Hellobee

Oh my, where to begin…

I didn’t blog my pregnancy with Lil’ Tea Cup. I am not sure why exactly, but when I found out I was pregnant with Lil’ Tea Pot, I suddenly had nothing to say all over again. Something about pregnancy seems to bring out my intensely private side – which frankly is not the best for being a blogger. I did announce my pregnancy here on Hellobee ( here is the link if you are interested), but that was it before my hiatus.

I will say that this pregnancy was tougher then my first. I had “night” sickness followed by sciatic nerve troubles, placenta issues and then by the end I was just plain giant and in so much pain – none of which I had the first go round. However, it could have been much much worse and by 40 weeks, I was grateful to be growing  a healthy babe that would eventually have to be born ( right?! ). You see, my children have their own agendas when it comes to birthdates. I was induced at 6 days late with Lil’ Tea Cup ( you can read her birth story here ) and after my due date came and went with Lil’ Tea Pot, it appeared that the same thing was going to happen.  As it turned out, his entrance into the world was a little more dramatic then I had imagined…

39 1/2 weeks pregnant

Tuesday – 5 days past due date

Early Tuesday morning, I started to feel more and more consistent contractions. Not really painful, but uncomfortable enough for me to start wondering if the little guy was finally on his way. I started timing and noticed that they were around 5 to 7 minutes apart. I called my parents and asked them if they could come over and pick up Lil’ Tea Cup so that we could head in to triage to get checked out. After a tearful goodbye with my two year old, we headed off to the hospital.

On the way to the hospital I noticed that  the contractions had slowed down, but I was still really hopeful that maybe I would be seeing my little guy sooner rather than later. On the way up to the family birthing center of the hospital in the elevator, I thought I felt some leaking and wondered out loud to my husband excitedly that maybe my water had broken. Sadly, when we got to triage and I got hooked up to the monitors, the contractions had slowed to 10 minutes apart and there was no sign of broken waters. Also it appeared that my cervix was very very high. This is not a great sign when you are hoping to be in labour, not to mention cervical checks are absolute hell for me. Basically they always tell me that I am not dilated because they can’t reach anything. However it is not necessarily true as when I was in labour with lil’ Tea Cup, I was 4 cm dilated and they couldn’t tell because they couldn’t reach my cervix. One doctor finally managed which is how I know this.

After an extremely unpleasant check by the doctor that was on call that day, I was told to go home and wait until my planned foley induction in the morning.  I honestly was a little relieved to be heading home to wait until the foley insertion the next day to have a different doctor as I did not care for her manner, but I was frustrated as well with not progressing. However there was nothing to be done so we headed home to pick up Lil’ Tea Cup and try again the next day.

Wednesday ( New Year’s Eve ) – 6 days past due date and foley insertion day 

The next morning the process repeated itself all over again. We woke up, packed up big sister for Grandma and Grandpa’s house, had another tearful goodbye with her and headed in. We were met in triage by a great nurse who kept us smiling and laughing throughout the morning, even though we would soon learn things would not go as planned. We had to wait for quite a while in triage as the doctor that was inserting the foley was operating, but we enjoyed the time together listening to Lil’ Tea Pot’s heart beat on the monitor, snacking on bad hospital vending machine food and talking about what our little guy would be like.

wishing and hoping and thinking and praying

After a few hours, the doctor came in to insert the foley. I walked across the hall to the room where the same procedure was performed with Lil Tea Cup’s birth, and stood by the space aged looking chair that I knew I would have to climb up on shortly. The nurse laughed, as she thought I was heading for the normal chair next to it. I reminded her laughing that I had been to this rodeo before. The doctor asked me a few routine questions and then lectured me a bit about being induced “early.” I still to this day think that it was ridiculous that he called this induction early, as I was 40 weeks and 6 days at this point and clearly had a good sized child in my belly.

Then the procedure began and as the doctor got to work, he said to the nurse that he thought that my water had broken. He asked if I had any leaking and I mentioned what had happened the day before. He tested and again it ended up that my water had not broken. It was then that he tried to insert the foley. Unlike the first time I had this done, this time it was more uncomfortable and clearly not working. The doctor quickly gave up and announced that he could not reach my cervix so there was no point in continuing. I was then faced with an option to cancel my induction completely and wait to see my doctor, or go in the next day and see what the next doctor on call would say. This doctor warned that if I was induced using pitocin the next day, it would likely end up in a c-section as my cervix was “unfavourable.”

We headed back to the triage waiting room. Waves of frustration and exhaustion came over me, as I angrily discussed the options with the nurse and my husband. I did not see the point of waiting, as I could very well end up with a c-section regardless if my labour never started and they could not insert the foley. I tried to call my doctor’s office but they were closed for the holiday, so that too upset me greatly as I really value her opinon. It was then that the doctor returned and gave us a new option. He wanted to try to insert a gel instead that could provide the same results as the foley. He seemed excited about helping me and I was thrilled to be given another option. He said he would return shortly and off he went.

We waited for another two and half hours before the nurse came back and you could tell by the look on her face it was not good news. The new medicine had been ordered and had arrived from the pharmacy, but then the doctor had changed his mind and decided he didn’t even want to try to insert it for me. I wanted to scream at the doctor who didn’t even make the effort to come back and tell me himself. I got dressed as quickly as possible, tears streaming down my face and a variety of not so appropriate words coming out of my mouth. I just wanted to go home and to get out of the hospital before I made an even bigger scene.

On the way out the door, the nurse reminded me gently that if labour did start or my water broke to come back in. I laughed and replied that I would only be coming back that night if the baby was literally falling out of me. She laughed and said that she figured this would be the case and that if she saw that a new year’s baby was born at home in a bathtub, she would know it was me. We headed home to once again pick up our daughter and try to celebrate what was left of New Year’s Eve.

Thursday – New Year’s Day

After a night of restless sleep and a lackluster New Year’s Eve celebration of television watching, I awoke in a new year to a quiet house for only a moment before the phone rang. It was the triage department inviting me in for my induction just after 7 am. The nurse told me to eat breakfast and and asked how long it would be before I would be in. I replied that I would be there as soon as possible.

We got Lil’ Tea Cup ready and once again packed her up to go to her grandparents, said another set of tough goodbyes and then I very begrudgingly got ready myself. I had no appetite and was so frustrated knowing I would likely be heading to the hospital only to be sent home again. The ride to the hospital was quiet. I thought back to the excitement of driving that same route with Lil’ Tea Cup while in labour, how different things looked in the light of day and how I wished I could feel the same excitement today.

We headed upstairs and checked in again at the nurse’s station. We met the nurse who called me that morning and she was shocked how quickly we had made it there. She commented that we ” must be really ready to have this baby.” She was a little rough around the edges, but I immediately liked her and found her very knowledgeable. After she led us to the room, I told her about the last few days and could tell that she was very taken aback by what had happened. She told me that she would talk to our nurse from last night and then go and get the doctor on call to see how he thought things should proceed. I once again climbed into the light blue hospital gown that had been my wardrobe for the past three days and then into the bed to wait to see what today would bring.

It wasn’t long before the nurse returned with news that she had talked to the nurse from the day before and that the doctor was on his way. He arrived just minutes after and after introducing himself told me that he would like to check on the baby’s position to see if he could tell what was taking place. He wheeled the portable ultrasound machine along with him, and for the first time in almost 20 weeks I saw my little guy pop up on the screen. It was immediately apparent that he was not positioned properly. He was face up but the main issue was that his neck was extremely hyper extended. It was not clear on the small ultrasound why exactly he was bent like that, but there was talk of perhaps a fibroid that was pushing him that way. The doctor also mentioned that he thought that the baby’s heart looked a little big and spent a long time looking at it.

With a very calm demeanor he told me that putting me into labour would not be a good idea because of the baby’s position and that trying to push him out may cause injury to his neck. He said that in this circumstance he thought a c-section would be best. I agreed immediately as having the baby out safe and sound was the priority. With that the preparation for a c-section began.

They took blood from me and were about to start my iv of fluids when the nurse told me that the doctor wanted me to head down to have an ultrasound downstairs in the ultrasound department with the more advanced machines. I was loaded up in a chair and wheeled to the elevator. I had been to the ultrasound department for my earlier ultrasounds, but it was a much different experience this time waiting for the ” patient transport” elevators and being wheeled through the back hallways. There was a chill in the air and a stillness that I found a little unnerving at that moment. It was like the entire world was shut down for the holiday and I was here all by myself. They parked me behind another woman in a wheelchair in the hallway and said they would be just a minute. While I wondered if it was okay to strike up a conversation, they quickly whisked her away into another room. As I watched her go, the doctor from earlier appeared out of nowhere and he asked if I was ready to see my baby on the inside for the last time, and he mentioned that he would be joining me to check out how things were.

It was then that my ultrasound tech came and wheeled me into the room. She too was expecting and I found that very comforting, perhaps because it gave us common ground. I didn’t get to see much on the ultrasound, but I did see that my baby could in fact move his neck back into a proper position when he wanted, which was reassuring. His heart also appeared to be fine; it was simply large because he was.

After the ultrasound, I returned upstairs to the room and checked in with my parents to tell them that I would be having the c-section in a little while. No sooner did I hang up the phone did my nurse come into the room and tell me that they would be taking me down shortly and that they were already preparing the operating room. She asked me if I wanted to walk to the operating room, which I did, as I knew that I would not be up again for quite a while. I am glad that things progressed so quickly as I did not really have time to become anxious or really think about what was about to happen. I was focused intently on wanting this baby out safely, no matter how it happened.

We headed into the other wing of the family birthing floor of the hospital and sat on the chairs next to the operating room. Within moments they invited me in and I went alone so they could perform the sterile procedures before my husband joined me. I climbed up on the table and looked around. It was as I remembered it: lots of machines and bright lights. I stared at the labels on the machine above me, and I calmed myself by counting the knobs over and and over again. For a good portion of the surgery it was my focal point. The nurses chatted cheerfully around me and  they complimented my socks. It was nice to have a friendly environment in one that could be quite the opposite.

When it was time for the spinal, they had me roll on my side, and my nurse who had been with me the entire journey at this point, held my hand. I waited for the bee sting of the freezing but it never came. In fact it was pain-free and I was immediately relieved that it had worked quickly and properly. I could feel pressure and knew when someone was touching me, but could not feel pain. It was a very odd sensation really. It was then that I asked the nurse if the anesthesiologist that gave me my epidural during my first labour was still working. Not a minute later did he walk through the door. I was glad to see another familiar face and knew he would take good care of me.

Although I know that people find having their arms strapped down to be unnerving, but it didn’t bother me, perhaps because I wouldn’t have known where to put them anyways. It was then that they put up the curtain and my husband came back in to sit with me. Then with little fanfare the c-section began.

I felt no pain but for the first time was anxious because I wanted to see my baby so badly and know that he was okay. I wouldn’t have to wait long as a very short time later my little boy came into the world at 11:42 am singing loudly to the heavens weighing in at 9 lbs 14 oz and 21 1/2 inches long.

They brought him over to me for just a moment for me see him up close, and that is when the tears began to fall as I knew he was all right.

And just like that, all the pain and struggle were worth it. I had my son.