When I found out I was having a boy, I knew I was in trouble.

Boys are notorious for bumps, bruises, and frequent trips to the emergency room. They’re known for being rowdy, active, and a little bit reckless. I assumed it just came with the territory. I’m sure girl moms deal with quite a bit of this too, but I’ll be honest –  I don’t remember a single trip to the emergency room as a kid for an accident or crazy decision I made, but my husband’s list is pretty long. Mentally, I’ve worked to prepare myself for crazy accidents in the future and unexpected trips to the ER, even though I know they’ll be awful in the moment and nothing can truly prepare me. But what I was really not prepared for? A trip to the emergency room due to sickness.

Hands down, it was the most terrifying night of my life so far.

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Jackson got a double ear infection a few weeks ago. One of them was ruptured, he was miserable, and we were all in survival mode. He was spending a few days at home with various family members since Mr. Garland and I couldn’t take off work. But one afternoon when I got home and he woke up from his nap, I noticed that he was burning up. I took his temperature – 104.8. It was high, but it’s been that high before (after his 12-month shots) so I tried what we did last time, since our doctor had said not to take him in unless it stayed that high for about an hour. I gave him some Tylenol, stripped him down to his diaper, took my shirt off, and snuggled with him on the couch for some skin-to-skin time. I also tried to encourage water and/or milk, and even did a quick sponge bath (which is what helped break his fever the last time around). About 45 minutes later I took his temperature again…105.5.

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In the moment, I was totally calm. I knew we had to take him in, so I had Mr. Garland call the after-hours line at our pediatrician to see if we needed to go to the ER or if an urgent care clinic would suffice. I tossed some pajamas on Jackson and got us all out the door with minimal panic. But on the inside? I was absolutely freaking out. The nurse line recommended the emergency room so a few minutes later we found ourselves checking in. I had no idea what to expect and it was all a bit overwhelming. Here’s a quick list of all of the tests/procedures that happened while we were there:

– They took his temperature, checked vitals, etc.

– They took a swab sample from each of his nostrils (he had a cold on top of everything else, so they got a good sample!).

– They did an x-ray of his chest.

– They took a vial of blood to do a culture.

– They gave him a dose of Motrin to knock the fever out (I had given him Tylenol before leaving the house, but it hadn’t been effective at all).

IMG_1677Prepping him for the blood sample – the swaddle idea was genius! Kept him nice and calm…and immobile!

At the time, they didn’t explain much about why they were doing what they were doing. I was curious, but it didn’t bother me not to know why they needed the various tests because it was clear they were trying to work quickly and efficiently to get him the care he needed. Once things had calmed down and I could tell the situation wasn’t as urgent anymore, I began to ask more questions about why they ran those particular tests. Here’s what I learned:

– The swab from his nose was to check for flu and RSV. He was negative for both.

– The x-ray was to check for pneumonia. Also negative.

– The blood sample was to send off to see if the current antibiotic he was on (for his ear infection) had possibly caused a secondary infection. They also checked there at the hospital for other potential issues with part of the blood sample (I can’t remember exactly what) but all of those tests came back negative.

In the end, the Motrin began to do its thing about 45 minutes after they gave it to him. They sent us home with strict instructions to keep him on Tylenol/Motrin every four hours and monitor his temperature. They said they would call if the blood culture revealed that his medicine was a problem (it wasn’t), and to keep him on it for now.

He continued to run a fever for a few more days, but it never got that high again. It was another week before he was back to normal, and it was our first major sickness as parents. It was horrible, terrifying, and utterly exhausting. I will say, though, that I learned a lot about myself and about how to handle these types of situations. Here are my top five tips for dealing with your first big illness or ER trip as a parent:

1. Don’t be afraid to ask questions. I’m a big believer in trusting that the doctors know what they’re doing (after all, I have no idea when it comes to medical care!) but if at any point you don’t feel right about something or don’t understand something, ask! I don’t ask many questions until the end of trips because I tend to let the doctors do their thing in the moment, but make sure all of your questions are answered before you leave – you’ll feel much better!

2. You may be surprised at how calm you are. It’s a good thing! I was shocked at how level-headed and calm I remained throughout the whole thing, even though I was petrified on the inside. I haven’t been in many emergency situations before, so I wasn’t sure how I’d manage it. It was almost as if all of my emotions and needs went on hold until I knew Jackson was okay. My mom offered to bring me up some food to the ER, but I told her there was no way I could eat. I didn’t even think about food until we were on our way home and I suddenly got hit with some very intense hunger pangs!

3. Embrace the snuggles! Now that Jackson has become a wiggly toddler, we don’t get cuddles very often anymore. Except when he’s sick. I don’t think he left my arms the entire night we went to the ER, and he was constantly snuggled up to me, keeping himself as close as possible. It’s hard to find the bright spots in awful nights like that, but I did what I could to enjoy the extra love I was getting, and I continued to cherish the extra cuddles I got throughout his illness. Being sick isn’t any fun, but cuddles sure are!

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4. Keep the comfort items close. Maybe a no-brainer, but it was an absolute life saver for us to have Jackson’s lovey with us at the emergency room. He wouldn’t let it leave his sight, and I think it was a very major source of comfort for him while we were there. Throughout most of the time he was sick, he refused to put it back in his crib upon waking up, and it was constantly tucked under his chin or hanging off of his shoulder. Normally we don’t let him carry that or the pacifier around the house, but all the rules get broken when you’re sick! I’m so glad we remembered to grab his blanket as we were rushing out the door, and the visit would have been much more stressful without it.

5. Look for ways your partner can feel needed. Mr. Garland is very helpful in these types of situations, but it was hard on him while Jackson was sick and wanted nothing to do with anyone but me. I think it’s pretty standard for kids to become clingy to their moms when they aren’t feeling well, but that doesn’t make it any easier on the dads! I looked for little ways that Mr. Garland could help with Jackson or feel needed by him, even when Jackson was clinging to me. Things like having him give Jackson his sippy cup of milk or bringing him the pacifier made it more likely that Jackson would want to go to him, then he could sneak in a few snuggles. It’s not easy not to feel needed when your kid is sick, so I did anything I could to help the situation.

I’m so glad this whole ordeal is behind us and I hope we don’t have another trip to the emergency room for a very long time.

What was your child’s first big illness like? Anyone else take an ER trip lately?