I am constantly amazed at the vast array of helpful stories for mamas who choose to breastfeed, including a lot of great information in posts here on Hellobee. Some of my favorites include ones about the triumphs of breastfeeding, the challenges, the best gear and tools for breastfeeding, great thoughts from lactation consultants, developing a routine, and some of the things that can happen that aren’t often discussed.
When I was reading up on breastfeeding, I always wished someone could catalog all of the little questions and doubts that would flit through my mind (or, that I would dwell on for days!) as I nursed. Many of the questions were ones with a ‘biology’ bend (body parts! awkward topics!). Others were emotional – AM I DOING THIS RIGHT?! – and so tended to be ones I couldn’t always ask my favorite mamas via text message without getting quite intimate.
So when William was born and very shortly afterward three of my closest friends announced they were expecting, I knew I wanted to somehow provide some of the answers I longed for when I was nursing. This manifested itself in a ‘boobie basket’ for one of my friends, when I was able to attend her shower over a long weekend back in January. I prepared this basket with the few little nursing items I would have sorely missed, and the answers to those questions I wish someone could have answered for me seven months ago.
The things I found so indispensable during the first weeks of nursing and over these long months of pumping were up first in the ‘boobie basket.’ They include:
1) Lansinoh lanolin for preventing and soothing sore/cracked nipples
2) Washable nursing pads, like these from Medela, to cover any leakage
3) Some cooling gel nursing pads from Lansinoh that can go in the refrigerator and help SO MUCH those first days when those nips are SO SORE
4) Awesome cooling/heating therapy from Lansinoh which ease engorgement or assist with letdown and flow
5) my favorite Lansinoh bags for storing expressed milk.
The second part of the ‘boobie basket’ was a frame containing my thoughts on breastfeeding – my answers to those questions I can remember popping into my head during my very first weeks as a mama. I envisioned that she could glance at them as she went through the various stages of the early nursing relationship, and hear a voice in her head when she was at her most vulnerable. Here’s what I shared:
- Yes, getting baby into position is awkward at first. Try the football hold.
- Yes, your nipples should be sore. Use the lanolin every time.
- No, it shouldn’t be excruciatingly painful. If it is still painful more than 30 seconds into a nursing session, talk to a lactation consultant.
- Yes, he will be noisy while he eats. Or, he may make no noise at all. Normal.
- Yes, you may feel your letdown. Or, no you may not. Both are totally normal. Pay attention only to wet diapers and weight gain as measures of baby-eating success.
- Yes, the engorgement phase sucks. Try heat, using your fingers to soften your nipple and hand expressing a little bit before he latches. It can be hard for a tiny mouth to get a good hold on an engorged, flat nipple. And again, try the football hold.
- He might cough and gag a little bit in your milk. This is normal. He might not – also normal! If he does this a lot, try leaning back so the flow is less forceful in his sweet lil’ mouth.
- Yes, it is exhausting the first weeks. Yes, you will nurse for forty minutes only to start again forty minutes later. Drink water!
- Nurse whenever he seems hungry. Schedules and patterns come later. I promise.
- Yes, the above is exhausting and daunting. You will miss it someday.
- Breathe. Let downs can be prevented when stressed. If you can find a pattern of breathing/position/thought your body will learn, Pavlovian style, to release your milk to your baby. Deep breaths help. And relax those shoulders and your jaw.
- Text me, your mom, your mama friends whenever you have a wonder. We can help or even just say ‘Yep. Normal.’
- The leaking does stop eventually. Promise.
- Yes, you may as well just not wear a shirt.
- The first time in public is hard. Challenging logistically AND mentally. It gets so much easier.
- Soon he will be holding his own head and that nursing pillow won’t be needed. Woohoo!
- Don’t be afraid to pump and give a bottle. Wait at least four weeks but not too long, as a boobie-only baby is hard to be away from. Plus, bottles help baby bond with your partner!
- Don’t worry too much if baby latches or makes noises that you read are ‘wrong’. Is he getting milk and growing strong? Then it works. Trust yourself and your little one.
- Don’t beat yourself up if you supplement or need help with any part of this. You are a rock star mama and what matters is that baby eats and grows.
- Yes, there will be days, weeks in, where he suddenly nurses SO MUCH MORE or even LESS. Growth spurts/frequency days happen. Part of a growth spurt/developmental leap can be increased eating OR reduced (for a short while). If you are really concerned, call an lactation consultant or the pediatrician. But also, breathe. You got this.
- And if after all of this, you didn’t get to breastfeed or your nursing relationship ends sooner than you wanted, know this: it will be ok. I promise, promise, promise.
If you could tell a friend what to expect of breastfeeding, what would you say?
persimmon / 1095 posts
I have had an easier experience. The hardest thing was that I needed to pump prior to feeding in the beginning when engorged, because he couldn’t latch, and I had a big baby. The soreness has only come now at 5.5 months. Leaking may not be an issue and you still have a good supply. Feeding in public really isn’t that hard. Rather than using lanolin, use your milk; it works the best.
I never managed the football hold and still prefer a nursing pillow. The best advice from the lactation consultant was to push his head into my breast to get the proper latch.
blogger / cherry / 204 posts
I LOVE this. All excellent advice and the idea of having it all there together like a mantra to refer to in a moment of need is perfect, such a thoughtful gift. After my experience with my first (exclusive pumping) my advice to mama friends struggling with breastfeeding was always just to do what you have to do and don’t feel guilty about it because all babies are not the same and just because someone else had it easy doesn’t mean there’s anything wrong with you (because that was my struggle, lots of feelings of failure.) But then some friends had loads of encouragement from more successful breastfeeders to stick with it despite the stress and in the end if they did they were glad and grateful for that support. So I think the best we can do for each other is to always non-judgmentally offer our own stories and let each other draw what we need most from that!
nectarine / 2705 posts
This is such a wonderful gift. Thank you for sharing this
clementine / 812 posts
This is wonderful! I’ve only recently had some success with my 5 week old after EP for over a month. My biggest piece of advice is to try laid back nursing. I am SO much more comfortable reclining a bit and holding baby however we please. I was trying to put us in a box by doing football or cross cradle “just so”. Once I relaxed a little bit and did what felt natural, we were much more successful.
Thanks for a great post!
blogger / pomegranate / 3491 posts
So much great advice. I wish someone had given me this info/pep talk before I had my first.
blogger / wonderful cherry / 21616 posts
I didn’t take a breastfeeding class and wish I had! I remenber feeling like I had no idea what I was doing.
I liked the reusable breast pads but I leaked so much they didn’t work for me- I needed the plastic ones!
guest
I would have LOVED to have had this 7 months ago! In addition to all of your wonderfully spot-on advice I would add “You nursing your baby is the most important thing. Don’t think that you need to make others feel comfortable when you’re nursing.” It took me a while to adopt the “whatever, my baby needs to eat” mentality and not care about what anyone else thought.
blogger / nectarine / 2600 posts
Aww such great choices. I need to check out those heating pads.
cantaloupe / 6669 posts
This is great! My experience was unique in that I had low supply. Whether you have low supply, oversupply, or a whole host of other issues, though, the biggest thing I’ve found to be important is a great lactation consultant. I may gift friends who want to breastfeed a session with one in the future!
cantaloupe / 6730 posts
Aww! This is wonderful! I think just having such a long list of “wonders/questions” is a gift. It tells the new mom that having questions is normal!
blogger / pear / 1964 posts
All great tips — I think I would have died without Kellymom — sort of the Internet version of your much more fun boobie basket.
wonderful pomelo / 30692 posts
I really like this. But I would caution anyone else thinking of doing something like this to make sure that the mom-to-be actually WANTS to breastfeed before providing her with such a wonderful care package! The last thing a new mom needs is to feel guilty about her feeding choices if she chooses not to breastfeed for whatever reason!
@Mrs. Tricycle: Totally agree about Kellymom! I nursed Xander for over a year, but I still use Kellymom all the time with my new baby!
pea / 24 posts
@daniellemybelle: I second your advice about finding a lactation consultant, specifically an IBCLC. For any problems big or small that come up and may make you want to give up, please don’t 1) quit on a bad day or 2) quit before you seek help from an IBCLC. Also, my mantra from my IBCLC, “In the first six weeks, the answer is always to nurse. Baby seems hungry again? Put her back to the breast. Again and again and again.” Lastly, I recommended the book Breastfeeding Made Simple by Nancy Morhbacher for all boobie baskets.
blogger / apricot / 310 posts
@Mrs. Toad: This is all so true! I also didn’t find nursing in public a challenge- but it was something I figure out the best way to do it over time! Thanks for your thoughts!
@Mrs. Pom Pom: Yes, so true! Having a community where we can share without judgment is so key. And no two babies ARE the same! I’ve read and heard that even nursing in general in terms of supply isn’t the same baby to baby, for the same mama. So many variables at play here!
@sweetooth: Ah, thanks! And happy to have shared it!
@Mrs. Coral: That’s a great tip! Do you use a particular seat, or the floor or bed for this? I feel like most gliders/rockers are so upright!
@Mrs. Confetti: Me too! Even just knowing that there will be so many questions, no matter if it’s easy for a mama and baby or more challenging!
@Mrs. Pen: Oh, how interesting! For me, the paper ones never stayed in place! I definitely should have included both kinds for my friend though, because you never know what you might prefer- thanks for that addition!
@Whitney: SUCH a great point! Thanks for sharing!
@Mrs. Chocolate: They are awesome!
@daniellemybelle: That’s an amazing gift idea! I think insurance/paying definitely precludes some mamas so I love your idea!
@Grace: Yes, exactly! Breastfeeding isn’t always comfortable or natural or fun – but it usually gets better and more enjoyable.
@Mrs. Tricycle: Oh my gosh, YES! I still use Kellymom for pumping info to this day! A great thought would have been to list some great websites for my friend too! Thanks!
@Adira: Oh absolutely – I probably should have shared up front that I made this ‘boobie basket’ for my friend who had specifically told me her biggest worry/fear was breastfeeding because so many mama friends had struggled or had challenges (me included!) Such a great point though – thank you for this comment!
@Kezzeranne: Oh YES! Nursing on demand, I’m positive, is what gave me such a great supply and a healthy, growing baby. Great advice here – thank you!
cherry / 108 posts
Oh this is so helpful. Between my sister and one of the amazing nurses where I delivered my daughter, I was able to get through that first month of breastfeeding and continued till a little over a year! Now we are expecting again, and I feel I forgot everything! This is very much needed. Thanks!
I second kellymom. One of the best breastfeeding resources freely available.
blogger / apricot / 378 posts
This is such a wonderful gift! I would have loved something like this – breastfeeding is HARD to figure out!
blogger / clementine / 998 posts
I totally thought gel packs for boobs were an invention that needed to happen, but there they are!
blogger / apricot / 367 posts
These baskets are such a thoughtful and practical gift! Those cooling gel pads saved me in the early days of breastfeeding..
apricot / 390 posts
Breastfeeding is definitely one of those things that was more difficult than I expected, and I didn’t even have it that bad. This list is wonderful! All the “it will get better”s are so true and something I needed to hear frequently in the beginning. Theres a big learning curve for both mom and baby, but now that we are both getting better, at almost 6 weeks, it is so worth pushing through!
pomegranate / 3113 posts
Great list. We started giving a bottle here and there during week 3, on the advice of LO’s pediatrician, but other than that I agree with pretty much everything you said. I never got into Kellymom because I found the website really frustrating to navigate, so I usually searched HB and then followed links from here, haha.
blogger / pineapple / 12381 posts
Cooling gel pads were a must!
Anyone else find the washable breast pads too lumpy?
blogger / pomegranate / 3044 posts
Good roundup! I too relied heavily on the lanolin and the washable pads. I went through them too fast to use disposable!