I never thought I’d spend my daughter’s second week of life in the hospital, but that’s exactly what happened when she caught RSV.

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Little BunBun was born with a pretty stuffy nose, but every nurse and doctor we saw before we were discharged said that was pretty normal for newborns. I also caught a cold the day after I delivered her, and I brought it up every chance I could to make sure that the baby would be okay, and again, every nurse and doctor said she’d be fine since I was breastfeeding and the baby was getting all the good stuff from that. Of course, I did my best to sneeze and cough away from her, and I washed my hands as often as possible, but when you’re breastfeeding constantly and doing skin to skin, it’s inevitable that germs spread.

So with a clean bill of health for both of us, after my delivery we were sent on our merry way. The first week at home encompassed the normal newborn adventures, and except for her stuffy nose that we were constantly suctioning, everything was fine.

When BunBun was eight days old, though, I noticed that she looked like she was having a harder time breathing. It wasn’t something I was too concerned with, though, since her nose was still stuffy and I know babies are nose breathers, so it made sense that she was having a difficult time. But the next day (nine days old), she woke up and felt pretty warm. I chalked it up to the fact that she was wrapped up like a little burrito and wearing some fleece jammies. I took her auxiliary temperature and it was in the low 99s. I checked it throughout the day, and when it didn’t go back down (and when her breathing still appeared labored), my husband and I decided to take her into our pediatrician’s after hours clinic (this was on a Sunday). Better to be safe than sorry, right?

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They got her in right away (benefit to going to the pediatrician after hours) and took her rectal temperature—it was 100.8. Before you leave the hospital after delivery, they give you a list of things to watch for, and one of them is that you should be concerned if your newborn’s temp is 100.4 or higher.

Worry set in, especially because after they got her temp, three doctors came in to asses her and put a little pulse oximeter on her tiny hand to check her oxygen level. It hovered between the mid 60s to high 90s. The 90s were good, but the 60s were really, really not good. That’s when they said they were calling the children’s hospital in the next town and getting her a room there: they wanted to admit her, and they were sending her by ambulance. This all happened in about 30 minutes.

I’ve never gone anywhere by ambulance and the second I heard that, tears started flowing. I felt like a horrible mother for getting her sick and letting it get this far. The pediatricians and the ambulance EMTs tossed around the virus called RSV (Respiratory Syncytial Virus), which is essentially a baby cold, but is a whole lot scarier than just a common cold when you’re dealing with a new human.

Once we arrived at the hospital, more nurses, techs, and a doctor assessed her and got her hooked up to an IV and put on oxygen. I stood in the corner of the small children’s hospital room and just watched, feeling utterly helpless, as my daughter wailed continuously while they tried over and over to stick her with an IV. Not being able to comfort her was beyond heartbreaking. They ran several tests, cultures, and even did a spinal tap to get to the bottom of her fever and rule out different causes for what was going on. They started her on antibiotics just in case it was bacterial, but it ended up being a virus: RSV.

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Since she was so young, her little body was still working on building her immune system and antibodies. The only way to fight RSV was with a lot of nose suctioning (they had a nose suctioner that was like a vacuum to get the snot out—it was actually pretty awesome), continuous oxygen, and monitoring. They also gave her breathing treatments (a nebulizer) over the course of our stay, but different doctors questioned whether it actually helped (I think it did).

The very first nurse she had that night told me that RSV is like a roller coaster. She told me, “Mama, it’s going to get better, then worse again, and then better; you just have to hang in there for a little while before you guys can go home.” And boy was she right.

We dealt with a lot of mixed emotions during our week stay in the hospital, because little BunBun did, in fact, get better and then worse again, and then better. I stayed with her the whole time since I was allowed to breastfeed her, and my husband and mom would switch off and would come stay with me during the day.

The children’s hospital where we were wanted her to be off oxygen for a full 24 hours before they’d send her home. It took her a few days to get to that point, but seven days after she was admitted, she got the all clear and we were allowed to take her home. She’s been back home for almost a month now and things are like night and day from our adventure with the hospital. They said it’s unlikely she’ll get RSV again, especially so soon since RSV “season” is almost over, but I’m still watching her like a hawk.

My heart truly goes out to any parent who’s had to spend any time in a hospital with their child. That was one of the most trying times I’ve every experienced. It breaks my heart that kids have to get sick.

Did your baby have a run-in with RSV in his/her early days?