I have always wanted to have at least two kids, but that didn’t stop me from being terrified when I was about to have my second baby! Lil Washi was two and a half when Washi baby was born and I was so scared of the transition from one child to two. I was pretty sure I was never going to sleep or have a minute to myself again.
Of course, like most things in life, the reality was much different than I expected. There was definitely a bit of a learning curve at first, but after a few months, things really settled down. And while some things truly are much harder with two, there are also lots of things that are surprisingly awesome.
They truly love each other. I don’t know why this came as such as a surprise, but almost from the very beginning, my boys have just really loved one another. I was expecting jealousy or maybe indifference, but luckily that hasn’t been the case. Washi baby adores everything his big brother does and Lil Washi thinks that making his baby brother laugh and smile is his greatest purpose in life.
They entertain one another. I expected that with two little ones, I would be spending twice as much time keeping them busy. Not so. In reality, even though Washi baby is only 8 months old, they really enjoy playing together. If Washi baby starts crying, lots of times, Lil Washi will try to cheer him up by handing him toys or tickling him or dancing for him. And with both of them busy playing together, I’m free to actually take care of other things like cooking dinner. This has definitely been a welcome surprise!
Lil Washi is turning into a great helper. At three years old, Lil Washi has been a much bigger help than I ever imagined. He not only keeps his baby brother entertained, he also brings me diapers and wipes and pacifiers when needed and helps put dirty clothes in the hamper. Of course there are plenty of times he isn’t feeling particularly helpful, but I have been surprised at how much he loves helping.
Sometimes a miracle occurs and they nap at the same time. It took a few months to get our schedule tweaked just right, but now, most afternoons the boys actually nap at the same time. Well, Lil Washi only truly naps about half the time, but he has quiet time in his room everyday regardless. Most days I get 1-2 hours of time in the middle of the day all to myself! As an introvert, I really appreciate having a few minutes everyday when I can just be alone and do a few things without being interrupted. It gives me time to clean the house, fold laundry, work on my personal blog, or, if I’m feeling really indulgent, take a nap myself.
There are, of course, other parts of having two that aren’t quite as great.
Juggling two schedules is definitely tougher. I’m sure this will become less of a problem as the boys get older, but juggling two different schedules does make things more complicated. Washi baby still nurses every three hours or so and takes 2-3 naps a day while Lil Washi eats at regular meal times and is down to one nap a day. It is definitely manageable but it does tend to complicate any plans we make.
Sometimes both kids need me at the same time. Usually things go pretty smoothly around here, but there have definitely been moments of total chaos. It is unavoidable that sometimes both boys will need me at the same time. And when they are both melting down simultaneously, someone has to wait. These times really are extremely stressful. There is nothing worse than knowing one of your babies is crying for you and not being able to take care of them right away, but thankfully these times are usually over pretty quickly.
I can only be one place at a time. These past few months, Lil Washi has unfortunately started to become very sneaky. When Lil Washi knows I am busy nursing the baby or trying to get him to sleep, he takes the opportunity to go climb and get into things and make colossal messes. Needless to say, this is extremely frustrating and has led to lots of unhappy times for both Lil Washi and myself. I can’t always be with both boys at the same time, but I am finally learning some tricks that seem to be helping with this problem.
Leaving the house is a major production. Going anywhere with a baby takes forever to begin with. Add in a toddler too and it can take us fifteen minutes just to get out the front door and into the car. And the same drawn out process is repeated every single time we get in and out of the car.
Even though life with two kids has its difficulties, it hasn’t been nearly as scary as I imagined. There have definitely been really hard moments, but there have also been wonderful surprises like watching my boys’ relationship with one another develop, even at this early stage. It makes me excited for whatever comes next.
Did you find the transition from one to two easier or harder than you thought?
grape / 89 posts
I feel like I could have written this post! The trick I’ve recently discovered for getting out of the house is buckle the kids in first thing. Then I load the car up, get the things I need, put their shoes on, etc. I usually give them a book (or sometimes a lollipop) to keep them happy. Mine are 21 months apart and are now 2 & 3. This has simplified things so much.
cantaloupe / 6086 posts
Agree with all of this! I say when it comes to two, the highs are higher and the lows are lower. I love how much they entertain each other now (just turned 4 and 1). Now I am wondering if 3 works the same way! I’d likely have one in kindergarten and hoping the big ones would entertain each other while I took care of newborn. We’ll see if we get there!
wonderful kiwi / 23653 posts
Thanks for this post! I’m hoping for a 2.5 yr gap so it’s very helpful!
pomegranate / 3768 posts
Our kids are the same age! Mine don’t quite entertain each other yet though. They love having each other around (DD1 always asks for her sister when she’s not there), but they don’t actually play with each other. I’m looking forward to when DD2 gets older and they start to really interact with each other!
grapefruit / 4717 posts
Thank you for this! I’m nervous about having 2. Ours will be a little over 4 years apart, so I’m hoping our first will be as helpful as your older son.
They’re adorable!
pear / 1632 posts
This is perfect! I needed this so thank you. Baby brother #2 will be here in a few short weeks and I’ve been starting to worry how my son, who’s 2 1/2, will handle the transition.
thank you
They will be 3 months shy of 3 years apart and I’m hoping that lo will fall in love with the new guy
blogger / cherry / 222 posts
@deannab1: That is a fabulous idea! I am going to try it and see how it goes! Thanks.
blogger / cherry / 222 posts
@bhbee: Yes, definitely higher highs and lower lows. I wonder about three as well. I have heard so many times that the transition to three is rough. Although I had heard the same about two and it turned out fine.
blogger / cherry / 222 posts
@jh524 @pregnantbee @snowjewelz wishing you the best of luck!
blogger / cherry / 222 posts
@dolphin: It took mine a few months but now they love to play. I can’t wait until they can run around together although I am sure I will regret that later!
guest
I had to transition from 1 to 3 when I was surprised by fraternal twins. (My daughter and twin boys are 2 years a part). I was confident but scared when I found out I was pregnant again. I had heard about getting them on the same schedule, etc. but once you have them you soon realize even twins are 2 totally different people. They don’t sleep, eat, poop at the same time. Schedules are hopeless. There is no sleep when the baby sleeps. And let’s talk about guilt because you feel like you’ve abandoned your first born as you’re trying to learn how deal with 2 new crying babies. My boys will be 6 months in a few days…I’m not gonna lie it’s definitely been a difficult transition. But I know it will get easier in time.
blogger / cherry / 222 posts
@Jen: Thank you for sharing your experience. I’m not gonna lie – I used to really want twins until I had my first child and realized how incredibly hard that would be! I can only imagine how hard it has been! Especially when the schedule just isn’t working. Good luck! I’m sure you are right and it will get easier with time and it sounds like you are doing a great job.
pea / 20 posts
please do a post on the tricks you have for managing your sneaky 3 year old!