This time last year, I was just starting to get my bearings in the ‘new-mom’ world. While it was challenging and exciting all at the same time, it was also EMBARRASSING. I did so many ridiculous things, went out in public looking like a complete trainwreck, and garbled my words in a sleep-deprived haze. It was a time to remember, folks…I was one classy lady. Here are some of the sure-fire signs you’re deep in the trenches of new mama-hood (as learned from experience):
1. Styling your hair and putting on makeup makes you feel fancy, and like you accomplished something great.
2. Eating lunch directly out of the refrigerator is quick, easy, and saves on dishes.
3. Making coffee in the morning comes first, before brushing your teeth, getting dressed, or peeing.
4. Going out in public with spit up on your shirt warrants no more than a shrug. Mama’s accessorizing, yo.
5. Stores/malls are ranked in preference according to: accessibility to a change station, stroller-friendly aisles, and nice-ness of places to nurse. Bonus points if the nursing room has recliners and/or a TV.
6. Though gas is expensive, it might just be worth draining the tank if driving in circles will guarantee that baby stays asleep.
7. Boogers, poop, drool and spit up are just an every day part of life. Discussing these things is also completely normal.
8. When the TV is your kid’s only accepted form of white noise during naps, you watch a whole lot of crap. Some good shows…but mostly crap. (read: My Teenage Wedding, Bridezillas, I’m In Love with a Doll, etc.)
9. When choosing just one load of laundry to get done, the odds are you shrug, decide to wear your yoga pants another day, and toss in a load of sleepers and onesies.
10. After a long day of church, errands and dinner with the family, you notice something bunched up in your jeans. And, because you’re just so classy, yesterday’s underwear falls out of your pant leg. You’re stylin’, lady.
How have you waved your new mom flag lately?
grapefruit / 4235 posts
I am not a new mom and still practice #3. always have. Well, while pregnant, peeing comes first, but coffee is a close second at all the other times in my life.
guest
11. A trip to the mail box is considered a worthwhile outing
Also don’t forget when you completely forget to brush your teeth until 2 in the afternoon because the morning was a blur of sleep deprivation and inability to put the baby down.
pomegranate / 3225 posts
spit up is the new black!
grapefruit / 4089 posts
I LOLed at the underwear falling out of your pants! This list is gold.
pear / 1852 posts
I remember well so many of these, lol
clementine / 830 posts
Even #1 is way too overachieving for me in those days, heck I feel pretty if I showered 3 times that week!
Also, going out with your nursing tank unhooked.
blogger / persimmon / 1398 posts
This list had me laughing! Thanks for starting my day off on the right foot!
guest
Ha- for me it was also prioritizing in my head: hmmmm should I brush my teeth, shower, or eat!???