When I think about having two kids, each day is a little different.

Some days, I just can’t wait until Baby Oats gets here. I’m picturing the four of us waking up, sunlight streaming in the windows, and heading downstairs to snuggle on the couch with breakfast. I imagine that Little Oats is a doting big sister; she brings diapers and wipes when the baby needs to be changed, she shares her toys, and she is content to play while I nurse. Our days are filled with fun outings; we’ll go to storytime at the library, attend the moms and tots program at a local church, and spend afternoons at the splash pad (because the weather WILL be nice enough for the splash pad). In my mind, even the more difficult days will still be wonderful; yes, I might need a little more patience, and I’ll definitely be sleep-deprived, but isn’t that what coffee is for?

Then, we face a day where everything seems to go wrong. Little Oats wakes up on the wrong side of the bed, she spends the whole morning whining and tantruming when things don’t go her way. Even giving into her demands for TV shows and yogurt raisins don’t touch the grumpiness; they just make it impossible to do anything EXCEPT watch TV and eat yogurt raisins.

I struggle with the thought of two. Yes, things could be wonderful – Mrs. Tea’s post gave me some hope that a schedule is possible. But then the anxiety starts to creep in. I imagine the wakeups at night – if Baby Oats is anything like Little Oats was, I’m going to be up an average of 4 times nightly for at least 6 months. If he wakes his older sister up, then we have two kids awake to worry about. Sleep deprivation and I really don’t get along – I worry that there will be no magical double naps, and I won’t get any downtime. I’m sure my house will be a colossal mess, and I’m afraid I will rely on the TV to occupy Little Oats too much.

ADVERTISEMENT

All of these thoughts buzz in my head, keeping me up at night trying to figure out how I’m going to cope. And then I’m reminded that I’m only thinking about what I know. Little Oats was a terrible napper, and needed to be held all the time. She didn’t sleep through the night until 15 months, and she nursed constantly. I’m imagining, in all of these scenarios, that Baby Oats will be the same. I don’t know that – he might be an awesome sleeper, totally easygoing, and this might all be pointless to worry about. I plan to baby wear, which I hardly ever did with Little Oats. I hope to use a pacifier, and get Baby Oats to take a bottle, which will also be a change (hopefully for the better).

Yes, my anxieties and worries are valid. But worrying about them is fruitless; I’m not getting anywhere by pacing in circles trying to figure out what life is going to be like.

I think that might be both the best and worst part of parenting; you never quite know what is coming next.

Were you nervous about the newborn stage the second time around?