The first three months with your newborn is hard. Even if you have an easy baby (whatever that means), the sleep deprivation, endless crying, and constant feeding can make it difficult for any parent.
I have struggled a lot through those early months for both Lil’ Pizza and Baby Pizza. I think I would be in denial if I didn’t admit that I struggled with postpartum depression for both my babies. For me, my inability to breastfeed along with the difficulties with feeding two babies who had sensitive tummies/reflux really took a toll on me.
Now that Baby Pizza has passed the three month mark, I feel a huge weight lifted and can breathe a little easier. It’s still hard and Baby Pizza’s schedule isn’t as predictable as I had hoped by this time, but caring for two little ones has become much more manageable.
Here are some tips on how to survive the first three months – physically, mentally, and emotionally!
Physically
- Invest in a good carrier. Most newborns go through a stage where they constantly want to be held. I went through a long stretch of carrying both Lil’ Pizza and Baby Pizza almost the entire day because they refused to sleep on their own. With Lil’ Pizza, I often held her in my arms while she slept, but with Baby Pizza, a good carrier was a necessity because I had to also attend to Lil’ Pizza. I used a wrap for the first month and then bought a carrier that could hold a newborn. On a side note, companies are always improving their wraps and carriers every year. Just over two years ago, there weren’t many carriers that could safely carry newborns but now there are many more options!
- If you can sleep when your newborn is asleep, do it. I seriously high five myself when I can get Lil’ Pizza and Baby Pizza to nap at the same time. I’ll even hold Baby Pizza to try to stretch out her nap so I could get some rest.
- Master the swaddle or get swaddle blankets that have velcro or a zipper to make it easier for you (my favorite is the Woombie). Hopefully, it can help your newborn sleep a bit longer.
- Get a white noise machine. Again, just something to help your newborn sleep a bit longer.
- Stock up on healthy snacks before the baby is born. There may be days when you can’t seem to eat a full meal. It helped me to munch on snacks throughout the day that were easily accessible.
- Don’t stress yourself out by trying to cook. Make your meals simple and order food for carry out often.
If doing dishes gets to be a pain, use disposable plates and utensils for a bit.
- If anyone offers to bring over food, always say yes. If they offer any kind of help, say yes. Take your toddler out for the day?…okay! Hold your baby so you can take a nap?…yes please!
- Schedule things during the week to look forward to. I would constantly look at the calendar and see what I could look forward to, whether it was a visit from a friend, a birthday party, or even a holiday (hopefully that can mean an extra hand at home). It helped the long days pass much faster if I kept planning things to get excited about.
- Take the monthly pictures of your baby. I think it helps to pause and see just how much your little one has grown in a month. And it’s a reminder that you made it through another month as a parent!
- Read The Happiest Baby on the Block. This was one of the few books I read during my pregnancy with my first. It offers very simple and practical things to help your baby during the “fourth trimester.”
- Let it go. If the dishes pile up and the house is a big mess, it’s okay. It’s going to take time to get back into a routine, so try not to stress about it too much.
- Find a good TV series to watch. I wasn’t able to do this now that I have two kids, but when it was just me and Lil’ Pizza, I often found myself holding her in my arms while she slept with a tray of snacks next to me and Netflix on.
- Go outside and breathe in some fresh air. When Lil’ Pizza was born, I remember the only times I stepped out of the house was for her doctor appointments. Finally one Saturday, Mr. Pizza gently encouraged me to go out for a walk and it felt great. I didn’t realize how much I needed some time outside my house.
Emotionally
- Vent about your new role as a parent with friends who would love to listen and support you.
- Meet up with mommy friends. It really helped me that I was surrounded by moms of all different stages, whether they also had a newborn or they had older kids. The mom with the newborn could relate to all my crazy questions and worries and the more seasoned moms knew how to ease my mind from those crazy questions and worries.
- Read The Wonder Weeks. It helped me to know that my baby was likely fussy, more clingy, crying more during certain weeks because of something that she was going through developmentally and not something that I was doing or not doing right.
- Try not to dwell on the difficult moments but celebrate the victories. Tomorrow is a brand new day.
- If you are really struggling with your emotions and starting to not feel like yourself, talk to your doctor. Postpartum depression impacts so many new moms, so don’t be afraid to ask for help.
- Celebrate surviving three months of parenthood! Have a glass of wine, get a massage…do something to treat yourself! You deserve it!
What are some of your tips for first time parents to survive the first three months?
kiwi / 529 posts
THANK you so much for writing this. I just logged on today and this was the first thing I saw. I needed to read this. My lil guy is 3 weeks old tomorrow and I’ve cried twice pretty much every day since he’s been born. I know it doesn’t get easier but this made me feel like it does get better. I am going to try and take this advice and also read both of those books. thanks again!
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blogger / apricot / 431 posts
@paigeface: Hang in there mama! Entering parenthood was one of the hardest things I’ve gone through. The days can be so difficult but these tough times will pass!! There are definitely brighter, sweet and fun days ahead!
grapefruit / 4671 posts
@paigeface: hang in there, it will get so much better. In those early days with DD I used to just sit there and cry wondering why on earth I thought I could do this. She is 3 now:)
apple seed / 1 posts
Great tips Mrs. Pizza! You are an amazing mother!
grape / 87 posts
My newborn was such a noisy little sleeper. He sounded like a little pub breathing, so the white noise machine was more for me than him!
guest
Love this post–so helpful! A friend also told me about “The Happiest Baby on the Block” and I’ve just started to read that. Haven’t heard about the other one but will have to check it out! You are an awesome mama. Thanks for being so honest with your experiences!
blogger / apricot / 431 posts
@Megatherium: Haha, too funny. Whatever works for baby or mama!
guest
I needed to read this as a reminder tonight. I’m in trimester 2 with #2. I had severe postpartum depression with my first that triggered a mood disorder. I was so bent on not accepting help from people, and that was NOT a good plan. I just felt like, no, I’m okay, I can handle it. I shouldn’t need your help. Take the help people!! I will try very hard to remember that this time. #1 will be 5 by the time #2 is here, so he’ll be in school full time during the day. I hope that helps me feel less overwhelmed, but I’m hoping also not to end up isolated during the long winter.
blogger / apricot / 431 posts
@nicole: thanks for commenting! I think it definitely helps that you are aware of what could happen before having your second and being proactive with resources you may need to help you get through the difficult times. Although I struggled still with my second, it was more brief and I continued to surround myself with help. My 1st also helped in not feeling so isolated! Best wishes to you and congrats on #2!