It’s almost impossible to predict how your life is going to change once you have a baby. But one thing that was apparent early on was how hard sleep deprivation was going to be. While Mr. Ice Cream and I vary widely in some interests, we share a similar love of data. Given that, when Max was born it was a no brainer that we start tracking everything from our sleep to his diapers, bottles, sleep sessions, etc. We easily log all of our sleep activity using the Fitbit HR which automatically detects sleep without having to manually start and stop a timer. Here is a visual of how an infant impacts your sleep.
MONTH 1-4. I wouldn’t say the first 4 months were a breeze, but they weren’t as hard as I was anticipating. This was partly because I had developed a worst case scenario in my mind and was mentally prepared for how difficult this time would be. I pictured myself looking like a zombie with bloodshot eyes, greasy hair and 2 day old sweatpants on. Needless to say, it wasn’t like that at all.
Since we didn’t start giving Max a bottle until he was about 6 weeks old, the nighttime feedings were up to me. Luckily Mr. Ice Cream was an amazing and supportive partner. He woke up for every single feeding, even after he went back to work, to change Max’s diaper and help us get situated.
By the time I went back to work, Max was 8 weeks old and only waking up once to nurse. I didn’t even mind getting up because Max would latch easily and then immediately go back to sleep afterwards. I was averaging between 6-7 hours a night and I remember thinking “I can do this.” Here’s a look at my sleep from the first 4 months. Each black line is a sleep session and the gaps between black lines represent time awake. So if Max woke up 2 times in one night, then I might have had 3 sleep sessions. The orange and red tick marks are Fitbit’s assessment of sleep quality (the fewer ticks means less disrupted sleep).
The First 4 Months
MONTH 5-8. Shortly after Max turned 4 months old, his sleep routine completely changed and as a result so did ours. Max started waking up 2-3 times a night, wasn’t hungry, and wouldn’t go back to sleep. Mr. Ice Cream and I would take turns staying up and rocking Max until he fell asleep. Some nights we even tried to drive him around and even that wasn’t a guarantee. Our average sleep per night dropped to around 4 hours, with some nights as few as 2 hours. And from the graph below, you can see that the time between sleep sessions was much longer than the first 4 months. This period was tough.
Month 5-8
MONTH 9.- August 30th, also known as the day we sleep trained Max or better yet, the day we got our sleep back. Almost immediately, I started averaging around 7 hours of sleep and usually that was in 1 sleep session!
Month 9-11
Luckily Max has only gotten better at putting himself to sleep, but Mr. Ice Cream and I won’t forget how tough those few months were. Now that we are all well rested, we are having so much more fun these days! Here is one of my favorite visualizations of my sleep. The graph is showing length of each sleep session. Notice the first 5 weeks I never slept more than 2-3 hours at a time, but that gradually got better over the first year. The data shown here only goes up to November, but my sleep has remained consistent since then! To all the new moms out there who was struggling with sleep deprivation, I hope this offers a little perspective that it will get better!
Average length of each sleep session
I’d love to hear how much sleep other moms (or dads!) are getting?
wonderful kiwi / 23653 posts
Definitely not enough for the first 8 months, since that’s how long it took DD to STTN without any sleep training! Now, I sleep 6-8 hours but I am still never rested
pea / 23 posts
Our experience has been very similar. DS3 slept through the night for about two weeks before the dreaded four-month regression. It’s never been the same since! He’s eight months now and wakes up twice a night on most nights. He’s not really hungry, but nursing him for about five-ten minutes will put him back to sleep most times. I’m curious – how did sleep training go at 9 months?
pomelo / 5220 posts
I am so hazy on when my LO did things… I can’t remember when he slept through the night. I definitely know when I went back to work (3 1/2 months) he was not sleeping through the night, and that was hard. I got a fitbit when he was about 7 months old and I also find the sleep tracking super fascinating – sometimes it made me realize that I had no reason to complain about how tired I was because I was only up for 10 or 15 minutes for a quick feeding. And sometimes it made me realize that I was exhausted for a reason!
blogger / nectarine / 2043 posts
What a cool visual!
guest
At four months my daughter stopped sleeping even though we did CIO very early at 11 weeks. She goes to sleep fine but won’t stay asleep. I’d say now I average maybe 5 hours a night, 3 all at once and I’m up by 5 daily. I hope she sleeps more soon…
blogger / nectarine / 2600 posts
Wow thats a neat chart. I could never be that organized. And the answer to your question is definitely not enough sleep…not enough by half
guest
Those are some impressive graphics! My oldest started sleeping through the night at 6 months when we sleep trained (took 2 nights total and was glorious!). In contrast, my youngest didn’t start sleeping through the night until 11 months (I thought I was going to die of exhaustion). And now…here we are with our youngest at 18-months old, and I’m still exhausted. So, I’ve come to the conclusion that since having kids I just don’t sleep as well myself!
blogger / apricot / 250 posts
@hawksaz: the first week of sleep training was tough, but we were encouraged after he slept for a 4.5 hour stretch the first night. There was some crying but in the end Max was a much happier baby once he was getting enough sleep!
blogger / apricot / 250 posts
@psw27: I completely agree about the Fitbit! There are some mornings I feel exhausted but my Fitbit says I slept 7 hours and somehow that makes a difference.
apricot / 279 posts
with my first born, the first 3 months were pretty terrible. We had to learn breastfeeding as she had poor latch and I was doing the nurse and pump at night thing…she was waking every hour and between that and pumping i pretty much get no sleep. Going crazy at that point…the breastfeeding got better and i realized she hates the bottle and the stored milk, she wanted fresh! so I cut down on the night pumping and still had an over supply. 4-15 months she was still waking every 2-3 hours, but in my book that was better than 1-3 months. with my son, he’s nursing a lot at night too, but he learned to nurse laying down on bed since he was 3 months! and although his every movement would wake me, we are a good team, i just go back to snoozing as he latches on.
Happy to hear your sleep experience is pretty good!
I saw some fitbit discussion above…I don’t think the Fitbit sleep is all correct, I for one know i wake up at least a dozen times at night sometimes for half hr lengths, but it doesn’t pick it up.
blogger / cherry / 174 posts
I’m a data nerd and loving these charts! Sleep was actually worse for us both times around 9-10 months. Not sure if it was teething or becoming more fearful at night. Thankfully, it is better now!
blogger / apricot / 431 posts
My littlest is at 9 months and is averaging 2 feedings a night. I really need to sleep earlier but I still only get 3 hour stretches at a time. She does seem to be turning a corner lately so hopefully I will get longer stretches of sleep soon. The chart is a cool way to visually see how your sleep has changed as your LO’s gotten older.
blogger / apricot / 250 posts
@Snowybreeze: There is a sensitivity setting on the Fitbit if you don’t think it is picking up when you wake up at night. Maybe that will help?
blogger / apricot / 250 posts
@Mrs. Pizza: I hope you and your littlest start getting longer stretches of sleep soon. 9 month was definitely a rough point for us, which is why we decided to start sleep training when we did.