I am constantly amazed at the vast array of helpful stories for mamas who choose to breastfeed, including a lot of great information in posts here on Hellobee. Some of my favorites include ones about the triumphs of breastfeeding, the challenges, the best gear and tools for breastfeeding, great thoughts from lactation consultants, developing a routine, and some of the things that can happen that aren’t often discussed.

When I was reading up on breastfeeding, I always wished someone could catalog all of the little questions and doubts that would flit through my mind (or, that I would dwell on for days!) as I nursed. Many of the questions were ones with a ‘biology’ bend (body parts! awkward topics!). Others were emotional – AM I DOING THIS RIGHT?! – and so tended to be ones I couldn’t always ask my favorite mamas via text message without getting quite intimate.

So when William was born and very shortly afterward three of my closest friends announced they were expecting, I knew I wanted to somehow provide some of the answers I longed for when I was nursing. This manifested itself in a ‘boobie basket’ for one of my friends, when I was able to attend her shower over a long weekend back in January. I prepared this basket with the few little nursing items I would have sorely missed, and the answers to those questions I wish someone could have answered for me seven months ago.

The things I found so indispensable during the first weeks of nursing and over these long months of pumping were up first in the ‘boobie basket.’ They include:

NURSING GIFT BASKET

ADVERTISEMENT

1) Lansinoh lanolin for preventing and soothing sore/cracked nipples

2) Washable nursing pads, like these from Medela, to cover any leakage

3) Some cooling gel nursing pads from Lansinoh that can go in the refrigerator and help SO MUCH those first days when those nips are SO SORE

4) Awesome cooling/heating therapy from Lansinoh which ease engorgement or assist with letdown and flow

5) my favorite Lansinoh bags for storing expressed milk.

IMG_3006 IMG_3087

The second part of the ‘boobie basket’ was a frame containing my thoughts on breastfeeding – my answers to those questions I can remember popping into my head during my very first weeks as a mama. I envisioned that she could glance at them as she went through the various stages of the early nursing relationship, and hear a voice in her head when she was at her most vulnerable. Here’s what I shared:

  • Yes, getting baby into position is awkward at first. Try the football hold.
  • Yes, your nipples should be sore. Use the lanolin every time.
  • No, it shouldn’t be excruciatingly painful. If it is still painful more than 30 seconds into a nursing session, talk to a lactation consultant.
  • Yes, he will be noisy while he eats. Or, he may make no noise at all. Normal.
  • Yes, you may feel your letdown. Or, no you may not. Both are totally normal. Pay attention only to wet diapers and weight gain as measures of baby-eating success.
  • Yes, the engorgement phase sucks. Try heat, using your fingers to soften your nipple and hand expressing a little bit before he latches. It can be hard for a tiny mouth to get a good hold on an engorged, flat nipple. And again, try the football hold.
  • He might cough and gag a little bit in your milk. This is normal. He might not – also normal! If he does this a lot, try leaning back so the flow is less forceful in his sweet lil’ mouth.
  • Yes, it is exhausting the first weeks. Yes, you will nurse for forty minutes only to start again forty minutes later. Drink water!
  • Nurse whenever he seems hungry. Schedules and patterns come later. I promise.
  • Yes, the above is exhausting and daunting. You will miss it someday.
  • Breathe. Let downs can be prevented when stressed. If you can find a pattern of breathing/position/thought your body will learn, Pavlovian style, to release your milk to your baby. Deep breaths help. And relax those shoulders and your jaw.
  • Text me, your mom, your mama friends whenever you have a wonder. We can help or even just say ‘Yep. Normal.’
  • The leaking does stop eventually. Promise.
  • Yes, you may as well just not wear a shirt.
  • The first time in public is hard. Challenging logistically AND mentally. It gets so much easier.
  • Soon he will be holding his own head and that nursing pillow won’t be needed. Woohoo!
  • Don’t be afraid to pump and give a bottle. Wait at least four weeks but not too long, as a boobie-only baby is hard to be away from. Plus, bottles help baby bond with your partner!
  • Don’t worry too much if baby latches or makes noises that you read are ‘wrong’. Is he getting milk and growing strong? Then it works. Trust yourself and your little one.
  • Don’t beat yourself up if you supplement or need help with any part of this. You are a rock star mama and what matters is that baby eats and grows.
  • Yes, there will be days, weeks in, where he suddenly nurses SO MUCH MORE or even LESS. Growth spurts/frequency days happen. Part of a growth spurt/developmental leap can be increased eating OR reduced (for a short while). If you are really concerned, call an lactation consultant or the pediatrician. But also, breathe. You got this.
  • And if after all of this, you didn’t get to breastfeed or your nursing relationship ends sooner than you wanted, know this: it will be ok. I promise, promise, promise.

If you could tell a friend what to expect of breastfeeding, what would you say?