Baby C is barely a few months past her 2nd birthday, but her education has been on my mind a lot recently. Although education as a subject has always been of interest to me, even pre kid, it wasn’t until I had a kid that I realized just how all encompassing this matter is.
The first reason that Baby C’s educational future is on my mind is because of our finances. Some of our big long-term debts are coming close to being paid off, which has given us some flexibility to start thinking about our long term goals and finances. Thankfully we’ve been careful not to accumulate any credit card debt, but my student loans have taken a big bite out of our income for the past 15 years. It’s with great excitement that we’re looking forward to having them paid off within 6 months, if not sooner, and our car – the only other debt we have, except our mortgage – is likely to be paid off within the next year. These two monthly payments alone would give us a large chunk of money back, and because we refinanced our mortgage into a lower rate and a more aggressive term last year, we’re finally building some equity on our condo. Mr. Carrot works in politics, here in the Washington DC area, so his job prospects are always a bit uncertain when it comes to election years, but by early 2017, about a year and a half before Baby C is ready for kindergarten, we’ll be in a place to seriously consider buying a house. Which means we’re thinking about where to buy based on where the “good schools” are.
The second reason I think about Baby C’s education quite a bit is that term – “good schools.” I put it in quotes because I struggle with this term a lot. We live in suburban Virginia, in the largest school district in this state. In the section of the district where we currently live, the schools are rated low to average (primarily on standardized testing data), owing most likely to the fact that our area has a very high immigrant population, and higher number of English as a Second Language (ESL) learners. I, as an immigrant kid myself, nearly failed my first standardized test, having been in the country for six months at that point, but was fluent by the time I entered the next grade six months after that. Thus I have a great deal of skepticism toward school ratings – do they really speak to educational quality, or simply how well kids test? But despite my skepticism, the ratings are hard to ignore. So when we think about where Baby C should go to school, we immediately start to think about areas where the schools are rated higher, which around here also means the cost of living is significantly higher as well and has to factor into our planning.
Beyond the ratings, the educational experience Baby C is going to have is of huge importance to me. I have a lot of friends with school age kids, and I hear a very broad range of feedback on what they are experiencing with their kids in school. A friend recently posted that her 6 year old has been struggling with his first year at school because they had to sit a lot, there was little play and activity time, and they weren’t allowed to talk for most of the day. Others have described their kids building volcanoes for science projects and preparing for service trips abroad. I don’t yet know what kind of learner Baby C is going to be, and I’m skeptical that my personal bandwagon for individualized/personalized learning is going to take foothold in the education system, but the idea of her being taught to a test and having few experiential and play learning opportunities saddens me. I worked in after-school programs and tutored kids for years, and have seen firsthand the short and long term damage that a poor learning environment can create. So I hope to spend some time researching our schools and finding potential good spots for us to consider moving to. I’m a huge supporter and big believer in public school education, so I don’t anticipate a private school being a route for us, but I do want my kid to have a good learning experience as she grows up.
Another reason this is on my mind is also around the idea of “good schools” but from a different angle. Having grown up in a very suburban area (though different state) myself, I went to a school with virtually no diversity. My friends were exactly like me (except the whole immigrant kid thing), and it was really only because I was an immigrant kid that I had a built-in predisposition to seek out diversity and get out of my environment. I want more than that kind of homogeneity for Baby C. She’s a mixed race kid, and I want her to see kids of all colors and types around her when she goes to school. As we look at the “good” schools and their makeup, the demographics begin to skew toward significantly less diversity. One great thing about living in the Washington DC area, which is very transient by nature of government and multinational companies’ work, is that we are naturally surrounded by lots of backgrounds, cultures, religions and beyond. The homogeneity I experienced is not nearly as pronounced in our area, but nonetheless, it does give me pause that Baby C may lose the diversity experience I hope she has.
I admit, sometimes I think about all these things (and as I’m re-reading this post), and I sound a little crazy even to myself, to be so entrenched in this topic. I understand fully that there is no such thing as a perfect education, short of homeschool that you design yourself (not gonna happen for us), so something will always give. I also fully appreciate the fact that parental involvement is a huge factor in educational success. The most important thing to me is not that my kid grows up to be a rocket scientist – in fact, I could care less if she ends up a rocket scientist or a starving actress. What matters most to me is that the 12 years she spends in school are not miserable for her. I watched my after-school kids struggle for years with terrible learning environments and being diagnosed with disorders, that could have just as easily have been lack of activity and play to get their energy out of their systems. My own brother was constantly penalized because he got bored easily and tuned out in class, ironically by having the subjects he cared about a lot taken away from him as punishment. I don’t want that kind of misery for my kid. However she learns, I want her to have fun doing it. I want her to find her passions and her path in life (or at least a general direction), whatever that may be. And I hope to find a place that will allow her to do these things happily.
pear / 1998 posts
I’m right there with you – and I haven’t even given birth yet. There is the “good” schools and the “bad” schools in my area and right now, the “bad” schools have more positives to my husband and me.
Ultimately though, I think an involved and aware parents is the biggest factor. Good luck as you navigate through this decision!
apricot / 317 posts
You are not the only one! I’ve been very concerned about my 4 year old DS’s schooling for about 2 years now. I love how you used the phrase ‘having a good learning experience as she grows up.’ That’s EXACTLY what I what for my son, too – regardless of test scores of other kids, etc. DS has learning needs that will not be easy to meet in the regular classroom, and I have MAJOR concerns about him being able to sit still and learn in Kindergarten next year with little playtime. We considered Montessori school (I am a HUGE fan of Montessori), but the one near us is prohibitively expensive. At the moment, we are using a blended home school/preschool approach to learning, and I am considering homeschooling next year, after work and on weekends, while a babysitter keeps him during the day. I am also considering a local public school (we are actually on ‘school choice’, so we get to decide on any public school in our county).
pomegranate / 3225 posts
This is really on my mind. Of course we want the BEST schools for our children, but diversity is also important… how do we find that balance?
pomelo / 5220 posts
This is often on my mind as well… so much to think about!
I grew up in Maryland (Howard County) and had a pretty good educational experience. The schools are “highly rated” for what its worth. There is also a fair amount of diversity, although not much economic diversity – it is a very wealthy county. And its a great place to grow up, but would be a tough commute to DC every day – although many, many people do it.
blogger / apricot / 367 posts
I’m right there with you on this topic! My husband and I always go back and forth on whether we need to move to better schools. We are in a relatively good district in the suburbs and it is diverse, which I really like, but the test scores are low. And we have some other issues with the special ed administration for my older daughter… But moving to the “best” schools in the area means a huge financial change for us that we just aren’t able to make at this time. Good luck to your family as you work through this decision!
blogger / pomegranate / 3044 posts
Move to MoCo MD! Much more diverse than NoVa, good schools, close to the city…
We live in PG (notoriously bad schools although it’s where Mr T and I grew up and we both turned out fine!) but our area has a great elementary & middle school, so we can stick around for about 10 years before we decide what to do for HS.
If you have the capability for it, have you considered private schools? Maybe not better on the diversity front…
blogger / pomegranate / 3044 posts
@psw27: woop woop MD! are you still in the area?
apricot / 425 posts
@Mrs. Tiger: @psw27: Fellow Marylander here! We lived in HoCo & I worked in PG for 8 years before moving to Connecticut for my husbands job. I miss MD so much!
pomelo / 5220 posts
@Mrs. Tiger: nope sadly! Maryland is awesome! I moved to boston about 15 years ago for college (wow that makes me feel old to say 15!) but my brother is still there! And my sister in law is a teacher in MoCo, which is also full of great schools!
@ktdid23 Maryland rules! I’m in MA now.
kiwi / 511 posts
One thing to keep in mind is how stretched teachers are now that they don’t track kids as much as they did back when I was in school. So a teacher is stretched teaching the high achievers, the middle of the road and the low end in the same class. Where does the poor teacher put their focus, on the high end to challenge them so they are not disruptive? On the low end because they really need the help and the others will get by just because of luck? It is a tough choice and puts the teacher in a bind. A similar effect will be in place with a higher percentage of ESL learners. This doesn’t mean anyone group or individual is smarter or more worthy just highlights why a school may be on the lower end of testing scores. There just isn’t time to do it all. But the current situation doesn’t lend itself to grouping learning groups to help them learn in a manner that is more consistent with their needs.
I was worried about my kindergartner sitting in school, we help combat that by getting him into a Kenpo Karate class.
guest
It sounds like South Arlington would be a perfect place for you. Check out houses in the Abingdon, Campbell or Henry boundaries. Good luck!
nectarine / 2667 posts
The toughest part of this for me is that, no matter how much a family plans & frets & tries to find the “best” combination for school, there is no way to know if it will work until your kid is in that school. I’m teaching private pre-k now & taught public school (K-2) for 10 years in various schools. My experience has opened my eyes to the fact that planning for my kids’ school experience is fruitless. Beyond making sure we’re not in the lowest SES districts, there are too many variables to consider: individual teachers, changing legislation, peer relationships – they’re all outside of my control. We plan on our neighborhood school & are preparing for how to support/supplement our kids’ education if there’s a rough patch.