When it comes to Christmas, I grew up with a very strict sense of what the holiday meant. Yes, as a Christian, it is a celebration of the birth of Christ, and that was always an important part of what we did. But in my household, while all of that was recognized, Christmas meant something different.
Christmas meant traditions.
Shortly after my birthday (near the end of November), the house was transformed in an evening. Pictures and vases were swept off the mantle, and an evergreen garland studded with lights and ribbons went in their place. The native-inspired Beverly Doolittle print was replaced with a large painting of Santa (with dozens of children hidden in his beard. Not as creepy as it sounds). The tree went up, Mama spent the better part of an hour making sure the lights were evenly spaced, and then the boxes of decorations were hauled out. We spent more time examining each ornament, reminiscing about when it joined our family, than we did actually hanging them. Ornaments were placed and re-placed, ensuring even spacing across the boughs (and Mama checked them all over…just to make sure). Apple cider bubbled on the stove, and our favourite Christmas song (Merry Christmas to the Family, by Rosie O’Donnell and the Dixie Chicks. Classy.) played on repeat. It was that night that both Christmas movies and music began their nightly rotation.
Christmas Eve brought breakfast out, a tradition started the year Mr. O and I began dating. (Our first date was on Christmas Eve…for breakfast…with my parents). On the home front, the tray of baked goods was never allowed to hit the ‘half-full’ stage; someone was constantly sent to the freezer in the basement to restock on Hello Dollies, shortbread, gingerbread, marshmallow squares, and butter tarts. Family poured through the door, filling the guest bedrooms and camping out on available floor space. We ate tourtiere for dinner, and dressed up for church that evening. Church was early in the evening; early enough that we could get home in time to watch Santa drive by on our village’s lone firetruck.
One present was set out for each of us to open before bed Christmas Eve. Though the prospect of present-opening was exciting, we all knew what these packages contained. Pyjamas. Always pyjamas. Sometimes my sister and I matched, occasionally, all of the cousins co-ordinated. But every year, without fail, we had a new set of jammies to change into. So we bundled up in our new gifts, climbed into bed, and listened to a parent (or uncle) read The Night Before Christmas. And then, knowing full well that Mama would have us awake at the crack of dawn, we drifted off to sleep.
Christmas Day had its own traditions as well; everything from how stockings were wrapped and opened, to what we ate for brunch, and whether or not it was acceptable to get dressed before noon.
As we got older, these traditions began to change. Cousins got married and moved away, others had jobs that kept them from travelling. Boyfriends and girlfriends entered the scene, resulting in the need to split time between families. Diets put a damper on the sheer number of treats that were baked and put on display. And then, when Mr. O and I got married and moved up north, things changed again.
Because Christmas traditions were so firmly ingrained in my head, it was a real shock for me to realize that I wasn’t the only one that had a firm idea of what the holidays looked like. But a marriage is a partnership, and I quickly learned that Christmas traditions weren’t my way or the highway. We had to figure out which traditions stayed and which went, which would become part of our own family holiday, and which would become a memory of Christmases past. We’re still figuring this out, especially now that Little Oats is part of our family. We alternate Christmas Eves/mornings with our families, but we know eventually we will have to settle in and have people come to us. I know we can’t have both a Christmas movie AND Christmas pyjamas to open on Christmas Eve. I know that Rosie O’Donnell’s Christmas album isn’t to everyone’s taste. And I know that we’ll come up with our own traditions that become a lasting part of Little Oats’ life.
How did you decide which traditions to keep? When did you decide to make your own?
hostess / cantaloupe / 6486 posts
This post gave me the warm fuzzies.
Luckily for me (quite sadly for my poor DH) his family never did much in the way of traditions so I basically get free reign unless it’s just really something that doesn’t sound fun to him. So far the only thing we haven’t decided on is if we will do Santa with our kids or not. My brother & I always knew he wasn’t real but would still make cookies for him sometimes just for the heck of it but DH grew up believing. Thankfully we still have another year or so before we have to decide!
clementine / 927 posts
Christmas was never a big deal to my family. But my husband and I started going to get a live tree together and it’s my favorite tradition now. My stepdaughter loves it, and we make it as fun an outing as possible. Can’t wait to take LO this year!
GOLD / wonderful coconut / 33402 posts
When we got married, it was given that Christmas Eve would always be with my whole family. I am not willing to give that up. Especially since DH’s family doesn’t have any traditions. We would stay at my parents that night, where everyone got together, and then after presents Christmas Day we drive to the IL’s. Now that LO is here, we leave Christmas Eve night so we are home for Santa and Christmas is just the three of us. His family isn’t thrilled with it, but I don’t want LO spending her Christmas in the car. It was depressing every year for me, and DH and I agree we aren’t going to do that to her.
kiwi / 511 posts
We keep the ones that make sense, and whichever one of us has the strongest pull. DH and I both had tradition of extended family get togethers on Christmas Eve but neither of us gets that day off so we got rid of that one. (We may take the day as a vacation day but it depends on what company we are with at the time so there is no consistency). We did agree no running on Christmas Day other than to church, so we host a cookies and cocoa shortly after Christmas for extended family.
Keeps for me, advent calendar my Mom made, oranges in the toe of the stocking. Christmas tree goes up the Saturday after Thanksgiving (since I have to work on the Friday after). Early Christmas cards, pre kids I had them out the Friday after Thanksgiving, the first two years with kids well they were closer to Christmas but I am getting closer to my November mail date!
Keep for my DH presents from Santa and parents. Honestly this is so hard for me. Growing up I never got a Christmas present from my parents they were all from Santa, even after we “knew”. DH did get presents from his parents….this rubs me the wrong way but we decided 1-2 presents from us and 2-3 from Santa.
New- cookies and cocoa, The Magic Christmas Key (book), and who knows maybe more as the kids get older.
https://www.wendellaugust.com/items/11919_santas_magic_key_-_book_and_key_set
Oh and Christmas stuff stays up until Epiphany.
blogger / nectarine / 2043 posts
Our families have never celebrated Christmas for a variety of reasons, so we’re actually able to create our own traditions as a result. Which is exciting, and I’m definitely going to be thinking about that more this year since Baby C will be a year and a half and a little more engaged than last year.
honeydew / 7295 posts
Aww so excited about christmas and reading this post ramped it up! I’m really looking forward to starting our own traditions with our kids.
P.s I’m sure you could open pajamas whilst watching a Xmas movie too!
wonderful pea / 17279 posts
Growing up: soon after Thanksgiving the tree would go up, santas and angels figurines would be placed all through the house, faux garland would go on surfaces and wrapped on stairs. We even has holiday guest towels and decorative pillows and throws. The Temptations Christmas album was played on repeat in my house. We made cookies for Santa, received Christmas Eve pajamas, and woke up at the butt-crack of dawn. One gift was always hidden so we could play a game of hot & cold. We drank hot chocolate or coffee in the big mugs and dressed up in the evening for a feast.
I don’t know what we will do differently. Neither of us have strong opinions on the matter.
blogger / eggplant / 11551 posts
That sounds like a lovely way to grow up! It must’ve been entrancing as a kid for the house to be transformed in an evening. I didn’t really have many Christmas traditions growing up, so it’s so important for me to create our own. I love the holidays more than ever now that I have a family of my own to share them with!
P.S. Love how you spell PJ’s, “pyjamas”! How is it pronounced?
grapefruit / 4731 posts
Such a cute post. We didn’t have traditions growing up. It was kind of a shot in the dark what my parents would do for xmas.
I wanted to have a more “traditions” in the family life for my kids which I have been trying to do, this is such a sweet post. I know now that when they grow up not to be disappointed when our traditions will have to change.
Even now we have had to tweak some of our traditions recently because of visiting family and I was a bit stressed out about but I know I have to roll with the punches more.
blogger / persimmon / 1398 posts
I’m late to this post… but I really loved it!! We didn’t make any of our “own” traditions until our oldest came home. And now that our youngest is home, I feel another shift coming. I think the hubs and I are “evolutionists” more than “traditionalists” … And I’m ok with that!