The end of this week will mark a month since we officially moved Baby C into her toddler bed. The move was long overdue – she first climbed out of her crib nearly 3 months earlier, and despite getting pretty scared by the crash that followed, she continued to make attempts regularly thereafter. I, however, wanted to put this move off for as long as possible. Baby C is a night owl – her usual “fall asleep” time these days is around 9:30, and she has always needed at least a half hour of wind-down time. The crib worked well in this regard – we’d put her down around 8:45, she would roam around, play with her stuffed animals and blankets, and fall asleep when she was ready for it, while we got a little bit of time to read and relax ourselves. I knew that once the crib rail was no longer in place, the roaming would extend to her room and out. Although we had no safety concerns about this, I selfishly mourned the loss of what little time I had to relax myself if Baby C started wandering out of her room regularly.
Since our crib is convertible, the change was fairly minor – we took down the crib rail and put up the little guard. We talked to Baby C about her new “big girl” bed, but she didn’t really seem to internalize the change. For a full week and a half, it was almost as if nothing had changed. Although she got in and out of bed freely during the day, once we turned the lights off, she stayed put and fell asleep as she usually did. And then the jig was up.
The first night that Baby C wandered out of her bed, she spent the time in her room. We babyproofed extensively and made sure to leave no toys that made noise or lit up. While she was in her room, we let her be, and eventually she settled down as usual. But the next night she beelined straight for her door, and insisted that she wanted to sleep in mommy and daddy’s bed (weirdly, since she’s never slept in our bed before). We returned her to her bed, spent time some helping her settle down, but this newly found freedom kept her up until nearly 11 PM that night, and similarly the next night.
Exhausted ourselves, and at the advice of friends and fellow Bees here at Hellobee, we decided to try locking Baby C’s bedroom door. We were admittedly hesitant – I’m generally very sensitive to doing things that might unsettle my kid, and I was worried that locking her in might scare or upset her. However, after rattling the door a few times, she seemed to accept pretty quickly that it was locked and went off to wander around in her room. I heard her play with her toys and she’s fond of rocking in her rocking chair. After 15 minutes of silence, I went in to check on her (our baby monitor doesn’t give us a full room view), and found her curled up next to her rocking chair. She might have even dozed off, but the new door lock opened with a bit of a thump and it took me another 30 minutes of hand holding, belly rubbing and comforting to get her to finally fall asleep.
Now that we’re into our 4th week of this transition, we seem to have settled into a routine, though one I hope we don’t keep for long. We put Baby C down into bed, and it is nearly certain that she will get out as soon as we close the door and find a spot on the floor to lay down on. Usually it’s near the bed, or the door, which presents a challenge because if she falls asleep there, we then risk waking her up by opening the door and nudging her with it, given her proximity. This weekend, we decided to try solving for this problem by buying a blanket, both to cover her bed during the day and to serve as an additional spot for her to roll around on once the lights are off. The reviews on that strategy are still out – she seems to like the blanket, but both nights that we’ve had it, she’s wandered back toward the door anyway.
Hanging out anywhere but in bed
Thankfully, we haven’t had any more 11 PM nights, but it’s still taking her longer than usual to settle down (closer to 10). She’ll wander back and forth between the door and the blanket and the bed, roll around, etc. We’ve inevitably had to go in to sit with her, rub her belly and do whatever we could to help relax her, though it’s usually for naught. As has been true for this kid, she will not fall asleep until she’s absolutely ready to. We just hope it’s not too late and in a spot we can easily move her back to bed from. And as we watch her make her rounds, we wonder what might come next in this transition.
How did your kids’ big kid bed transitions go? Share any tips you might have!
eggplant / 11408 posts
How old is she? Great job, baby C!
We tried transitioning my then-22 month old DD about a month ago, and it was totally awful. She was very, very unhappy, and no one slept for a week. We put the crib side back up after 5 days of progressively worse bedtimes, and she immediately went back to sleeping 10 hours a night. I don’t think we will go back to the transitional bed. We will probably have to go straight to a full, because I know she will sleep there. She just could not handle the bed by herself. Maybe she was too young? I don’t know.
blogger / nectarine / 2043 posts
@LovelyPlum: she’s 3 months shy of her 3rd birthday. Thankfully, other than the few nights before we locked her in, she seems to be in her usual patterns (about the same amount of sleep, wandering/rolling around to calm down, etc). I just wish she’d stay in bed to do it. We considered putting the crib back but I’m not sure it would alter the result (expect the leaving bed part) so we’re roughing it out.
guest
We got the Ok to Wake clock to help with early wake up times (4:45), but it functions overall to help keep our daughter in bed so it might be worth a try!
guest
I just thought I’d share our situation – because our oldest did not do well with taking the front off the crib but did fine when we got her a twin and had them both in the room. She got to pick if she wanted the bed or the crib but if she tried to get out of her big girl bed, she had to go back to the crib. Sometimes she would go back in the crib and sometimes she would beg for her big girl bed and we would give her another chance and she would stay in the big bed. This was right before her 2nd birthday – like a month before. And once she got the hang of it – it was awesome! She did have a brief (maybe a week?) where she would wake early and come out of her room but that was short-lived and now even a year later she doesn’t leave her bed in the morning or after nap until we come get her.
blogger / apricot / 431 posts
Oh the struggles!! I am working on a similar post. Bedtime routine is so painful and it’s been about two months now.:(
coffee bean / 28 posts
This was our son, too! I couldn’t understand why he wouldn’t stay in his bed and he definitely slept on the floor almost every night for the first couple of months. Now, 6 months later, he stays in bed nearly all of the time and falls asleep there. He’s one who likes to talk and roll around for a good 45 minutes, too. He’s not quite 2 1/2, so we still have the baby lock on the doorknob, so he can’t get out. I plan on keeping that thing on as long as possible!
guest
Ugh, we ended up putting a babygate at my son’s door when he made the transition. He hates having his door closed so this was a compromise so he would stay in his room but could feel connected to the rest of the house. It worked great for over a year but then he figured out how to take it down at age 3-1/2 and all bets were off.
I’ve been trying the clock that changes color to say it is ok to rise but he doesn’t seem to care and will wander freely out of his room whenever he wakes and is restless. It’s meant me waking many times in the middle of the night to find him playing on his leappad or watching tv in the living room or peaking at me from my doorway. May have to lock the door if this keeps up
blogger / nectarine / 2043 posts
@Becky, we’re working on the clock, so far she’s not quite connecting with it but I’m hoping it will help as well.
blogger / nectarine / 2043 posts
@Morgan, that’s great! Unfortunately we can’t fit 2 beds in her room and we probably won’t get one until she grows this one out (and hers converts into a twin also) so we’ll see how it goes for now.
blogger / nectarine / 2043 posts
@Mrs. Pizza: I’m sorry, I hope it eases up! Our bedtime routine was always a rough go because she’s just such an active kid and we anticipated this so I think it could have been worse for us but still not fun.
blogger / nectarine / 2043 posts
@sunstar: Yeah, we’re pretty much resigned to letting it be and see what happens. I’m not sure what we’ll do when traveling, since locking her in and letting her wander won’t be an option – I guess we’ll just have to wait until she’s too tired and crashes.
guest
This happened to us, too! We didn’t plan our transition. LO who loved her crib and only tried to climb IN, started climbing out once her baby sister came home. She would climb out over and over for hours. I would calmly put her back for hours, supernanny style, to no avail.
We transitioned to a toddler bed and a door lock. It was a very rough transition and usually resulted in her sleeping on the floor by the door. Once she was asleep, we left her there. I did start putting a blanket on the floor where she slept for my own piece of mind (relatively speaking). There were a lot of tears (hers, mine).
After about 2 months, eventually one night she slept in her bed. Then again and again. Every once in a while, if something is stressing her, she will sleep on the floor. During the transition, I put a calendar up in her room and put a sticker on for each day she slept in her bed. I don’t think it was enough motivation to make her stay in bed, but it still helped to make it a positive experience and it helped me notice when she really was sleeping most nights in her bed and figure out what might be the stressor if she went back to the floor.
I’d also like to say thanks for writing this. This was truly one of the most difficult parenting experiences I have been through. I felt like such a failure when I had a new baby at home and I couldn’t control my toddler. Everyone would tell me they were just firm and their child didn’t question them, etc. Trust me, I tried everything and I’m not a push around, but my toddler bested me here. I was so embarrassed. At some point, I decided to stop being so ashamed and admit this happened, and suddenly I had at least 3 other parents tell me the same thing happened to them.
When we traveled, she stayed up much later than normal. Then one of us slept with her and one of slept with the baby, even though we never co-sleep at home.
blogger / nectarine / 2043 posts
@Mary, I have a feeling I’ll be writing a bunch of these before things finally settle down. It’s helped me to hear of others’ experiences and I hope it helps others to hear mine. I truly believe that we all do the best we can with our kiddos and no one can judge that. I’m very much a “pushover” though I see it as responding to what my kid needs as best I can.
pear / 1852 posts
The worst part about when we moved DD into her big girl bed was that all our effort with our version of CIO went out the window, because she could get out, lol.