to “save” her.
– lots of rest. After each lesson she was completely wiped out so I really didn’t fill our days up too much during this time because it took so much energy each day.
Are you attempting swim lessons this summer?
wonderful clementine / 24134 posts
Great post! I really need to do this because like you said, the “mommy and me” class was really just an introduction to the pool and water, not really a swim lesson.
GOLD / grapefruit / 4555 posts
Not this year but we’ll probably look into swim lessons next year. My neighbor just installed a pool in his backyard and we’ve been invited to enjoy it but I’m hesitant to until they’ve had some instruction since I can barely swim myself.
apricot / 453 posts
We did lessons at 2 years 10 months and it was not good – we didn’t finish them. My son just had a meltdown during each lesson – he was always excited to go and jump in the water but HATED doing the lesson part, he just wanted to play.
So did Gemma cry during the lessons and just power thru? Or was it all pre-lesson anxiety? What a tough girl.
I guess we’ll try again next year…
pomelo / 5298 posts
We NEED to do this. Our LO will be 3 next month and we have a pool in our backyard. She loves the water and is like a fish, but we have yet to remove her puddle jumper. She loves jumping off the diving board as well. Unfortunately, she doesn’t keep her mouth closed and drinks more than her fair share of pool water every time we are in the pool.
Is Gemma a early or late 3? I’m trying to determine if we should still try to do this, this summer or next summer.
pomegranate / 3503 posts
My daughter’s swim school is also pretty aggressive in their teaching. Overall, she didn’t complain too much but when she did, temporary tattoos worked well for us. She was so happy to show them off for the next class.
blogger / persimmon / 1220 posts
Yes, we started this as well; since I’m due in a couple weeks we could only do 8 lessons and will probably have to get her lessons again another time.
blogger / pomegranate / 3491 posts
We are starting group lessons next week. I know we will eventually need some kind of intense instruction, but since we have minimal pool access where we live (and a super short warm season), I am not in a huge hurry. I am glad Gemma got a lot out of the lessons!
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Our neighborhood pool has a parent and me swim lessons for 6month – 3 year old. My 1 year old has been doing it with his Dad, so far so good. He can’t do much but at least he isn’t freaked out about the water.
blogger / eggplant / 11551 posts
We did semi-private lessons with @Mrs Checkers: ‘s daughter – it helped to do semi-private to get them comfortable with a new teacher together. But yea we only did 8 lessons, and don’t feel like it’s enough!
hostess / wonderful persimmon / 25556 posts
I hear ya. We did swim lessons this summer with our 2 year old. It was SO HARD to have someone tell her what to do and not be able to coddle her through it. That was good for both of us, though. We went to the beach a few weeks ago and I am so glad we did those lessons. She was jumping off the side of the pool deck like a champ and ran right into the ocean like she owned the place.
I can’t wait until next year when she can really learn to swim now that she’s not afraid of going underwater (and I’m not afraid of her going under either!)
blogger / pear / 1563 posts
That sounds great! We aren’t doing swim lessons this year because I really didn’t like the one we tried last summer, but maybe in a year I’ll give it another-go.
These lessons sound like exactly what you need to have your LO confident in the water.
blogger / kiwi / 675 posts
@theknest: Gemma had sort of the opposite problem, she didn’t want to start but once she started she was okay. The initial jumping in or swimming off the step were hard for her; mostly it was pre-lesson anxiety. @MamaG: G is an early three yo so she’s actually a little over 3 1/2. @BoogieBea: what a great idea! The teacher gave out stamps everyday which she enjoyed too. @Mrs Checkers: @Mrs. High Heels: Actually Gemma did these lessons with a close friend too; they each had a private instructor but were doing them simultaneously; I do think it helped a bit as well. @mediagirl: It was hard! I bet next year won’t be as hard for you guys though since she’s already done a lot of leg work. Friends of ours had their daughter in private lessons since about 18mos and she did very well at 3 this year! @Mrs. Pinata: completely!
apricot / 370 posts
thank you for this post; I currently have my 4 YO in a swim class, with 3 other kids, but progress seems quite slow, and perhaps after reading your article, might invest in private lessons. how long was each class? are you continuing with additional lessons?
blogger / kiwi / 675 posts
@kakimochi: Each class was 30 minutes and she did so well that I actually don’t think we’ll need anymore lessons!!
blogger / honeydew / 7081 posts
Fun! We took ‘mommy and me’ swim class this year, but when she is older, we would love to have someone come to the house and teach her.
blogger / nectarine / 2600 posts
I tried swim classes with Drake this year and it didnt go too well. I heard of another school by us that can get kids swimming in 2 weeks but sadly even with their great discounts we cant do it this summer because of our vacation coming up. I do worry a little waiting a year to do it with Drake at 5 might be a little old but on the other hand I think 5 is still young.
blogger / pomegranate / 3300 posts
We did swim two summers ago. It was short and intense but eventually the kids liked it. we haven’t done any lessons for Lilly and I am trying to decide if we are going to or if we are going to just teach her ourselves.
pomelo / 5866 posts
We are 2 lessons away from finishing and I’ve seen some steady progress but LO is saying she doesn’t want to continue for the fall. She’s 3 1/2 and doesn’t like the teachers telling her what to do-specifically practicing floats in the deep end-but I was thinking maybe it’s just the particular teacher.
So I was all set to put her in pre-ballet again but now, I’m reconsidering signing her up for both and have her stick through it even though it’s not her preference since she’s made good gains. Swimming for about 5-10 seconds with no push off and diving for toys in shallow. I’m just concerned about her regressing during the break if I wait until winter or spring session. Thoughts?
Basically give her time to get her hungry for it. Now I’m not too worried about regression if it’s only 6-9 months.
ETA: Just read some stuff online and deciding that for my LO I will concentrate on continuing to make swimming fun and regular in a no-lesson-off-season way for now (waterpark, community pool) and then sign her up next year when she is ‘ready’ and excited again.
blogger / persimmon / 1398 posts
Our oldest took swim lessons and it was a huge failure. He just wasn’t ready for that level of intensity on something he wasn’t a fan of. I wish we had waited until this past year (five). I’m hoping it goes better with our younger son!
blogger / nectarine / 2687 posts
i did not do mommy and me classes because i knew CB wouldn’t get anything out of it in terms of actual swim instruction (i think he would have just clung to me!), so we waited until he was old enough (3) to do small group classes. his teacher for the last 2 years has been this lovely older woman, who is kind of like a grandma figure to the kiddos. she’s very loving and kind, but firm and strict, which is the exact balance CB needs. he’s swimming a ton now, but still needs to work on treading water to come up for air!
blogger / clementine / 998 posts
wow three! i don’t think i learned how to swim till i was 7!
blogger / kiwi / 675 posts
@808love: I was concerned about the regression too; but am planning the same approach as you! Mainly because it is SUPER expensive!! I plan to practice in my parents pool as much as possible too
blogger / kiwi / 675 posts
@Mrs. Cowgirl: that sounds like a wonderful teacher. Ours was good too but just a bit hard on Gemma .